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[–]norwegiandoggo 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Everything matters. But it's most beneficial for your own sanity to focus on the things you can change. Worrying about things you can't change will hurt your confidence and mental health - which also makes you less attractive.
[–]Awkward_Management28 -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Yes I think surgery might have more benefit then game tbh and a good body to complement the face, but now I’ll focus on making money, get a good body and learn some social skills
[–]norwegiandoggo 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Surgery can go right or it can go veeeerry badly. I don't recommend it. Expensive too. Imagine what else you could buy with that kind of money. Around the world trips, luxury prostitutes. You name it
[–]Awkward_Management28 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m not saying I’m gonna do surgery but it’s just there in the back of my mind
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Depends if surgery can make u happy it and change your life it’s worth the risk
[–]norwegiandoggo 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
Unlikely. You are actually at a major risk for it making your life worse and leading to a bad outcome.
Read from the author's evaluation after this meta-study on outcomes from plastic surgery:
Factors associated with poor psychosocial outcome included being young, being male, having unrealistic expectations of the procedure, previous unsatisfactory cosmetic surgery, minimal deformity, motivation based on relationship issues, and a history of depression, anxiety, or personality disorder. Body dysmorphic disorder was also recognized by some studies as a predictor of poor outcome, a finding reinforced by reference to the psychiatric literature. The authors conclude that although most people appear satisfied with the outcome of cosmetic surgical procedures, some are not, and attempts should be made to screen for such individuals in cosmetic surgery settings.
Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1762095/
In other words. If you're young, male, and you're doing plastic surgery to get better relationships with women, and you're currently not happy, you are at the highest risk of a bad outcome socially and psychologically after surgery. The author's suggest these men should therefore be screened for, and probably not receive plastic surgery.
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Okay then escourts are better but and if I’m not confident with my face I could wear mask and glasses and get a good body but I think I may not need to do that a mask but if nothing then I’ll do that
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Is it possible that you have facial dysmorphia? I would talk to a therapist if I were you. Your statements concern me
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I mean it’s not me that don’t like me it’s people
[–]norwegiandoggo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
How do you know this?
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I see it everyday micro expressions people don’t smile back some do most don’t
[–]norwegiandoggo1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
That's not proof of anything. People don't smile back at me either. They might even look at me rudely if I look at them. I really really really recommend you see a therapist. I am quite concerned by your statements. I have been in therapy myself and I think your self image is quite possibly severely distorted.
[–]Awkward_Management281 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I did do therapy they don’t understand the problem
[–]CompetitionFair7686 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nothing is everything, but most guys have no game. You probably don’t have game, typical from guys like you to approach a woman and have super generic conversations that feel mostly like an interrogation mat best, question after question after question, and also giving logical answers like “yeah I study medicine, in 20 years old, i work at a factory, i go to the gym sometimes, i like going to parties with my friends and you look nice”
Most guys conversations with girls are awefuk sure if you are good looking you can get away with bad game, but the results would be even better if you actually had game and knew how to stand out with conversation.
[–]MissionAd399 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You have no confidence
[–]Awkward_Management28 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When i look in the mirror I see a model dat doesn’t change anything
[–]Visualize_ 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (31 children) | Copy Link
Ok let's simplify it for you. If you don't have a good face what are your options. Working out can change your face a little bit (sometimes dramamtically if you are overweight) but that also takes time. So are you just going to cry you weren't born with elite face genetics or are you going to wait 1 or 2 years so that results from working out start to show?
Fuck no that's stupid as fuck. Upping your style is a short term win anyone can improve literally immediately. If you are so caught up in things you literally cannot change like height and race as limiting beliefs you are just going to stay being a loser because that's a losers mindset. In reality does height make game easier? Yes. Does it mean you can't get girls because you aren't over 6 feet? No, and that fact is all that matters.
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link
Bro I’m trying to convince myself it’s not over for me and I’m trying not to get jealous but it’s hard If I get a pt and get a good body I still have a average face don’t girls or people in general spend time looking at the face in conversation than body like I’m a man and I prefer a girl with a average face and big back big chest any day but girls prefer the good looking face and they don’t care about I see girls that like skinny guys as along as they have a good face and a body is just a bonus but I don’t know if it’s gonna do much because there’s much evidence where girls choose face over body
[–]Visualize_ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link
Ok so there's 2 red flags with you. 1) you focus way too much on looks which screams you have very little self confidence. 2) you think human contact is like 99% based on looks, and primarily the face.
