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[–]FreedomWooden8605 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Day game 80% Night game 20%
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
How do your interactions in cold approach usually go from start to finish? Can you write what your typical opener is what they say to it how you continue the conversation, how does she continue it, until it ends? Like how the entire typical dialogue goes?
Cuz that helps to see if you got game or you don’t in an objective way.
[–]FreedomWooden8605 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I have tried all types of openers: direct, indirect, semi direct.
I usually do: 1. Open good vibe, smiling, confident, good fashion, good body language 2. Assumption, cold read, tease 3. Get to know questions about each other 4. After the hook, continue connecting, discover something we can do together, coffee or drinks 5. Ok, “we can’t do it now, so let’s do it later, or another day, what’s your number ”, sometimes they offer their number 6. We can do it now -> instant date 7. Ghosting, flakes, nothing further
It goes on and on, until I just realized I will never be good with girls, it’s my looks, energy, ethical group, it does no matter!!!
I can’t change my life further, I am already on top of everything.
I am not enough for those girls, or cold approach is a lie.
I also don’t have any success in social circles or dating apps, so likely it’s more about me.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
So based on that you are missing 2 very important things:
“Qualification, and sexualisation”
You are not creating any sexual tension at all with this girl due to lack of sexual flirting”
And you are not getting the girls to prove their worth to you and impress you, due to lack of qualification.
So basically your approaches all seem rather platonic and you do not make the girls feel anything, it all sounds like a conversation not much different from the ones you would have with your sister.
Assumptions, cold reads, tease are fine but that’s not all there is to it to truly make this interaction man to woman and making the woman feel the excitement, the anticipation, the desire, the fire so to speak.
Your focus should not be to get her number but to get the girl to feel the sexual tension… Not just talk and talk and talk about life and hobbies.
If you go on an instant date you should escalate things to a kiss at the very least, you need to stop playing it so safe and be willing to create sexual tension so that she wants to be kissed her ven if you just met her
[–]FreedomWooden8605 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I do the qualifications, sorry I forgot to add that.
Do you have examples of flirting, sexualization? And maybe some further qualification?
How can I make it man to woman then? I need some concrete examples
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
You need to insinuate your sexual intent subtly in order to build sexual tension, here is an example, let’s say you have been talking for some minutes so now that there is some rapport, you suddenly say:
You: “Christine, can I tell you something?”
Her: “Sure”
You: "You are the kind of girl i would invite over to watch a movie, and not watch the movie”
(Here you began to hint the sexual flirting)
Her: oh haha, and what would we be doing then?
You: Adult things 😏… You know? like paying rent, doing taxes…”
(Here you baited her with sexual flirting, but switched unexpectedly to other kind of adult things that aren’t related to sexual stuff, this is to relieve some of the sexual tension, and getting her to laugh… But at the same time she knows what’s up)
That’s a simple example of how you can make things more sexual with a girl without being a pervert.
You also need to use deep voice tonality, and body language gestures like biting your lip, and use physical touch.
[–]FreedomWooden8605 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
In a few minutes of conversation in a park 🤣?
I don’t go to clubs and night venues.
[–]CompetitionFair7686 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You should be talking at least for 5-10 minutes with her in the park. Otherwise there is no point doing daygame.
[–]FreedomWooden8605 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
✅ ok, it seems a little too soon to be sexual, I barely know her. I will try it.
[–]Lighthero34 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Then you should be going to clubs and night venues
[–]FreedomWooden8605 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No, I shouldn’t, I don’t like those. And this is not a healthy lifestyle
[–]Lighthero34 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well if you want women receptive to cold approach, you should do night game.
I would also consider online dating where you show off your money.
In addition, I would work on your physique.
[–]FreedomWooden8605 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Some guys say they do have success, and despite the ups and downs are able to get dates and even girlfriends. So, that’s why I still did not give up.
Almost everybody says: make your life interesting, good and work on yourself. Isn’t my life interesting, stable and cool? I don’t think becoming a millionaire is the way. I also don’t have that goal, it will take too long.
[–]Creepy-Storage-1786 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Since you got money seek out a decent coach.
[–]ReadyTelephone2395 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
plz dont do this.
[–]Creepy-Storage-1786 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
who broke your heart
[–]ReadyTelephone2395 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
no one? Just dont want another guy getting scammed by these pickup guys.
