How can I make better moves when we’re both laying in bed together but she’s on the edge about sex?

twinkie_doodle · 2022-08-03T13:02:31+00:00

I mean I think the key thing you're missing is she's a long time friend. Probably between the time you guys skinny dipped and started making out on the dock, she didn't think through much what she was doing, just went with the flow. But that break between making out and going back to the room together, she had time to process everything and maybe started thinking it was a mistake/you're risking your friendship/realized she has feelings that complicates things. I think by that point her thoughts were probably very scattered and she wanted to stop to have time to think. You should ask her how she's doing and what she thought about the experience. Be honest with her that you enjoyed it, and would like to have it happen again if she's down. Mention something about the friendship (do you want a relationship with her? Are you scared about risking losing your friendship? Are you just wanting to fuck?) If you open up about your feelings she likely will too. And she may reject it! She may want things to stop, and move past it. You have to be ready for anything.

cyrusm_az · 2022-08-03T11:45:10+00:00

Somewhere else on Reddit there’s a thread, “I made out naked on the dock and even went to bed with him naked and he wouldn’t make the move and didn’t have sex with me, he must not want me”

TheProMxn · 2022-08-03T05:45:05+00:00

Maybe try take her hand hold it together and then say doesn’t that feel good and go in for a kiss

atomant88 · 2022-08-03T05:45:42+00:00

how did you end up cuddling in the bed with no sex? you skipped a step man

work on your verbal game. seduce her with your words. work on your sensual game; backrubs and foot massages are your friend. work on your sex talk; get her in the mood. make sure youre building intimacy. and make sure youre asking for consent before you touch her so she feels respected, and knows you have communication skills and confidence.

this sounds like a huge lack of fundamentals dude. these are really basic things.

obviously youre doing something right to get to this position. but go back and review the basics. signal intent, build attraction, escalate with consent. if she's saying 'no' then you havent built enough attraction, trust, and intimacy

AdhesivenessRecent89 · 2022-08-03T07:25:46+00:00

She’s keeping you in the friend zone, mate. Honestly, your moment was at the dock, naked, making out. Putting it in was then and there. You’re game is on point. Your timing is off. Take that leap, hombre. If she doesn’t want it, she doesn’t want it. Move on.

itsnickp · 2022-08-03T16:38:28+00:00

There’s a concept (i might not get all the details right) but it’s about indications of interest and disinterest. If she communicates either physically or verbally that she’s disinterested, you do the same. It’s a dance. She pulls away, you pull away and wait. She shows interest after that by touching you somehow, pull her in to you. Went too far and she started to pull away? Back off a bit. Never act hurt. Almost be indifferent with the disinterest as though you really couldn’t care less. With the indications of interest, always escalate to the next level. Not 1000 level jumps at once though.

great_account · 2022-08-03T06:45:44+00:00

In my experience, if you kiss her right, she will get wet and want to fuck. Don't be in a rush to do the deed. Chill, enjoy the make out. Kiss her neck. Nibble on her ears. Reach under her shirt. Touch her slowly. It has to take some time before she'll feel comfortable and horny enough to do it, but when you do it right, she'll jump on top of you.

prime_pineapple · 2022-08-03T18:21:48+00:00

I’m going to give you the best advice I’ve ever got, when your in a position like that grey areas suck so just be blunt “do you wanna keep going” “what do you want to do now” “can I Fuck you?” Or some variation of that, because if it’s a no it was always going to be a no and if it’s a yes now you have verbal consent and no confusion on what they want to do. It’s never wrong to ask

junkfoodlover · 2022-08-03T15:11:31+00:00

I think the mistake was made when you left the dock. During the time to get back to the room, it probably hit her that she was maybe making a mistake since you guys are friends.

hermitnerd1 · 2022-08-03T21:52:14+00:00

Just stick the the classic, “start making out and slowly start feeling her up, tits, ass, thighs, and then pussy, all while making out. Or start making out then move to the neck, also some women like ears played. Seriously

Professional_Base117 · 2022-08-03T12:15:00+00:00

Do ……absolutely…….. nothing.

If you get pushy she cud call sexual assault.if she wants to have sex she will have sex yIf she doesnt ,she wont.

Quick_Watercress_932 · 2022-08-03T11:38:49+00:00

Give her the space she needs, she will respect you for honoring her wishes. If you want to have sex ask if she wants to have sex and that should be the end of the problem. “She didn’t say no out loud” isn’t a yes and any yes you get after you’ve tried to convince her to change her mind from “no” will be disingenuous. Women want to be wanted but they don’t like to be questioned about how they feel when they are certain and they definitely don’t like men they have to babysit.

Ambitious-Ice2357 · 2022-08-03T18:08:47+00:00

If you can’t close after being naked and lying in bed together, then you’re doing something wrong.

ListenFar8633 · 2022-08-04T00:50:55+00:00

Literally just ask. Ask her if she want to make out when the moment feels right, and go from there. It’s all about escalating to the next level of horny action. Beyond that if she isn’t interested, just let it go.

akzudil · 2022-08-04T03:38:08+00:00

dude ask if they’re alright with it. literally just talk about it.

Subject-Craft5870 · 2022-08-03T07:32:21+00:00

Slow down

SadSniper · 2022-08-03T22:38:27+00:00

She is cold and doesn't realize that its a two player game.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-08-03T10:54:34+00:00

Kick her out. It's better to go play video games or masturbate than to deal with this BS. You are all so afraid you will offend some chick who isn't even willing to fuck you. Like you could get less sex from her.

21383029582873 · 2022-08-03T05:49:30+00:00

wouldn’t reciprocate?

like said “no” or just didn’t move?

just keep going if latter: once you start sucking on the nipples you’ll get a reaction

xabimomogerrardmasch · 2022-08-03T09:42:47+00:00

If she’s on the edge of the bed, let her head hang off the side and hit that shit.

babyarmnate · 2022-08-03T23:05:47+00:00

You don’t. If she doesn’t want to have sex, don’t have sex.

Justwatchinitallgoby · 2022-08-04T05:29:47+00:00

Why you trying to fuck your friends? Seriously?

Often The best way to get laid is not care if you do or not. You did the right thing here by accepting her lack of response to your move.

Southofsouth · 2022-08-04T12:59:39+00:00

Grab her hand. Put it on your dick.

Superb-End6273 · 2022-08-05T20:21:30+00:00

If she's on the edge about sex your probably too far ahead and impatient. There is mental side of sex so you have get her comfortable and make her feel like she could be vulnerable around you. This is because sex is the most vulnerable position a human can be put in and when they reach their climax that's basically them releasing and opening up. However, it has to happen within her mind first. Same would apply to you... if you weren't comfortable and felt on edge you'd probably struggle just letting go. This is the reason why some men just can't get hard at the moment and why some women just can't get wet at the moment.

Also to address your story some girls are fine with just making out however when you try to have sex with them that is a big jump. So, comfortability and interest are key factors here for you and her.

Title	How can I make better moves when we’re both laying in bed together but she’s on the edge about sex?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	132
Comments	53
Date	August 3, 2022 5:38 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wey617/how_can_i_make_better_moves_when_were_both_laying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-make-better-moves-when-were-both-laying.1252944 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252944

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