~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]DickBillyJackson 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Man, if you don’t want to do it don’t do it. You’re going to be nervous as hell and that might just be the problem. You guys aren’t going to be comfortable because neither of you know what you’re doing yet. I lost mine to a friend’s older sister who I’m still in contact with 17 years later. We’ve joked about how awkward it was. No one’s first time is actually “mind blowing” because it’s the first time and unless you’re a sex prodigy you’re not going to be good at it. So if you want to, do it. If you don’t, tell her you aren’t comfortable with it.
And fuck what your friends think. It’s your penis, not theirs.
Granted, my friend’s sister and I hooked up again later in life and it was a different story completely. I walked away with bragging rights and she found out vaginal orgasms were real(I got lucky and hit the angle just right.)
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just tell her your not ready
[–]Kidamni 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The thing is I am ready, I just jumped in too quickly with this girl, that I really don't find all that attractive, because of an opportunity to have sex. Well anyways we've called it off for now, something that I'm kind of relieved of.
[–]MikeAlphaGolf 60 points61 points62 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Dude you’re 18. Any hole is a goal.
[–]FaithInStrangers94 46 points47 points48 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Au contraire; this is a pathetic mentality
Sex is about quality not quantity
Sex with someone you don’t find attractive or aren’t comfortable with is shit, rather go without - especially when you consider the risk of unwanted pregnancy and STDs and social repercussions and so on
And it engrains the wrong mindset where he’s the starving beggar and women are the grudging gatekeepers
[–]BasedBalwai 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Based. Based. Based.
Wasn't expecting such a grounded take in r/seduction of all places. 😅
[–]juampab_ 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Facts. I'd rather not have sex than have sex and it not being great
[–][deleted] 31 points32 points33 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m 30 and any hole is a goal
[–]Kidamni 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
In the end, she just doesn't feel right to me. But I am not putting it off the table, either.
[–]19Black 25 points26 points27 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Don’t listen to the above commentators. Any hole is not the goal unless you have low standards. If you have sex with women who you aren’t into or who otherwise don’t meet your standards, you’re likely going to have a bad time. Not only will your chances of performance issues increase, but you may suffer post sex shame, loss of confidence, and possible social stigma if your peers do not approve.
[–]Few-Solution3050 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Don’t listen to ANYONE saying any hole is/is not the goal OP. I’m personally somewhere in between in the sense that I’ll go for periods where I want stability and “good quality” sex and I’ll have periods where I’ll go out with the sole purpose of finding a ons (pre-covid obvs 🥲). I’ve also met guys at both ends of the spectrum and they all have valid arguments as to why they chose to stay at each end.
You do you op. If you want to have sex, go for it. If you don’t, then don’t. Simple as that.
[–]19Black 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
“Any hole is the goal” is about standards not choosing between a ONS and a relationship. OP can pursue sex, but doesn’t have to pursue sex with women he doesn’t want to just do he can have sex
[–]Few-Solution3050 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You literally rephrased my last part. I never mentioned standards.
[–]mabden 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You have to balance experience with desire. So you are not that interested in this girl other than ending your virginity. Ok.
Things to think about:
Respect. For the girl and for yourself
Sex. Make it as good for her as for you. Read The Sex God Method.
Regardless of the direction/outcome leave her better than you found her.
Live life large on your own terms with no regrets
[–]rqmak 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think your first sex should be with a girl you love and feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Just sounds right to me, so imma stick to this
[–]SummerEarly 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah if you’re not attracted to them or have some sort of connection never do it. That simple.
[–]what_it_do_bby 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sounds like you’re already overthinking it, usually it never ends well. Also, don’t listen to the people in this sub saying a “hole is a goal” have standards and be true to yourself. There’s nothing worse than fuckin some chick you don’t have a genuine desire for.
[–]panthus1 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well you can be direct to her, just tell her that you only in it for the experience and not for something more.
If you are concerned about the people in common text her in whatsapp or some other app and screenshot the discussion for the proof if things go south.
Honesty is always appreciated by many.
[–]kylomorales 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't just do it for the sakes of doing it. Especially when you don't find her that desirable. If she finds a that out she'll feel very used and betrayed and honestly it would be kinda messed up.