[–]FreedomWooden8605 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I live in Berlin, Germany. Who is a good coach?
Sometimes I feel like I am free of girls, especially when I am finding happiness on other things, like work, dancing Salsa, playing music, working out, etc.
My life is cool, I am starting to truly believe I am better off without a girl, and most girls don’t deserve a guy like me. Most people live boring lives…
I can travel anytime I want I am young, healthy I have friends you probably will never have: artists, dancers, singers, business people
Whatever the reason is for girls to not be attracted to me, why should I mind, they probably don’t deserve to be part of my life.
[–]Optymistyk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
Sounds familiar to me
[–]FreedomWooden8605 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
Do you think there is a solution, or I need to find a way out?
[–]Optymistyk 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (15 children) | Copy Link
I'm looking for a solution outside of pickup. After all the failures I got trying to follow the common guru advice I decided it's either just not working for me or it's a bunch of bs aimed at selling books and courses to desperate men
I do think I'm getting more dates since I changed my approach. But I don't feel confident enough yet in my ability to claim that what I'm doing is the right way.
If you're interested to read my ramblings anyway, feel free to PM me.
[–]FreedomWooden8605 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
What’s your story? For how long are you doing approaches? You never got any results? What’s your plan now?
[–]Optymistyk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
I haven't been counting, but I think it's safe to say I had been doing it for about a year too. From all that effort I got one sloppy ons and a few dates that went nowhere or that ended up with the girl ghosting me. Eventually I had an actual mental breakdown from all the rejection and loneliness (+ other things). I'm still taking anti-depressants and going to therapy.
By accident I recently met a guy who is an actual god with women. Imagine pulling 3 hot girls a week, without even doing cold approach or all that other guru stuff. He's not rich, muscular, famous or exceptionally handsome. He makes it look so easy, like he's barely even trying. And he's just 17. So, obviously I made friends with him and I've been trying to copy what he's doing, and this is my plan
[–]FreedomWooden8605 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
It seems lime he is doing something very different! What’s one thing he is doing differently that you noticed? What’s his mindset? How old are you? And thanks for sharing!
[–]Optymistyk 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
In short: 1. He's always the best dressed man in the room 2. He is a master flirt. Very playful and subtle. 3. He seems to have a very different mindset to that of a PUA. The PUA mindset is that "results matter", aka sex or it doesn't count. His mindset is that he just enjoys flirting with cute girls and making them blush and giggle. He really seems to enjoy it. He never pushes for sex and if he doesn't feel chemistry or if the girl bores him he just walks away on his own. To him if he's not feeling good with the girl right away then there's no point in talking to her
And that's basically it, no gimmicks, no secret techniques. Just very strong basics and a good mindset. It would seem to me there's nothing special about what he is or what he has, rather it's just the way he makes women feel that makes him so attractive.
I'm 25 btw
[–]FreedomWooden8605 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I don’t really have patience with women… what’s the point of flirting ? I wanna learn how he actually enjoys just flirting… this could be the solution, learning to enjoy the process.
I honestly prefer to just learn a new song or learn to dance more and better than talking to girls, or going on dates.
Women are too complicated, I want a way of stop wanting them 😅
[–]Optymistyk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I don't know if it's possible to stop wanting them. You'd forever be dissatisfied
For him flirting is the point of flirting. And sex is just advanced flirting. The guy literalry can't be rejected. He can't be rejected because there's nothing he wants from the girl. He is just having his own fun and it's like he's inviting her to play with him.
Women are cute. They're tiny, big-eyed, constantly anxious and worried over some small things, they dress in silly ways and paint their faces, looking for attention, they seem defenseless and almost innocent. I always saw women a bit like I see children. Children, like women, can be fucking mean. But they're still cute. You wouldn't act so serious with a small child, you'd be playful and lighthearted. So be playful.Try to notice something cute about her and bring it up in a playful manner. Not because you want to have sex with her, because you really think she's cute and you want to see her blush
[–]FreedomWooden8605 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Ok, the man is out just to have fun, and that’s it.
Let’s see if I can find a way to have fun when I am out. The thing is I am a NOT a night person(I don’t wanna be), I just go out during the day for the approaches, the rest is just working out, doing Yoga, dancing Salsa.
Where are you guys going to meet girls?
