26 y/o virgin, moving to the capital city for the first time for a new role, what would you do if you were me?

Smart_Mammoth_7791 · 2022-10-11T00:47:38+00:00

I differ from others here. I think you can work on yourself and improve your game at roughly the same time.

If I was you, I would focus 100% on my new job 6 months or so, really hit it out the park. Once your boss and everyone is comfortable that you are a great employee they will cut you more slack.

Then I would work on improving my appearance and game (internal and external) whenever not working.

It doesn’t matter how much money you have and how amazing your physique is if you don’t put yourself in a situation to meet and approach women. All that preparation becomes an excuse to be a coward and not approach.

Approach, approach, approach. You will miss some, you will hit some. Those hits will make it all worth it. Those misses will just give you a thicker skin and a thick skin is good.

Otherwise you will find yourself 10 years older, maybe richer, but still afraid of approaching women.

RicoGon · 2022-10-11T02:36:02+00:00

Hey brother I hope you read this. I’m 26 so it resonated with me.

I would say get on dating apps. But also maintain a balance, so if you see a cute girl who looks about your age in line at a coffee or tea shop, you could introduce yourself. Not necessarily go out and get numbers, but the more you put yourself in uncomfortable scenarios the easier it will become.

I would also suggest you get a gym membership and train 2-3 days out of 7. Do your best at your work. Eat healthy if you can afford to.

Women pick up on subtle details. Are your finger nails a bit overgrown? Dirty? Are you maintaining your facial hair if any? Are you wearing clothes that actually fit and compliment your body well? Are your sneakers clean or are they ready to be tossed out?

Your first impression is everything. Whether you’re at your new job, at your new gym, or in line grabbing coffee. Your image matters. Take care of yourself. Smile! It’s ok to make eye contact :) just know that it gets better. You’re still so young, don’t be too hard on yourself. Focus on what you can control. Don’t stress over what you cannot.

For example I’m 5’7 and I used to stress over my height and made it my biggest insecurity, until I learned to relax a little bit and just focus on my image. Wear nice clothing now that fits me well. Got my muscle mass up. Got my weight up. Keep my body we groomed. I make more eye contact and I smile more lately. Ive never done better with women in my life until age 26.

Keep your head up my friend and enjoy yourself in this new chapter

ChildSlayer3001 · 2022-10-11T01:57:44+00:00

Approach like crazy. You have the perfect opportunity because london is huge, you can never run out of girls. Work on your body etc too if you haven't yet. In one year you'd be in another place in terms of social skills and physique.

omega05 · 2022-10-11T14:24:12+00:00

What I want from you OP is 6 months to a year from now to create a thread on here guiding the younger dudes on how you became a seduction monster in your new city. Thats all I want for you

NinetailsDestruction · 2022-10-10T21:49:32+00:00

I would focus on yourself in terms of body, and making money and being independent. Don’t focus on girls and try to be someone that can make a girl really happy and have fun.

And also please don’t mention your Indian when looking for advice. I’ve seen it too many times and it really doesn’t make a difference in advice.

chillbill1220 · 2022-10-11T00:42:02+00:00

If you have good pictures of yourself try dating apps. Not much fear of rejection on the apps. In my experience you’ll get maybe one date for every 20 girls you match with. So don’t get too invested in each match and just put energy into the ones that are showing interest.

quadfintryfin · 2022-10-11T08:37:35+00:00

Get hobbies that will lead you to meet more people. Team sports such as volleyball, baseball league, basketball, running, whatever.

Forget this rico suave bullshit.

There are many meetup groups that may help too. I there’s a run-drink club where I live. I’m sure that’d be a great opportunity to meet people.

hummm- · 2022-10-11T13:51:50+00:00

Well here's my advice. You're young. Focus on your life and career but that still leaves plenty of time for you to have play time. Find the time to enjoy yourself with as many females as you can. You don't have to go all the way with sex if you're not ready. But get out there and enjoy yourself. Let yourself enjoy their bodies and let them explore your body. Don't worry about self-esteem. If the women are into you then obviously they're attracted to you. You should make sure your balancing out your life with fun and something that makes you feel good along with work. So again 100% go out there and enjoy every opportunity/experience you can with a female body. Even if it's just her stroking you or if it's just you being able to explore her body. It will do wonders for for your mindset and mental well-being.