It's perfectly for you to change your mind and say "actually I don't think I want to go through with this". You don't even have to give a reason because that's how consent works. No one will judge you. No one will think less of you. You don't need to accelerate your way to sex it's not the be all and end all of life
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your first time is weird and you won’t amaze her so don’t think about it too much
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ok seriously? You're 18. This is the time when it's up to you to start figuring out what you're into or not. Despite other advice you've gotten on this post, I completely disagree that "any hole is a hole" and "it's all worth it for your personal experience". The holes are all connected to humans, who probably also want feedback the same as you do. Your partner is likely experiencing the same or similar feelings as you are. The best advice I could think to give, as an extremely sexual woman, is just don't do it if you're not into it. If you're not totally into the other person, just be honest before it gets to that point. Would it be more satisfying to have the easy sexual gratification as well? Of course. But how are you a better overall human and lover as you get older? I'll tell you. Just don't do it if you're not completely into that person. But if you're already in that situation, be completely honest. That's the only way.
[–]Kidamni 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good advice man, thanks.
[–]slash03 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m handicapped and in my middle 60s. I’ve had an amazing life, my one regret is not sleeping with every Woman that wanted me . Women are wonderful and beautiful things, be kind and caring and giving , Hold her in your arms and tell her your problems and she will have the right answer.
[–]Gearz557 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
If you don’t want it then don’t. Personally If I could live my life over again, I’d just get it over with. I was way too anxious about sex due to my virginity as I crept into my 20s. Put it on a huge pedestal waiting for the perfect one and ended up losing it to a friend while drunk lol. Don’t regret it. Anxiety was gone immediately after.
Have had some (and currently in)amazing relationships since and my anxiety wasn’t there to prevent them from forming (as it had when I was younger)
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Don’t be so picky once you finally get it you won’t mind railing an ugly one once and awhile. So basically you should smash this chick. You’ll be amazed the not so pretty ones usually have more passion and are more open.
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
Bad advice, don’t listen to this dude. I was 17 when I lost my virginity. I was picky af because I knew the first girl I fuck would be the girl that will always stand out amongst the many other girls I’ve fucked which I don’t know some of their names and I honestly stopped counting after 5. But the first girl is the girl you lose your virginity to, for the rest of your life that girl will be marked as your first. Set your standards high, I’ve had many chances to lose my virginity to multiple girls but I only settled for some sloppy top because I knew I wanted somebody who would be worthy to look back at when I lost my virginity. My advice, find a girl who is worth losing your virginity to. Not a girl to just lose your virginity to. You’re better than that. Do not settle for less than what you deserve king. I’m 20 years old now, I’ve fucked many girls. The girl I lost my virginity to at 17 was actually my first girlfriend as well. My standards are high af when it comes to dating, and I’ve only had 2 exes. Currently single by choice. Growth > company
Oh and also, you say you feel like you need to get it over with. Who is pressuring you? Nobody, take your time. You’re out of control, be a man and regain your power. You decide when it’s time, not some female who you obviously don’t feel comfortable with. Stay away from her, you know damn well there will be regret considering you’re writing a post about it.
Your future self will be proud of you for asserting your dominance to not give into a female that will have you feeling like shit because you rushed in like a soft little bunny wanting to take a sip from the pond full of crocodiles without looking around for better choices.
[–]what_it_do_bby 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Excellent advice. People in this sub usually talk some much nonsense. Quality > quantity.
[–]DickBillyJackson 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah. Nah.
I remember the first I was with because she was a friend’s older sister. That’s it. She didn’t set a standard(even though she was cute) and the sex was laughable. We’ve literally joked about it. That was 17 years ago and the only thing I even remotely remember is wondering if I was doing it right for the whole 32 seconds it lasted. That’s it.
When I met a woman who did set a “standard” I married her.
I see what you're saying. Man I just feel like it's about time to get some experience though. Because I've had some girls who were really attractive be into me, however those times it fell short, due to me reaching a certain point where I just became insecure about myself. That's why I sort of have this feeling of holding myself to higher standards, but still wanting to bang this girl.
[–]CaptainCanuck15 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But the first girl is the girl you lose your virginity to, for the rest of your life that girl will be marked as your first
What's the big deal? She's the girl who had sex with you when you were the worst you could possibly be at sex. I swear society fetishizes the first time for no reason. The only reason it's a big deal to you and so many other people is because you give too much importance for no reason at all.What's the big deal about playing basketball for the first time? You're at your worst and have nowhere to go but up. You know what is much more worthy of being remembered and glorified? The times where sex was awesome. Maybe that one time you managed to have sex with an older girl who had plenty of experience, or a time where the girl was really eager and willing to try some stuff.
Holding the first time in the highest regard is the sex equivalent of peaking in high school.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My first time I was 14 I got completely hammered and passed out in the back of my brothers car. I don’t remember much of it just I woke a few times and my girlfriend was ridding me. It was fucking awesome she made the decision for me. After that I was hooked did I marry that girl? Fuck no but I did appreciate her. I learned a lot from her the next few weeks then I moved on. Getting past the anxiety of the “first time” opened up a whole new world to me my confidence was through the roof and I went on tear through massive amounts of pussy during my high school years. When I finally met my wife I knew exactly I wanted in a woman thanks to my sluty first and the many others.
