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[–]doingitg 146 points147 points148 points 4 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
Entered college without ever kissing a girl. Got involved in a job that required me to talk to people all of the time. Eventually felt like a king amongst men because I started rewarding myself because I finally understood that people actually admire me for who I am. I also got really good at speaking with people, obviously. Had a threesome and got into an LTR the same year. The more you practice what you want, the better you get.
No easy way around. But eventually everything is possible.
[–]FaithInStrangers94 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What was your biggest learning takeaway ? Was it a speaking skill or more of an improvement in your self respect?
[–]parahacker 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The biggest takeaway here should be to put yourself in social situations and keep doing it. Build a network and focus on those relationships, and you'll get more opportunities to satisfy your other drives.
Having a job that requires this kind of makes it a default setting. But it's not strictly required, just helpful.
[–]doingitg 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Started as a shy 20 years old boy with lots of insecurities and close to zero self-worth. Biggest takeaway for me, personally, would be that I started seeing my real self in those people. Realized that I'm much more handsome/talented/funny, etc. than I thought of myself because of my insecurities. Then started realizing I have lots of insecurities I had to acknowledge and start working on.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Inspiring! What job was that, if I may ask? My job isn't that heavy on talking to (new) people all the time, and my hobbies are kinda individually minded.
[–]ThatGuy_Nick9 30 points31 points32 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Dude work as a server/bartender. Learn how to step out of your comfort zone. Learn how to flirt by conversating with customers and coworkers in a respectful, playful (non-serious) way. And you’ll get laid
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have entertained that idea. I like mixing drinks though I am terrible at serving them haha, and I have spare time on weekend nights anyways. Maybe one day I will, who knows?
[–]doingitg 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Big and expensive hotels at the seaside in my country have a special part of their staff that's sole purpose is to 'entertain' the guests. We organize activities such as beach volleyball/ water polo/ football, etc. and make dancing shows/comedy sketch shows, etc. at night. You are basically interacting with and meeting ~20 new people every day over a ~90 day period.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I had actually considered that for a while because last time I went to one they kinda offered me to do it since it would be good for me, but I was really young at the time and probably wouldn't have been able to handle it. Right now it would be impossible because of my career, but maybe I can find something smaller that is similar.
[–]doingitg 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I suggest that you work on the basics meanwhile. Go to the gym at least 4 times a week or start learning a martial art. Start following men's clothing pages on instagram/facebook or just watch youtube videos, just copy what they wear and what you would see yourself in, you do not have to put much though into it in the beginning. Get a nice haircut, if you do not know what kind, grow some hair and go to a popular barbershop in your city, then ask the barber. This would mainly increase your confidence, which is the goal of the whole exercise, and make you look much better on the side.
[–]Nicely_Colored_Cards 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Bro! Don’t leave us hanging with that threesome story! How’d that happen?
[–]doingitg 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Worked on my insecurities, which led me to be a better human being as a whole. Got good at social interactions due to my job. Story in itself is not much to tell about. Got drunk with 2 girls and one thing led to another.
[–]Nicely_Colored_Cards 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Damn! Did you already know them or were they strangers? And did you do any steps to lead it there or did they suggest it?
[–]doingitg 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
I knew both of them but I guess they never saw me in that light. Of course you have to lead the interaction, as with all interactions with women. If you do not lead the interaction you won't even get 'tested' to see whether you're worthy of it or not. You lead, you get 'tested' and if you pass all of that you get rewarded.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
What do you define 'leading' as?
[–]Nicely_Colored_Cards 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
And “testing”? This is all new ground for me, idk, I never really used any official seduction terminology. Did okay for myself so far, but by no means a huge player (around 20 sexual partners until age 26 and three long term relationships). Still find it interesting learning about this type of stuff!
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Mate, listen up. If you had 20 partners at 26, you are doing one hell of a job. I know hardly anyone who was able to achieve that, and I myself am at the bottom of the barrel.
[–]Nicely_Colored_Cards 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hey, thanks OP! Truth be told, I wish I had a bit of a healthier relation to the whole hooking up thing… Things like this should be fun for people who genuinely enjoy doing it, but for me it way too often came from a place of low self-worth, self-doubt, esteem issues, trying to compensate insecurities / mental health issues, etc. It was never something I was really truly out for, but felt like I had to do. Anyhow, after a couple years of therapy I’m finding balance in life again and am in a loving relationship, so all is okay! - And I guess I should listen to my therapist and also avoid compulsively going through subs like this as the whole comparing to others does me more harm than good lol. All the best OP and thanks for the encouraging words in any case! May things go well for you :)
You already know what it is then. When you show sexual intent towards a girl, and she throws a 'playful' word/look/sentence to see your reaction. This is intended to test your confidence, hence it's called a shit test or test for short.
Exactly what it means. Taking the first steps in whatever direction you want the interaction to go.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sure but you have to be extremely lucky. If I were to go out and lead friends into that direction they'd probably tell me to stop being so desperate for sex or something.
