[deleted by user]

revente · 2022-09-02T14:38:01+00:00

The reality is that many girls are just lame people.

jazerac · 2022-09-02T22:50:15+00:00

Immediately. No decent conversation = minimal interest. If a chick actually begins to engage with you, then she is interested. Fuck the ones looking for small dopamine bumps.

MrBlack__ · 2022-09-02T17:11:50+00:00

She says she’s broke and you said “why are you broke”

Are you serious?

She said she has no plans… and you didn’t invite her out…?

Bro you’re conversational skills are friendzone-ese

hunterpua · 2022-09-02T13:38:04+00:00

I don't really try to have unique conversations on Tinder. Well, they may seem unique to girls but to me its usually a variation of things I've talked about lots of times.

Most dating apps are set up to get guys to spend as much money as possible. A dating app that makes it easy for a guy to quickly get what he wants is just bad for their business because there will be no incentive to spend on it and even keep the app installed in your phone.

Because of that I approach online dating with a more business/analytics mindset. The algorithms and just the fact that you're not talking face to face make it pretty much impossible to really connect as human beings anyway.

So I've personally kept track and come up with a few openers that get the most responses, a few statements that inspire a lot of intrigue and make them wanna talk more and a few conversations that make them wanna go on a date quickly.

Another reason I do that is so that I care as little as possible for someone who could just be fishing for followers, looking for validation, or could be a catfish or bot altogether.

If someone is just a few pictures and texts on a screen to you then it's way too early to start caring about them.

I wait unti I meet them in person to really try to connect with them.

I also don't believe in putting in a disproportionate amount of effort just for dating in general so of course I'm not gonna try to be original every single time I match with someone because of the half-assed way you've seen women be on those apps.

I already have enough unique conversations in the real world from cold approach, social circle, talking to people in my life, and texting girls I've already met in person so I don't need to do that on dating apps. I say the more automated you can get it, the better, so you get the most benefit with the least hassle.

thisistib · 2022-09-02T13:36:15+00:00

It does sound like this girl might just be a bit of a dead-fish / only looking for attention. But that said I see a lot of problems with your DMing approach as well. How to message people on dating apps is a lot of personal style, but mine has generally worked very well for me, so I'll share the contrasts I see with yours.

I never compliment a girl on a dating app. Not out of some misguided approach to "game" or anything like that, I just think it's a boring, typical approach. If she's hot, she already knows these things about herself, and guys are bombarding her with the same shit over and over every day. Stand out a little - make an interesting or unique comment about something on her profile, maybe tease a little bit but in a light-hearted friendly way. Stand out.
I never ask what they've been up to, what they are up to, what they're getting up to, etc. Again, it's boring, predictable and shows a lack of conversation skills. The one exception is if we've already built up some rapport and I'm getting ready to ask them out. But in that case rather than saying what are you up to this weekend, I'll ask are you free this weekend. Makes it very clear what I'm getting at and cuts to the chase. If they're interested they'll respond, if they just want attention or to pass the time they'll ghost. Either way I can stop wasting time chatting on Hinge, which is absolutely not what I'm there for.
I never push for an answer to a question I've already asked (referring to "there's gotta be something"). You already asked and she already answered. You're not gonna force a better answer out of her. And the inability to move on from that question shows either that you're boring and don't know how to make conversation, or don't like no for an answer, because it sub-communicates a bit of "Hey, answer my question when I ask it, even if you don't want to!". Let the conversation flow - respond to her answers, don't redirect back to your previous statements/questions. A much better response there would have been something about how she's broke, maybe tease her about it a little bit. Something like "Ohhh so you're just here to get taken out to fancy dinners then?".
Finally, and most importantly, remember the apps are primarily a numbers game. If you're good maybe 10% max of your matches will turn into a date, and closer to 1% is probably more realistic. If it's not going anywhere or feels forced or boring, just move on. Don't waste your time. And certainly don't get attached to any individual match just because she's cute. So to answer your last question, no it's not worth it to reply. If you want to throw a hail mary just say "Let's grab a drink soon, when are you free?". I'd give it about a .1% chance of success, but there's really nothing else left to say.

HyakuShichifukujin · 2022-09-02T16:28:18+00:00

1 - To answer title question, very little. Probably 2 answers in a row that I don’t like and I’m done. Most girls on tinder will waste your time no matter what you do and you need to be ruthless about recognizing this and moving on and spamming as many swipes as possible. Tinder is efficient for getting laid relative to overall effort invested, but only if you are being efficient about it.

2 - That said, the messages you posted that you sent them are also pretty boring and directionless. Beyond boring, asking her why she’s broke is actively bad as you are eliciting negative emotions. Tinder is not for having long conversations, it is to pitch a meet up as fast as possible. Every message you send needs to directly work towards this goal and you need to steer the girl into answering positively - she has 300 other matches so don’t expect any effort from her at this stage. Have the conversation in person when she’s sitting next to you at a bar or better, on your couch.

No-Platform-2184 · 2022-09-02T15:56:22+00:00

You didn’t do yourself any favors here. However, I tend to let convos die if I’m asking good open ended questions and I only get simple answers back and question. I always ask a question at first and my first “interest test” is to just respond with a comment and see if they continue the convo.

YouGotTangoed · 2022-09-02T18:23:42+00:00

In no reality or space-time continuum am I sending 9+ messages through Online Dating. Witty comment about profile > banter > number > move off app.

Who cares about her responses, if she’s hot and into me, that’s all that matters. If she’s boring on the date, I will still attempt to smash, and if successful keep her as a last resort fwb. I’ve had girls that barely talk online, turn out to be quite interesting irl, and would have never met them if I didn’t follow this mindset

Digiarts · 2022-09-03T00:25:12+00:00

You match

You ask if they’d like to meet

The end

2022-09-02T20:35:08+00:00

They don’t have to try, youre one in millions that’s why.

aznkor · 2022-09-03T06:41:44+00:00

"you’re too sweet"

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	18
Comments	26
Date	September 2, 2022 1:02 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x40zr9/how_long_will_you_put_in_effort_with_a_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1250747 https://theredarchive.com/post/1250747

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