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[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Comfort (I fucked up on this one so much in my life, when meeting a stranger, you need them to be comfortable) + curiosity
[–]atomant88 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
fun. i want them to think im the life of the party, im on a nonstop adventure. i want them to want to join in that adventure. but then again i like adventurous women lol if youre going for someone more 'prudish ' you'll have different priorities
[–]Contango6969 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn’t try to evoke any emotion in them. I would try to entertain myself, make myself laugh, satisfy my own curiosity and see if I can get anything interesting out of the other person.
Major key
[–]appmanga 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Trust is the most important emotion, because a woman will not willingly have sex with someone she doesn't trust, but if you have just 10 minutes you'd want to evoke affinity. What many people are talking about when they refer to "a connection" is affinity.
[–]computerstuffs 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
affinity
woman have a special affinity for confidence, is that right?
[–]appmanga 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn't explain it in that way.
Affinity is where people feel like they have things in common and are on the same wavelength. Even though we're told "opposites attract" people tend to like people who are like them. "Connection" is a product of affinity. If a person believes you see them as they see themselves and you share some similar qualities, that fosters affinity. Confidence is a trait that people tend to admire, and women admire confidence in a guy for lots of reasons, conscious and unconscious. So they do have an affinity for that, but that's a different use of the word and a different idea.
[–]computerstuffs 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I see, you could also try matching with their prominent emotion - eg if they're a nostalgic person youcbe one as well
Though you wouldnt know this if its your first time meeting them
[–]appmanga 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If it's a brief first meeting, no, but on a date or an extended conversation (like 10 minutes) you need to take the opportunity to be curious enough that you can tap into what you can learn. Learning to quickly synthesize what you see and hear so that you can make it work for you is an important part of establishing connection. And if you read a few dating threads and other sites you'll see the the phrase "but there was no connection" over and over. Guys waste time trying to think of clever lines or some grand gesture to make an impression when it's about making a "connection".
Even something like matching a "prominent emotion" is going to Mt. Everest when you can do alright just climbing a hill. As you talk with more and more people you can start to pick up some "shorthand" about them. This is why if you're a person who feels you have difficulty making approaches you should practice conversing, and it doesn't have to (and should be) solely to women. You should talk with three strangers every day. Talk about the weather. Talk about the price of gas. Talk about traffic. Use those "small talk" topics as an opportunity to reduce your nervousness and increase your confidence. Conversation is like any other skill: it can be learned and you can get better with practice. And the thing that's most important is not just talking, but learning to listen and listen without trying to formulate the very next thing you're going to say. You'll learn how to follow up based on what you're hearing and not what you're thinking. After you become more comfortable, you can start practicing things like mirroring, which is effective in building affinity. You'll also find out people like to talk about themselves, and appreciate someone who actually listens and is curious about them.
I'm starting to write a novel, so I'll stop.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
laughter, and sexual tension.
[–]UnderstandingEvery44 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fear
[–]Seano16 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Trust
[–]Environmental_Lie561 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Feeling seen
[–]Dr_Sigmund_Fried 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fascination
[–]peduxe 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just behave like I always do which is being a funny person.
[–]Pain_Tough 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Safety
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Make them feel really stressed then say, "Relax, you're doing fine." Then, surprise them with some acrobatic skills. Then finish it off with a story about how you used to get bullied for acrobatics in school, but you eventually grew into your confidence so that you could finally show her how you really move.
[–]Fate-in-haze 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Arousal, if its a woman Im attracted to, look up gunwitch method.
[–]chocolex23 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Happiness
[–]Mr_KenSpeckle 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you want to have sex with them, comfort is exactly wrong. Comfort is anti-seductive. Comfort is a dime a dozen.
First, you need to elicit something at the intersection of intrigue and scarcity. They have to wonder if they can have you and you have to seem like you’re actually worth having. You need only just enough comfort so they don’t think you’re going to murder them.
Well, you need to make them enjoy conversation as much as you do, and to get some interesting connection, so it would be worthy to pursue contact in the future. Also they need to feel comfort that you are respecting their time and opinions.
[–]VNF420 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Anger. Because I want to see the world burn.
[–]OutrageousFeedback 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wonder. I do this by showing them my best magic tricks. Sometimes the magic is too much for them and they have to go somewhere else to process what they saw
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[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]atomant88 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Contango6969 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]appmanga 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]computerstuffs 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]appmanga 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]computerstuffs 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]appmanga 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompetitionFair7686 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UnderstandingEvery44 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Seano16 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Environmental_Lie561 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dr_Sigmund_Fried 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]peduxe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pain_Tough 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fate-in-haze 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chocolex23 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mr_KenSpeckle 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]VNF420 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]OutrageousFeedback 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link