[–]doingitg 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You obviously have to had created sexual tension between you and the girl/s. You obviously have to be calibrated, meaning you have to know if the girl is sexually interested in order to escalate to a higher instance. And you always have to track her/their level of sexual interest.
[–]WeakEmu8 47 points48 points49 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Wtf is kv?
[–]MorningSavings 114 points115 points116 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
King virgin
[–]RedditTipiak 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That title is cruel.
[–]devnasty009 22 points23 points24 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😹😹😹😹wtf
[–]ThatGuy_Nick9 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
r/BossFight
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
LMFAO
Enjoy your award, King virgin
[–]MorningSavings 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
All love bro, but fr tho just get yourself out there and try to be as social as possible. I know everyone says that but, it’s true. Try complimenting people you see day to day not just women. I try to compliment as many people as possible, especially when first meeting someone, it’s almost never sexual. People love receiving compliments, and it’s usually a really good ice breaker. Compliments don’t even always have to go into full on conversations. I remember I used to be really shy, but once I got over the fear of just saying something, it never came back. Rejection stings for a brief moment, it’s scary and embarrassing. First few times you get rejected, just be glad you even attempted it. You can’t go from getting none to drowning in it overnight(unless you win the lotto or something lmao). Same as before tho, the more you do it, the easier it gets. Eventually you can just brush it off and Mac on. The world is your oyster, have some fun, and don’t take it too seriously.
I think my problem is giving up too quickly. Granted, I do believe I get rejected/shunned more often than other people since they had more success at younger ages, but 1 negative reaction can already ruin my day or destroy my will to continue the grind. Last time I approached a stranger to ask something I got very short annoyed responses, and I got the hint, but it's not fun when that happens often. This was at the pool btw, and we were both swimming laps and catching a break.
[–]Clinton-Dix_2356 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LMAOOOOO
[–]ShitpostAccountlol 31 points32 points33 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Kissless virgin I think
[–][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Not a kv but I got married real young while in the military and divorced around 25, I had been with my sons mother for like 6 years and had zero game or experience with other girls. I was a hot mess for the next 4 years or so. Something clicked around 29/30 and everything changed. I became much more relaxed around women, stopped worrying about what other people think. I ended up getting a second job at the door of a local pub, checking ID'S and some other security stuff. That, that was amazing. I almost couldn't lose and straight up had a few girls fighting over me. I'm nothing special and it was more the position of power mixed with IDGAF attitude in my opinion. Sure as fuck wasn't my looks or my doughy ass body.
[–]069reasonswhy 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How do you balance between IDGAF and yet giving your full attention to a woman? Without going over the line.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Full attention? Maybe after your established with them a bit. It's hard to say....remain aloof, just relax they shouldn't feel prey. I think that women can almost smell desperation, or it seems that way. I would stop going into every interaction on a mission and just fucking be. For me I truly needed to let go.
[–]069reasonswhy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah for whatever weird reason. The more i become aloof the more they even got attracted to me. But i let my action do the talking by being a gentle. But not nice, just a gentleman. Thanks for the heads up
[–]nyysupastar10 points 4 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Lost my virginity at 23 and got into a LTR shortly thereafter that lasted 4 years. That ended this March and my body count was 2. I took a work on me mentality / have no fear mindset and my count is at 9 now. I know it’s not that crazy of a pace, but I think eliminating that doubt based off the idea that I took care of myself helped.
Also establishing a more risqué frame on first dates from the get go got me at least to 3rd base / home on most of the first dates with the girls I’ve been with since my breakup.
That said, I’ve been heartbroken multiple times this year, but I think reinforcement sort of builds resilience and confidence over time.
Sounds like you’re on a great track - keep it up! You learn a lot from each heartbreak
[–]dontbanmeagaindudes 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why are you comparing yourself? you shouldn't do it.
[–][deleted] 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Because I feel like I missed milestones I should have passed by now. Social development during my teens was severely lacking, and these were aspects of that. I feel incomplete and inadequate.
[–]iammyfathersdad 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Come on bro don’t be like that. Society has put this pressure on everyone to be having crazy amounts of sex all the time. Everyone has their own pace of going about things you’re not late or early you’re just on time.
You will be fine bro which is not to say that you should just sit on your ass and a hot girl will fall into your lap. You gotta invest a lot of effort into yourself across all aspects of life. You should strive to be really good at the things you want to be good at. Once you have yourself figured out, you will understand your true potential.
Best of luck my friend!
[–]HeavenPiercingMan 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He is kinda right. There's a point where you don't click with the people you live with because you're so far behind. You're looking for different things, say a more carefree relationship while everyone around you wants "the serious bf job" and your way of thinking is met with disdain, any sort of playfulness is considered "childish"
[–]yennybear888 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Lost my virginity at 22 (night before graduation actually!) She became my steady gf for 5 years (we were long distance) so my number count remained at 1 until I was 27. Broke up with her, studied and learned game and got on Tinder in NYC. Maintained a rotation of 7 at one point…got the n count past 60…now I’m in a relationship again. It can def happen!
[–]humblesquirrelking 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Did you just said 60!??
