[deleted by user]

atomant88 · 2022-08-03T04:11:19+00:00

no matter what you do someone will think you are a creep, and someone else will think youre a stud

i always do basically the same approach. and sometimes i get a very strong, and rude, negative reaction. but sometimes the exact same approach has a very strong positive reaction. and most of the time its somewhere in the middle.

thats just life.

pickup is about finding your audience. but you cant do that without disqualifying those who are not into you. thats part of the game.

just learn to ignore the rejections and move on with your life. focus on the positives. each rejection brings you closer to someone who will be crazy for you

helpMeOut9999 · 2022-08-03T04:56:14+00:00

You will be a creep if you have energy of a creep. Check this list:

Nervous and meek

Shifty eyes

Fidgety and shifty

Unconfident

Non-trendy clothes

Ugly shoes

Unstylish hair

Ugly facial hair

Smell poorly (or not at all)

Body is in bad shape

Stuttery and trouble finding words

Misleading intent

Indirect (fail to show your intent immediately)

If you check any of these, fix it. These are all fixable. If you demonstrate these, yes a girl is going to be excited that you are gone when the exchange is over and block your number.

This sub leads you to believe that if you approach girls all the time that you will eventually land one - it's not true. If you don't continuously improve and adjust you will just be bad forever.

People think it'd a numbers game. Yeah yeah if you do it on 100 girls maybe you will get 1 or 2. Who the hell is actually going to do that?

And put in the leg work. Start small. Just say HI to a girl. Strike up a conversation with a waitress. If you can't do that, no random girl on the street wants to talk to you unless you are an 8 out of 10 (which i doubt).

You have to be pleasant, non-threatening and interesing/mysterious. Otherwise you are just a bum asking for change.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-08-03T12:49:58+00:00

Mate. Creepiness is an attitude. You need to think of what makes girls feel creeped out which requires you to develop social intelligence.

if you just say hi and start asking questions without explaining why you are asking a stranger so many questions, that is creepy.

Why?

Because asking questions for no reason to someone random could mean they are interrogating you or trying to find where you live or where you usually spend time with in order to rob you, or kidnap you, or rape you or anything like that.

The lack of knowledge about why you are doing this is what creeps out the women, because they have to assume what hidden intentions you could possibly have and they will always think of the worst possible intentions.

So in order to avoid having them jumó to the the wrong conclusions about your intentions you need to specifics what intentions you have before you start asking questions, you need to tell them:

“Hey, look i saw you and i know this is confusing but i just couldn’t help but notice how cool of a style you got… So i thought to myself, i wanna meet this girl to see if i like her personality as much as her looks, because if i don’t do it now, i would likely not see her again and regret it. Is that cool?”

There you ask for consent by asking “is that cool?” (which is essential to avoid coming across as creepy), you explained your intentions with her (meet her to see if you like her personality, aka hitting on her) and why you have them (because you like her style), and showed her that you understood how she must be feeling (i know this is confusing) due to your random approach.

All of these things eliminate “the creepy vibe” from your approach because it’s respectful and you asked for consent, which means that the girl doesn’t feel pressured as you have given her the option to reject the approach in a way that isn’t too confrontational.

Compared that to you saying:

You: Hi”

Her: Hi?

You: “You live around here?”

Her: Mmm no?

You: So where do you live?

Her: Why do you wanna know?

You: Just curious

Notice how creepy this conversation is? A random stranger asking this personal questions for no explained reason is creepy because you don’t know if he is planning to kidnap you, rob you, sexually assault you, or anything…

It’s not clear that he just wants to get to know her because he likes her, because it’s a cold approach which she isn’t used to. So you need to be super clear about your intentions and the reason you have to have those intentions, use empathy, ask for consent, and give her an easy way out.

whitepillman · 2022-08-04T04:05:58+00:00

Approaching is not creepy. Approaching creepy is creepy. Start by approaching EVERYONE. Guys, girls, old people. Get comfortable with it and you will see most people don't mind being approached. It's HOW you do it and what you say. Don't startle them. Don't trap them (like on a bus or train). And don't open with something weird or too forward. Outside of that, your fears are way overblown.

FranciscotheBull · 2022-08-04T12:01:44+00:00

We all have a form of not wanting be rejected and paralysis by analysis when approaching a woman. Just have enough condifence to approach a woman and start a conversation. If she says no, your life didn't go up in flames. I think people are recognizing that some women (not all) put guys on blast just just for attention, likes on social media, and wanting some form of attention/clout, but we as a society see what they film and post and makes them look bad instead of the guy. As hard as it is, don't worry about looking bad if they record you. If you are not acting out, being immature, and being appropriate when talking to her, you won't have to worry about it.

Lots of guys go through this so don't be so hard on yourself. Just have to broaden your scope of people to talk to, approaching and talking to women in general, and not burning any bridges.

potatoeswithfries · 2022-08-03T07:10:06+00:00

As Paul Janka once wrote:

You are never “bothering” a girl by hitting on her. Remember that it’s your duty as a man to engage the opposite sex and initiate contact. Don’t get into thinking you’re being intrusive, she will let you know.

Also, saying anything does come with the slight risk of creepy. In fact, there is no way to avoid creepy. You want to embrace awkwardness and risk creepy.

cronasminate · 2022-08-03T04:50:20+00:00

This is why reading body language is crucial when approaching. I do a lot of approaches and I can tell right away if something's up and I just bail no questions asked. Waste of time and not worth the risk to try and convince a girl who's even a little bit bothered. Just move on to the next.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-08-03T10:57:39+00:00

You need to substitute this thought with a thought that will call out the lie and be 100% truthful at the same time. A good one will be "I have no way of knowing for sure if this girl will like me or reject me and there is only one way to know for sure bar being able to read her thoughts. And since I don't want any regrets, I will go and talk to her and find out how she feels".

2022-08-03T11:07:06+00:00

Read her body language, if she keeps turning her eyes and body away from you, she moves elsewhere, she does not smile, she is very much occupied with what she is doing - it is most likely a lost battle from the beginning. Just stay casual and natural, and be respectful.

distawest · 2022-08-04T07:12:29+00:00

Smile! Smile is the passport that unlocks all hearts ... But avoid the fake smiles of politicians

Practice in front of a mirror if possible

dobbs1997 · 2022-08-05T17:34:39+00:00

learn to be secure with who you are, know who you are & step up to these women like whether or not they say yes you’ll be just fine. Cause like one of the commenters say, there’s always gonna be some that think you’re creepy, & some that don’t, but yea just as soon as you see them go say what up, don’t be hovering around them like a scared mf. lol

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	25
Date	August 3, 2022 4:03 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wewddi/im_so_afaraid_of_being_a_creep/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1252947 https://theredarchive.com/post/1252947

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