Dealing with Approach Apathy?

PLplotsOTS · 2012-02-07T17:32:32+00:00

I've only been into this for two months, but approach apathy is my default mode (I have nearly zero approach anxiety). Only when I go out on weekend nights do I get excited about pickup.

Are you as good at pickup as you want to be? Are you happy with your current relationships with women? If yes, good for you! Your apathy is a result of your contentment, and there's nothing wrong with that. Take a break for a while.

But remember: like any other social skill, pickup always has room for improvement. For an analogy, let's say that instead of discovering pickup 8 months ago, you got into public speaking instead. After the initial thrill faded off, you'd eventually lose the giddy compulsion to stand up and deliver oratories at every opportunity. Yet the skills you learned still apply to your daily life (talking, duh), and perhaps in the near future you'll find a revived interest in it.

In the meantime, don't worry about it. Enjoy life however you want to.

sillymallard · 2012-02-07T18:25:37+00:00

What is your goal in life? For a while, it was to get good with approaching girls. Now that you have that under your belt, what is your goal? This is the source of your apathy. Maybe you want a girlfriend? Or a wife? Or a family? Maybe you want to get with even hotter girls? Maybe your goal isn't related to game at all. Maybe you just really want to be successful, make a lot of money. Maybe you just want to help others less fortunate than yourself? Not being good with girls was something you needed to fix in your life, and you've done a pretty good job at fixing it. Figure out what it is you want in life, and how game plays a part in that, if it does at all.

2012-02-07T19:21:59+00:00

Motivation?

Do you allow yourself to fantasize of the "impossible"? Sex with that hot girl that totally ignores you at the gym? The 3-some with only HB10's? Picking up a girl on your way home from work, and having her make dinner for you before you bang the shit out of her?

Or do you discard those fantasies as silly and stupid?

Well. Stop that. ALLOW yourself to dream om these things. ALLOW yourself to think of yourself to something greater than you currently are. Set goals just outside the perimeter of the impossible, and take the first step towards them today.

Do it now... PUA !;)

BrianKPSMark · 2012-02-07T19:42:49+00:00

Approach Apathy is a stage of serious growth.

I found myself falling into "Approach Apathy" about a year ago. I found that the short term external connections I was making wasn't worth my time or energy anymore. I realized that I had the skillset to go out and make strangers into acquaintances and take them home, but I never developed any long term, long lasting connections. I wasted a year of my time and all I had was social skills that I had no use for.

My recommendation is to find a purpose for your social skills. Set some goals and use your newfound social skills and meet the right people to help you get to your goals. Instead of approaching all the time set missions. I'm using my social skills to book meetings with people that I wouldn't usually meet up with to sell products that I wouldn't usually be comfortable selling to strangers. That's my example but you could do anything you wanted where there was a stranger on the other side that you could practice your social skills on AND get what you want :)

themanbat · 2012-02-07T17:31:41+00:00

It sounds like you're either depressed or ready to move onto another stage of your life (marriage).

swamy_g · 2012-02-07T16:33:19+00:00

I assume you have a bunch of fuckbuddies then?

Or are you bored of sex? Don't want to try to get that 3-some?

sparklyteenvampire · 2012-02-07T17:50:43+00:00

Keep finding challenges to face. Open groups with a different makeup than you're used to (girls to guys, HBs to mediocre girls, larger groups, lone wolves). Try out stripper game, bartender game, waitress game. Go after hotter and hotter girls: start restricting yourself to 9+ or 9.5+ or whatever challenges you.

One other thing that might help is not focusing on the game as an activity in itself, but as something that happens while you're out doing your thing. Focus on having a good time with your friends, meeting interesting people, etc. Try to push the game down into your subconscious, so that the act of brushing past shit tests or DHV or whatever is on autopilot, and you're fully in the conversation. Hope that makes sense.

RedErin · 2012-02-07T17:14:11+00:00

Some say Apathy is another form of fear

Yup. You're brain will try to convince you in many different ways that it doesn't want to talk to people. Because at the core, it still has that fear.

Hormander · 2012-02-07T18:21:28+00:00

You should stop approaching girls for a moment. I think motivation will come back if you wait enough time without making any approach.

30vanquish · 2012-02-08T02:01:07+00:00

Yeah got this as well. Do things that are tougher. Try opening 5-sets in the daytime. Now that is ridiculous. Stuff like that.

2012-02-08T06:50:14+00:00

Get a group of pickup friends (theres a small group everywhere) and play the go game. You do 15 pushups, no matter how sticky and dirty that bar floor is if you hesitate to go approach a girl that your buddy points out.

2012-02-07T16:33:30+00:00

Just have fun and dick around cuz your obviously the cooler guy at the club or whatever

MidnightThunderboy · 2012-02-07T16:52:02+00:00

Why do you go to clubs? Are you having fun?

Red_Alt · 2012-02-07T20:09:53+00:00

Start bringing props and open with those. Keep it interesting for yourself. Do what Simple Pickup does.

KPB724 · 2012-02-08T05:11:59+00:00

Change the scene. As in try picking up girls in other places other than 'meat markets'

amazingGOB · 2012-02-07T19:51:04+00:00

The idea of penis on vagina contact isn't enough to motivate you? :P

Title	Dealing with Approach Apathy?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	24
Comments	33
Date	February 7, 2012 4:09 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pesf0/dealing_with_approach_apathy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dealing-with-approach-apathy.1328006 https://theredarchive.com/post/1328006

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