[–]Optymistyk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
He is actually meeting almost all girls just by living his life - through friends, through school, through work. He doesn't ever really seem to need to cold approach. You go to salsa and yoga classes, there's probably a whole bunch of women there. Have a chat with one after classes. And try not to stress. The point is you should be having fun. You don't have to get her number, to impress her, to set up a date, to compliment her - nothing. Maybe she starts laughing a lot at your jokes, tell her you think she's very cute when she laughs. Call her Giggles. If you're feeling bad at any point tell her it was nice meeting her and just leave. It's OK
[–]FreedomWooden86051 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I tried, but usually gets nowhere. I may be doing something wrong. Sure! In the Salsa parties yes, I chat a bit with girls, but there is never any interest from any girls. They don’t engage in the conversation.
Maybe it’s because I just want to fuck them? Or I want something from them, perhaps there is a way to start not wanting anything. But the problem is: why would I even talk to them?
Because you think they're cute. And it's fun and exciting to flirt with cute girls. If you don't think they're cute, and you don't want to flirt with them, then why would you want to have sex with them? At that point just order a prostitute. For a guy who earns 6 figures, I'm sure you can afford whores.
... But that's not what you want, is it?
I think maybe they didn't want to talk to you because you seemed stressed and like you're forcing yourself. Or maybe they could sense you expected something from them. Try to JUST have a chat. It's 100% okay to have a chat and not sleep with the woman. You don't even have to flirt if you're not feeling it, just have a friendly chat and get comfortable talking to women. That would be step 1
[–]FreedomWooden86052 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
No, I don’t want prostitutes. You are right. I will see if I can just chat with them, and on purpose leave the interaction without anything. Maybe having fun is what I need.
I have to admit I am a goal oriented person, it’s difficult to just have a chat for the sake of nothing. But ok, I will try my best.
[–]Optymistyk2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Great, maybe you can make some female friends, it's always good to have more friends. And if you're feeling bored or disinterested in them at any point - remember it's ok to just say goodbye and walk away
I have a lot female friends, I don’t wanna fuck them, they are great girls, but not attractive, I need some more attractive female friends 😂
Yeah, yeah, I am very social by the way, I am mot an extreme case, my problem is in my dating life. Everything is fine.
I don’t care about money it just keeps coming, and I have a lot, maybe that’s why your friend does it well with girls. He does not really do anything, it just happens
Exactly, less is more
[–]revente1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Daygame or nightgame?
[–]hawkeye7120 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Just wondering how you do with online dating apps?
[–]FreedomWooden8605 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No matches, I even hired a professional photographer
[–]hawkeye7120 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I do well with OLD. PM me your profile and I’ll take a look and see what’s going on.
What’s the best way to contact you? Email?
[–]hawkeye7120 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pm me
[–]FreedomWooden8605 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sure, some fat and old girls 35-40 years old that are boring as hell want to go on dates on me
[–]jumanjilol16 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Can I ask you, what language are you using? I know it’s Berlin and most of them speak English but I’m curious
[–]ReadyTelephone2395 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cold approach inefficient af.
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Reach out if you're looking for help.
Yes, I d like help, what’s the best way to be in touch?
[–]CocoBabeNYC 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Read my post about shifting paradigms. You are stuck in the wrong one. You are still chasing women and trying to please them and impress them so they can choose you. That's not the way to do it at all. You will likely resist my philosophy because you are attached to the idea that if you give up trying to chase it means you have to give up whatever little chance you have with women anyway.
Can you send me your post?
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hire a coach if you got money.
[–]jaypb182 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I honestly don't believe this. You must be incredibly ugly, dirty or something you're not mentioning.
[–]FreedomWooden8605 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I have dated the most beautiful women. I am not ugly. Something else is the blocker
[–]jaypb182 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, it's hard to say. I'd have to be there and see how you interact with them, maybe there's something there. 0/700 seems way too impossible, at least a handful of dates should come from that also considering how promiscuous Berlin is.
A bit unrelated, but which photographer did you hire for your dating apps pics? I also need to take pictures and would like someone who knows what they're doing and knows cool spots around the city that would make great pics.
[–]FreedomWooden8605 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You love Berlin, right?
[–]jaypb182 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sure, I live here. What does that mean?
[–]FreedomWooden8605 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t hate anyone, don’t hate women.
A friend of mine, Took pics of myself
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[–]FreedomWooden8605 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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