RokuroMonsuta · 2022-10-11T07:57:10+00:00

Thanks to all the comments on here, I will read through them after work and make a plan of action :-)

Eymar_ · 2022-10-11T07:39:21+00:00

Id get an escort

2022-10-11T06:57:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-10-10T23:51:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

zapadz · 2022-10-10T22:12:19+00:00

Here are some videos on getting started attracting women

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPCU03Dp8Zw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=050mAG7O4LY&list=PL76nuCstxs7jpcbJ3B5Cbrs7-4gTwjBWF&index=1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vW6xxz92gJk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-jvM3NSs6Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twTrrGiRXtY

mjornir · 2022-10-11T04:03:25+00:00

I’d say focus on socializing. Find a friend group first, go out and meet people. Find some cafes, parks and bars you like and can frequent. Find some meetup groups/hobbies/social sport leagues that you can get involved with. Build your social network and social skills. And then go from there

RokuroMonsuta · 2022-10-11T11:57:10+00:00

The social dancing scene in London is very good, particularly Bachata. Bachata is mainly full of women in their 20s which is the ideal demographic for you. It's a good way to meet girls and build a social/friend group which you need when moving to a new city

turned_wand · 2022-10-11T14:47:46+00:00

Have good nutrition, exercise, hobbies that you enjoy and make you interesting. Go out often but not too often. Don’t make picking up girls your objective, make going out to the event and enjoying it your objective. When they give you attention (aka choosing signals aka indicators of interest) ACT ON IT. They don’t give every guy that same attention. I know exactly what you mean about having trash mindset and self esteem and not escalating. If a girl approaches you, like is all of a sudden within three to six feet of you, it wasn’t an accident. Talk to her. Dance with her. I can’t even remember the number of times I’ve been at a venue and some baddie babe is all of a sudden right next to me where I’m dancing. Sometimes they even just approach and start grinding without me doing anything. And I have never fucked a single one of them. Because I didn’t act and didn’t escalate. Like some scared little boy.

pikecat · 2022-10-11T16:06:11+00:00

Just practice talking to people, people that you don't know. You can also follow all the other advice here too. But talking to people will slowly increase your social skills. Never worry if it doesn't go well, it can be the other person, either way you will get better.

I was a bit shy when young, because I didn't know what to say to people, or felt I wasn't good enough. After lots of practice, I would say all of the right things without any thought at all. Now, when you're not concerned with your social skills, you start to see more that you didn't see before.

Along the way, the ever increasing confidence got me laid at an ever increasing rate.

I did not set out to get girls, just to be better socially. Getting laid was just an accident. Not needing a girl seems to be a thing that works.

Shrodax · 2022-10-11T16:10:57+00:00

Make sure your logistics are in order wherever you live. You'll want an apartment (or flat as you British call them?) within close walking distance of bars, coffee shops, and restaurants. Arrange your dates there, so it's very easy to hop over to your place afterwards!

revente · 2022-10-11T22:56:02+00:00

Divide your attention between joining hobby groups and the cold approaching, preferably in bars/clubs.

hakeem15 · 2022-10-12T00:22:31+00:00

I would tell me to regularly go out and do things that I enjoy that have a decent amount of women around. The more women you're around these women who share interests, the better you'll become at relaxing/socializing with them. Eventually you'll meet your tribe & make friends that either like you romantically or they will have friends that want you.. and it'll be effortless and abundant.

I'd also lose the mentality of virgin /struggle with women, since that burrows into the subconscious and causes self sabotage. You're already a normal dude, worthy of love and romance. Girls like you now. That's the mentality to have :)

RokuroMonsuta · 2022-10-12T16:23:00+00:00

If you haven't started exercising and getting fit, I would start spending some time on that.

I'd also take up a social hobby outside of work to put myself out there. Salsa/Bachata dancing is a great way to meet friends (male and female), and the women there are much less standoffish and more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt, in my experience anyway.

Don't go full monk mode and focus on income alone. You won't develop your social skills and character that way.

grindforthegold · 2022-10-13T15:38:56+00:00

i wouldn’t know i’ve gotten rejected in my past 8 dates

Title	26 y/o virgin, moving to the capital city for the first time for a new role, what would you do if you were me?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	41
Comments	42
Date	October 10, 2022 9:37 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/y0qufq/26_yo_virgin_moving_to_the_capital_city_for_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/26-yo-virgin-moving-to-the-capital-city-for-the.1248572 https://theredarchive.com/post/1248572

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