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[–]dolo1333 92 points93 points94 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Don’t think about it to much. She’s most likely trying to rationalize what happened. I would personally just go on with my life , she’ll text you soon enough
[–]cobraCL 3 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
She's definitely not disinterested, maybe a bit flustered and very anxious. 😉 For some people, developing feelings and being vulnerable is pretty scary! Exponentially so because she hasn't been in a relationship before. She has no clue what she's doing or what she's feeling, so those "cold feet" are trying to pull her back to the harbour of safety.
Cold feet or not, she wants you.
You overcome this by showing her consistency. Be warm and encouraging and inviting towards her, and she will sail to the stability you provide. When she comes back to you, take initiative and lead your interactions going forward. 😊
Good luck.
[–]rosyposy86 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is a really nice way of putting it! Should be top comment.
[–]cobraCL 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you kindly!
[–]sleepstages 45 points46 points47 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She is shy. She likes you, but has no idea how to act around you now. You'll have to really take the lead.
[–]Foreign_Medium_3766 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't over think, leads to mistakes
[–]sincere_blasphemy 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She definitely sounds interested, she's probably going through something in private or dealing with some anxiety related to the situation. I would ask her if she'd like to go out again and ask if everything is alright with her (nicely).
Ultimately, you cannot force her to go out or be with you. But You can show that you are here for her and like her a lot, hopefully she comes to you.
[–]Superb-End6273 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
First of all, it is work so I hope you know what your doing. Second, your a man right? Don't sit around contemplating on what she might be feeling or why she might be acting this way from afar go up to her and ask her directly. You need to value yourself... save your time, your attention, and your mind space.
[–]abandonliberty 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She's worried you'll fuck up her work life. Don't.
[–]deep2021 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Work on that she trust you more. Text her, sometimes it takes time. May be very confident intimidate her. Also make her know but not directly that whatever happens will stay between you and no one will know in the office. I hope you didn't tell anyone in the office
[–]l337joejoe 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She's shy, bro. Just go be sweet to her.
[–]throwaway927012 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
reddit user discovers shyness
[–]dump_fool 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
For context, she's only kissed two guys in her life before me and never had a boyfriend.
Yeah sure!
You should reassure her "I know we are coworkers, i guarantee you no matter what happens i will treat you professionally and respectful at work, and i expect the same thing." or something among the line.
[–]focus_flow69 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Basically say something like this and just continue to act normal at work, like you did before you made out. Except now you can look at her with more passing glances and smile or say hi a bit more enthusiastically than before.
Keep the romance primarily off work. This is likely what's bothering her if she is inexperienced with men and doesn't know how to navigate a work place romance while still being professional. It can be a lot for a shy reserved girl with no dating expeirnece.
[–]Ok-Hope-8521 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
There’s no way she could be that into you and suddenly lose interest in such a short amount of time so she probably just got cold feet. If I were you, I would pull her to the side after work and asks what’s going on. If shes very vague with her response, tell her to link up with you for a cup of coffee to clear whatever tension there is. Keyword “TELL”
[–]focus_flow69 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I would advise not to do this. This may be anxiety inducing as fuck especially if you did this right after work and for an already shy girl. You are basically putting her on the spot and will fluster her and seem needy as fuck because you are asking her to tell you what's up.
[–]zisehuar 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agreewith focus_flow. People have their own history and it definitely sounds like there's anxiety. She seems like a sweet girl and is not playing games by any means. It's just a bit overwhelming for her at this point due to the circumstances.
[–]Ok-Hope-8521 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Possibly, but if she turns down the offer he knows that there’s nothing to pursue and he can move on instead of twiddling his thumps in the corner hoping she comes around. It’s kinda like the friendzone, you wanna make your intentions clear before it’s too late. What if she loses interest in him, what if she finds someone else?
[–]focus_flow69 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree he should make his intentions clear, but just not in the way you described.
There are ways to make intentions clear asides from a direct verbal confrontation demanding a yes or no on the spot.
[–]Liprubber -4 points-3 points-2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Call her out on her mixed signals and tell her you will be at xyz place and she is welcome to join you. If she bails cut all contact.
[–]Party_Gas_5343 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You gotta be proactive, make a move
[–]zisehuar 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your hike idea is great. Stay on it, it sounds like you're a good man. She likely has experienced things in the past (trauma; like many of us) that cause her behavior. Just give her time and stay patient, she will need a lot of it to establish trust.
[–]spacemangoes 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Either you are a bad kisser or she’s not that into you. Don’t confront!! Give her some time time and space and let her come to you. Meanwhile, move on with your life and just smile when you see her at work. Ps. This is why we don’t shit where we eat.
[–]ImAGhostOooooooo 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There's always a chance the kiss was bad and now she's not interested 😬
[–]r1bb1tTheFrog 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why was this removed. Seemed totally benign.
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[–]dolo1333 92 points93 points94 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cobraCL [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]rosyposy86 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cobraCL 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleepstages 45 points46 points47 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Foreign_Medium_3766 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sincere_blasphemy 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Superb-End6273 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]abandonliberty 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]deep2021 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]l337joejoe 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway927012 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dump_fool 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]focus_flow69 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ok-Hope-8521 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]focus_flow69 11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]zisehuar 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ok-Hope-8521 -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]focus_flow69 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Liprubber -4 points-3 points-2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Party_Gas_5343 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]zisehuar 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]spacemangoes 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ImAGhostOooooooo 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]r1bb1tTheFrog 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link