[–]yennybear888 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yea 60…About 15 new girls each year. Prob easier to do in a place like NYC
[–]humblesquirrelking 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sir, Make me your disciple my master.
[–]maddisser10118 points 4 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I had two girlfriends during college and barely spoke to women because of that. After graduating, I was completely lost. The best advice to give is to lift, find a passion, and approach as much as you can. All failures have a lesson but you have to go out and learn.
I have recently started lifting seriously and have gotten many compliments (but not from girls my age haha), and I found a new passion lately besides my career. I guess I am doing good in that regard. It's just the approaching that sucks, if I find a girl that isn't taken at least. I am awkward and my jokes don't often land.
[–]skatinislife446 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Wasn’t a virgin but had maybe 8 lays after I graduated college at 26. Most of them I fell into because of a program/class. Now I’m 30 and have around 40.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
8 lays is still plenty of experience to build up from, so it is not surprising to me you got 32 more after college, unless something else happened in your life that made you achieve that?
[–]skatinislife446 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I got dumped by the hottest girl I ever managed to pull because I was insecure and needy. This set me down the path of “game,” including everything from improving my appearance—gym, clothes, hair, skin, teeth—to inner game, becoming outcome independent and confident in the strengths of my personality, while aware and indifferent about my flaws.
I went from being overshadowed by my friends and “handsome” to my relatives, to the known ladies man who people assume is well-aware of his attractiveness and plays it accordingly.
[–]Midnight5un 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I know it's said to death but you gotta put yourself out there. Go out w a friend if you have a hard time engaging one on one. I think you missed a lot of good opportunities though bc high school and college are where you'd have large group hangouts that more often than not involved alcohol etc. I'm not saying take advantage of drunk girls. Just that it lowers your inhibitions and makes the nerves not as intense. I used to be petrified to tt girls. Never even dated a girl all through high school. Then I just started hanging out w groups of friends and I'm not any Cassanova or anything but I've had a few G/F's, one night stands and FWB over the course of the last decade plus. 24 total which pales in comparison w most of my friends but I'm okay w a low number.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I am missing out on the friend department too, and the few I had were never 'challenging' me to come out of my shell because they were similar to me. Maybe if I fix that, then the rest will slowly follow?
[–]Midnight5un 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think it's certainly worth a try. I'm an introvert. A have a few friends that are the opposite. The pairing actually works better than you'd think. Even if I do find them a bit too much at times. Most all the girls I've been w have been friends of friends. Only a couple I've met on my own.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Here's to good hope then :)
[–]Canadian-Seductioner 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Entered university a virgin, but lost my virginity within the first few weeks at a frat party (18yo). However, I didn't really have any success after that until I went on exchange in Europe (20yo). That new environment really helped me grow out of my shell and improve my game. Came back and struggled again, but was doing better than before (21yo). That being said, it wasn't really until I graduated and moved to a whole new city & country (23yo) that I started to get successful. Now I'm getting laid pretty consistently (28yo).
Work on it, maybe enter a new environment, and you'll get there too.
[–]dani098 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
I was a virgin at 24. Has sex, had more sex at ~30 -35. Still have sex approaching 38. Went home with a 6-8, 22 yo this weekend.
Edit. 24 lost virginity at 24 not 34
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Weren't the first 34 years frustrating? Was the wait worth it in the end?
[–]dani098 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Typo. Lost virginity at 24
Aha! Still a bit of a long wait though, or not?
[–]dani098 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I replied to your original post but I’m the big scheme of things it was the right time for me looking back
[–]dani098 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To actually answer your question. Was the wait worth it? the whole tube I was growing as a person, and continued to do so even now. Listing my virginity was a small blip in my life. I have had plenty of sex and now find casual hookups mundane but still get them
[–]MountainDry23441 points 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
What did you change to get to that point?
[–]dani098 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Any aspect of my life I can think off. Self improvement all round is something you should work on till the day you die in my opinion But… I started with weight loss. I’ve always been active but I was never really satisfied with my body. Basically strive to look good naked. My weight/ physique fluctuates but I get a LOTA MORE attention when I am lean and muscular. I work on my ability to talk to people, eye contact. I join groups and have hobbies.
[–]MeditateWithJake 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Start with this YouTube channel: the Natural Lifestyles and check out their infield videos (also has free trainings for first dates) will give you a great crash course on all the common mistakes you might make as a beginner.
[–]The_Flying_Finn -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What's a KV?
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]M0dsRGay69 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Too vague. Describe what led up to it.
[–]Mikell01 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Had no confidence or self esteem in high school. Slept with maybe 5 girls. Then I left school and joined a band and I'm now late 30s. Slept with approx 100 women since. Still think I'm a failure as blew so many other opportunities over the years mainly due to alcohol.
No confidence and you still slept with 5 girls?!? Where do you live, English countryside or what >p<
[–]Mikell01 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Was out partying every weekend so should have been way more tbh. Right place and right time
Wow, wish I attended parties like that haha
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[–]doingitg 146 points147 points148 points (21 children) | Copy Link
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