[–]BostonWeedParty -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ya the first girl I ever sleep with turned into a long term relationship, but guess what out of all my sex partners she doesn't stand out when I think about my sex life, in fact I kinda forget about her. Once you've had a lot of sex partners, it's easy to forget the bad ones. I'm 30 btw
[–]Fedetex 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe fuck her and play it cool, if you like it do it again. Some notes though
If she is into you and gets hung up on you, I mean you only fucked her once is not like you owe her anything. But then again you are 18 and she could get hurt (at this age most people are not mature enough for sexual relationships) so put it on the table first, that you only want sex.
Another thing. If you are worried about what your friend may say then you are definitely not ready for sex. Just own you thing man
[–]MattPruga -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you will regret it after a few days if you rejected her, take this chance to learn new stuff
[–]sheefMoses -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Is she that bad? Maybe she can become very attractive in the future. I lost a lot of sex opportunities just because what others think in my group of friends. Today I’ve 23 and my circle of friends is different… so my advice is don’t give a fck about what others think. If you want to, do it.
[–]oktwonight -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe she’s just mercy fucking you Maybe it’s a bet she has Maybe it’s a dare Maybe she’s the wildest thing you’ll ever have Maybe if you don’t you’ll ruin her for the next guy
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dude any experience you have us a good thing, it will only make you learn and improve your sex...its better to fuck up with this one than a 10/10
[–]Sensitive-Permit-877 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This comes down to how you feel about YOUR morals and upbringing. Some guys choose abundance some want quality only. Thats a choice you need to make and live with. So maybe hang with her and she might become attractive to you. Dont give her all your time but give her some open time you have. Coffee whatever. If its not feeling it thats cool. She will respect you way more ( she wont say it ) if you let her down from hanging then if you bang her and dump her. How would you feel if a chick banged you and then told you nah not feeling it. Plus she will tell her friends we hung out but he said no not feeling it. You will have much respect. Either choice you make thats up to you
[–]SomebodyToldMe2 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why do you care what other people think? I doubt you’ll talk to any of these people after high school anyways
I'm just a bit insecure at times. But it's also the overall situation that felt weird. Sometimes she just gave me an ick, and at some other times I really felt like i could bang her.
[–]willgo-waggins 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re 18.
Every experience is helpful at this point and you might find that she is a sex goddess behind the bedroom door and you get taught a lot.
Go have fun and don’t worry so much. You’ve got a whole lifetime to regret bad decisions and you likely won’t remember this one in ten years other than a vague recollection.
[–]LeadPrevenger 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Gots to see it through my boy
Lmao
[–]b_a_d_r0b0t 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Pump and dump
I'll see man cheers
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Figure out if you are not just having anxiety about the whole thing, if you really don’t desire her don’t feel obliged to have sex just tell her you don’t think it’s a good idea and you rather stay friends, but again make sure it’s not just anxiety for what other people might think or whatever other reason
[–]Kidamni 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I mean I really don't find her that attractive, and I've kinda set higher standards for myself, seeing as I've had some really attracitve girls have an interest in me, though it didn't work out because I reached a certain point where I became too insecure. That's why I'm considering this girl, but I'm not really sure about what to do at this point.
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Are these higher standards based on looks or on behavior/ character or a combination? I understand your dilemma on one hand it would be nice to get the experience in on the other hand you don’t want to do something you actually don’t want to do.
Both personality and looks wise, but looks is probably the most obvious one.
[–]Czekraft 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s called consent. Both parties give it. No point pressuring yourself to have sex with someone youre not attracted to.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]DickBillyJackson 32 points33 points34 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kidamni 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MikeAlphaGolf 60 points61 points62 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]FaithInStrangers94 46 points47 points48 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BasedBalwai 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]juampab_ 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 31 points32 points33 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kidamni 5 points6 points7 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]19Black 25 points26 points27 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Few-Solution3050 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]19Black 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Few-Solution3050 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mabden 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rqmak 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SummerEarly 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]what_it_do_bby 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]panthus1 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kylomorales 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kidamni 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]slash03 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gearz557 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]what_it_do_bby 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DickBillyJackson 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kidamni 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CaptainCanuck15 -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BostonWeedParty -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fedetex 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MattPruga -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sheefMoses -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]oktwonight -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sensitive-Permit-877 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SomebodyToldMe2 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kidamni 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]willgo-waggins 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LeadPrevenger 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kidamni 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]b_a_d_r0b0t 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kidamni 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kidamni 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kidamni 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Czekraft 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link