Do you really think whining that your face isn't as handsome as others will get you anywhere? You can't change your genetics, work with what you got. There are things you can do face wise, for example if you have acne then get a skincare routine or if it's bad then consider accutane. If it's really just like you dont have the desirable features like a chiseled jawline, guess what, most people don't have that. I'm not sure what else to tell you, hopefully you start realizing that you could be loved for whatever face you have or else you are going to be one lonely dude for the rest of your life
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (22 children) | Copy Link
I was bullied for my looks and I got so much negative reinforcement to the point complements don’t mean nothing so what do expect from me what positive attitude will come out of being bullied going home crying everyday and walk depressed crying with no friends no one liked me people wanted me to die I was a kid bullied made me eat tablets I can’t write this without crying
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
That's where inner game comes into play, that "look" Todd talks about is a look of confidence bro
I’m open minded to learn anything new but I’m trying to be hopeful and realistic at the same time if the look is more important than looks I disagree because it can disproven by just using tinder and catfishing the results are self explanatory. but as I said maybe I’m misunderstanding something I am trying to learn take notes but anxiety is pushing me back like waves pushing me back on the shores
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
The difference between tender and real life is you don't have a chance to use your charm or that look of confidence, it's only based off how photogenic you are
[–]Awkward_Management28 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I agree it’s only how good looking u are in the photo, but I don’t understand the look of confidence do u mean the way u walk/ body language or your muscle which can display confidence too I feel like a lot of dating coaches approaches are staged because i think cold approaches destroys your confidence if are not attractive enough but warm approach is more realistic that’s why I never cold approach I’m a virgin so I’m might not know alot correct if I’m wrong
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Cold approach is very hard at 1st, but It will build your confidence. Eventually you get desensitized to the rejection, but it is rough while your learning to deal with rejection. Muscles only help with outer confidence, you need to build that inner confidence that's what is attractive. To me these are the two main points of PUA coaches.
[–]Awkward_Management28 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Can’t you get ptsd from rejection imagine multiple rejections would’nt dat a negative reinforcement
[–]BostonWeedParty1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Once again you will build up a tolerance to reject. Honestly think about the rejections you've had so far, ya they felt bad, but how did it really impact your life? Did it change your core personality? No, did it kill you? No. All it did was make you feel bad, that's on you. Stop letting it affect you. Honestly it sounds like your trying to come up with excuses not to do something. The real question is do you want to stay the same? Are you happy as you are? Obviously not or you wouldn't want to improve, well change and self improvement is hard and it takes time and constant practice. So either suck it up and keep pushing forward or just quit and lay down and die. Sorry for being harsh, but you have no inner confidence and keep coming up with excuses not to do something.
[–]Awkward_Management282 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I agree I was watching too much black pill I know think like a black piller I feel brainwashed and convinced
[–]epimpstyle 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Todd is a Youtuber and he is selling a product, he can not tell the truth in his free videos he should make everything very complicated... if you want to know the truth pay for his product. You can not trust a Youtuber because he must create videos, everything he says is only partial, and the important things are missing.
He will approach many ladies because he must create regularly material for his youtube videos but you are not pushed from your back to approach a lady so you always postpone and you are waiting for the right moment that never appears.
You need pressure, a push from your back... a voice of a friend that keeps telling you in your ears and even screaming to you to go approach a lady otherwise he will approach that lady and you will see this happening every time, you are missing a chance but your friend has a collection of phone numbers that must have been yours because he told you to go approach that lady. After a while, you will be confident and you will go approach the girls and you will realize that it is the most natural thing in the world. This is what a dating coach will do.
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Or you could push yourself to go up and talk to them, try to find that inner discipline and try not to rely solely on others.
[–]epimpstyle 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (11 children) | Copy Link
Yes, but it might take ages to do everything alone, it is like reaching nirvana in yoga.
If you are alone you can not see your mistakes, you can not recover quickly from something bad, you have a different state of mind... that's why someone might help you.
Sometimes you need a kick in your a** to make a step forward... you just need that kick :-)
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Okay but I don’t have friends and if I buy the course it might be a scam dats why I’m just watching and reading free audio books
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Most things take time, it doesn't take ages. Each person's journey will take different amount of time. You can see your mistakes, it's call field review. People recover at different rates, but you can get yourself out of a bad or depressed mood, look up emotional mastery. Not to sound mean, but everything you listed is an excuse to procrastinate. Why can't you kick your own ass into gear? Don't rely on others to motivate you, others can't change you. You can only change yourself.
[–]epimpstyle -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
It is good that you have a different opinion, this is the beauty of life, there will always be exceptions to any rule.
It is no need to change yourself, you only need some motivation to go talk to girls - it should not be complicated.
I found a nice resource for OP https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX9F7U53v4Y
I feel like it's not the exception though. It is the rule. the change is confidence and his inner thoughts, that's what needs to change.
Yes I agree I need to approach and baby steps to densities myself but maybe I’m thinking about what could go wrong instead of what could go right
[–]epimpstyle1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It is easier if you do not have any expectations by approaching a girl, just ask her a question and leave.
Now is a problem because even if you have the question ready in your mouth, I know you have no balls to ask ... Here is what I'm saying, you need a friend to push you from your back to ask her the question because it is very difficult to do this alone.
A few weeks ago I was in town with a friend and a nice lady came out of a store in front of us. My friend tapped her on her shoulder and he quickly turned his back to her and he went away, so I ended up with the girl looking at me.... well... it was an interesting and unexpected interaction :-)
You can do everything alone too but it is not that easy.
I can ask girls for direction I done before by myself I only done 2 or 3 times by myself maybe I if increase the volume dat would be better
Well.. next time ask for a building/street which is in the direction where she is going. Now you have a reason to walk and talk to her for a few minutes.
Ohh like she’s going to study or something then ask about whether it’s the correct building or something then walk with her to the building?
I’m not good at long conversation I like to keep things short unless she’s a talkative person
I don’t friends I find hard make friends I had a friends they were just using me for money it’s sad
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Of course I will fix my body because I am skinny fat and it looks weird my main problem I think is jealousy
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Jealous of who? Not sure what country your in but most Americans are 40 pounds over weight, meaning most people here are chubby or skinny fat. So your average, try to focus on your inner confidence.
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
But I don’t think I’m average I’m more on the ugly side but I’m not sure tbh but inner confidence only come from positive reinforcement and outcomes
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
No inner confidence comes from you, positive reinforcement comes from outside factors (outter confidence) I think you're confusing the two still. You telling yourself you might be ugly or you're not sure is weak inner confidence. These will sound odd but for almost a year I had to tell myself I was hot AF in the mirror every morning. Yes I didn't always believe, sometimes I didn't even want to say it. But I would force myself to say it in the most confident voice I could muster. It really did work for me. And it all came from inside of me. Does that make more sense?
And I have a high pitch voice dat makes it worse
I probably need some consistent support in this journey because I’m finding it hard and mental health and therapist don’t understand my problem so
[–]Stujitsu2 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you want to bitch about height and face, you are bitching about shit you cant change. I am at a bar right now looking at a beautiful hottie holding hands with an ugly midget. Get out of your own way.
[–]electrisio 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Most men can improve their looks through style. Google Calvin Harris before and after. However, it is an unfortunate truth that SMV is defined by uncontrollable factors. Nonetheless, I think most people could surprise themselves if they put in 100% effort over years of time to levelling themselves up.
That’s more realistic dating coaches are tryna belittle looks and make game and style everything and give unrealistic expectations, style and social skills only work to make friends and for a girl to like u first u have to be her type or atleast some what attractive to her then with your game u impress her and she would like u but if a girl is repaulsed or uninterested she would’nt care if u have good style she would reject u if she likes your or game social skills she would be your friend nothing more there’s no magic word to make a uninterested girl interested except warm approach
[–]vardarac 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I think there's three camps.
Yes Girls as a certain infamous pua would put it - the "first u have to be her type",
No Girls, as you identify them - whose only consent to your advances is for your attention, with no interest or intent to actually get with you,
but then there's
\ 3. Maybe Girls, which is where game is intended to make a difference. You might just be average looking to her, but how you make her feel will make a difference in what she wants to do with you. Even some of us - maybe a lot of us guys experience that where we might not think a girl is super attractive but would love spending time with her if she's a great fun person to be around or totally dump because she's self-absorbed or vapid.
Wouldn’t that be more likely in warm approach where she knows u well, pua’make it seem like they just approach she’s impressed by his game then she sleeps with him very quickly
[–]vardarac 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yes, and most YouTube PUAs are trying to sell you something. At the same time I think it's important to not adopt a limiting belief on your approaches on the basis of how much easier appearances can make them
Spot on that’s why I find it hard to learn useful game/ good social skills
[–]The_Wandering_Nomad_ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Here ,,,,,,, ....... you might need a few of these.
I know I write fast and I don’t like writing
[–]Nullroute127 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't think you understood what Todd means in the full context. In every video I've seen of his where he talks about the 'look' he says looks matters, height matters, race matters, etc. However, in the context of pickup when you're in front of a girl you can't change any of that. Your 'look' involves a level of planning on advance that will give you success in the environment you're in, that makes you appear socially calibrated.
Todd is 5'7, kinda pudgy, and is showing some grey these days. His signature black V neck and jeans isn't anything particularly fancy, but it's part of his 'look' with the slicked hair, beard, etc.
Maybe I miss understood Todd but he said the look is more important than looks let’s ask tinder this question because results speak themselves there’s something called chad fishing
[–]Calamity__Bane 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Shut the fuck up clown
What I can’t express myself?
[–]shaggy2gay 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Todd V gets more pussy than 99.9999999% of male models and bodybuilders, listen to whatever he says
[–]iambrian81 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link
Most of your looks comes from your generic and low body fat. Clothing is like icing in the cake. Irs not going to improve your look that much. Not much you can do about your generic so just hit the gym and looks max.
I don’t know I think I look better with longer hair I don’t why but I do yes I agree gym max for confidence to get girls so dats what I’m doin but I don’t have much confidence in my face though
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
But if I had I would do fillers if not surgery
[–]iambrian81 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
Before you do any surgery, get a 6 pack first. If you get your body fat down to 10 percent and have decent muscle, like brad pitt in fightclub, you will automatically be more attractive than 90 percent of men in the country. EVeryone in america are fat.
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
I’m in the uk
[–]iambrian81 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Everyone in UK are far as well. I heard it’s the fattest country in Europe.
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
The average man is 83 kg in the uk yes getting muscle is always better I need to promise myself to stop watching black pill
[–]iambrian81 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Any pickup coach who doesn’t teach you to max your look is not a serious pickup coach. Get a low body fat and then use tinder. Your result would skyrocket. Pickup is significantly easier being a fit dude than a fat dude.
It’s basic sales. Selling a good product is a lot easier than a shitty one. Sales skills/pickup skills matters. But the product or your looks matters too.
I see in YouTube people say men care more about muscle and girl care more about your face and hight But I’ll take your word for dat
[–]iambrian81 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Putting all of the looks into your face is taking off responsibility to improve your own looks. If you are skinny fat and bitches about your look, its YOUR fault.
True but I can hide it in a hoody like coat for now then improve
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I agree 100 percent body fat because I’m overweight skinny fat for my hight and I don’t have much muscle to balance out my body but in my pictures I don’t look fat
[–]iambrian81 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
put your picture on photofeeler. if its not gettting at least a 9.5, then you have work to do. Get in the gym and looks max.
I got a 5
[–]iambrian811 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Every guy can easily get a 9.5 on photofeeler if they have brad pitt's body in fight club. Unless they are born with a grosteque unnaturally ugly face. IF they have an average face and brad pitts body, its good enough when combine with solid game to get most hot girls.
I don’t have broad shoulders
I do, because i hit the gym. No one is born with broad shoulders.
Thank you for giving me hope
It was a selfie
Are agree most aren’t jacked with 6 packs in the uk
Got to disagree, have a hot guy dress sloppy as fuck with no style. He might still pick up a girl or two, but he won't get stared at like he will if he dresses nice. It's shocking that guys think style matters so little
[–]iambrian81 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
A guy with 6 pack dress in a simple fitting white t shirt and a nice jean will have way higher smv than a fat or chubby guy in a suit. Every time. Your cloth isn’t going to hide your unfit body.
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Actually clothes can and do hide fat. That is literally a fact. They don't make you in shape and I said take the same guy, obviously an in shape dude will get more looks than out of shape. Take that same hot dude will get less looks if he dresses sloppy and more looks when he dress nice. Same with the out of shape dude. Also notice how you said nice jeans, that's still dressing nice isn't it. Never said you had to wear a suit, but yes women do go Gaga over guys in suits, but I almost never wear one and still dress nice.
[–]iambrian81 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Have a fat dude who wear awesome cloth, take a picture and post it on photofeeler. He’s going to get low rating. Girls on that site is brutally honest and will take you out of your blue pill fantasy.
[–]Major_BlackberryPNW 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
If you can make any girl blush and laugh. Your in! Smell is huge.
If you can not sound natural and seam to be putting on show. She will see right through you.
I’m not a good at acting but more time I don’t like talking to girls I just want to sleep dat would give me the validation dat I want, I don’t want a relationship I just don’t want commitment I’m not ready for break ups and also I don’t find much satisfaction with talking to girls if I don’t get to sleep with them
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[–]iambrian81 0 points1 point2 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]iambrian81 0 points1 point2 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]iambrian81 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]iambrian81 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]iambrian811 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Awkward_Management281 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]iambrian811 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Awkward_Management281 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]iambrian81 -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]BostonWeedParty 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]iambrian81 -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Major_BlackberryPNW [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Awkward_Management28 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link