I think I intimidate women - does anyone else have this problem?

SmartWin9685 · 2021-03-18T14:33:22+00:00

Pretty much same boat as you except I have blond hair. 6’4 230 really muscular type, told I’m attractive etc. and yeah I have the same experience.

Anytime I’ve approached a cute girl or talked with them later on it was some variation of “you were scary” “I was intimidated” “didn’t think you’d ever go for me” and these are from very good looking women.

I think it comes down to them realizing that you are super good looking and probably have your choice of women so why bother, if they come on to you and you reject them that’s ego crushing, so they just observe from a distance. They almost become disinterested which made me really confused for awhile before I realized what’s going on. I wondered why they weren’t super flirty or obvious, like with some other guys but it’s because you’re such a high level they don’t want to bruise their ego by getting shut down.

It’s almost like you have surpassed the basic realm of the game and now need to realize that you have more power and leverage than you thought. They’re intimidated because of what you look like, so recognize that and if you approach show through actions/words that you “chose” them (because you have your pick remember) and they will love that.

Hope that helped a bit.

BiscuitxCruiser · 2021-03-18T15:27:47+00:00

As a woman who has been told for similar reason by men that I am intimidating, finding a man like you isn’t easy. The ones worth your time are out there.

JustHereNorThere · 2021-03-18T21:09:41+00:00

What’s a lOl?

IcarusBane1 · 2021-03-18T14:42:00+00:00

Haha bro iois are shit. If I get a strong ioi 90% of the time I will get blown out by them! Some even get mad I approached I don’t get it like you were looking at me. As far your problem you’re right good looks and a tall height I’m assuming I wouldn’t know I’m 5’8 will intimidate women. Stay in your approaches if she’s not outright rejecting you and just keep approaching. 30 a week minimum

revente · 2021-03-18T15:56:20+00:00

On the several occasions I have approached, I have left the interaction feeling that it didn't go well, and the girl clammed up, was quiet, serious, slightly awkward even.

Never assume shit and cockblock yourself. Just ask for number and see if the girl follows.

Lynnface614 · 2021-03-18T21:10:03+00:00

Honestly, I have a male friend who is probably at least your height. And he’s ALL MUSCLE. He’s very nice, I have no rational reason to feel concerned about him for any reason, but I’m going to be honest: Even though he’s incredibly nice and a good friend to me, he’s HUGE. I feel intimidated by his strength and size. Walking side by side, I fear that he won’t realize his own strength and will accidentally side swipe me with his arm and knock my teeth out or something! And I very much like this guy as a friend! I have nothing bad to say about him AT ALL. But his size DOES consistently scare me. And that’s MY problem. It’s totally irrational and I know it. Just being honest.

hartlylove · 2021-03-18T22:25:00+00:00

28F here and I have the same problem (only reversed - I seem to intimidate guys and am 5feet small😅). What has worked for me was to make the first move, even though I’m still super shy and do get intimidated. Seems like guys expect to have to do the first move so if I do it, then they feel I must be really interested. My advice for a guy though would be to do the opposite. Perhaps wait for a woman who does have the guts to approach you? That way you’re sure she’s not going to be intimidated if she did the first move. But yeah, us girls get intimidated easily. I get intimidated by guys who apparently are intimidated by me too.

tradery · 2021-03-18T18:40:03+00:00

If you’re a big dude 6’4 try to look less big by wearing a hoodie instead of a t shirt. You got rejected 5 times that’s nothing. I’m really lucky if I get one out of 5 and I’m 16

MakeSail · 2021-03-18T20:34:39+00:00

What age women are you approaching?

JustHereNorThere · 2021-03-18T21:18:48+00:00

Thanks for posting this, the responses and dialogue I’ve read thus far has given me some confidence back to approach women in real life again. I did this a few times but always received “I’ve got a boyfriend” was I just unlucky?

ireallyloveoats · 2021-03-19T00:29:58+00:00

I think I struggle with this too, and also am re-learning after a divorce. I'm not sure I'm necessarily handsome (maybe slightly above average) but I am just simply physically intimidating as a 6'1 220 lean bodybuilder body type. I'll approach after some IOI (which I question if I misread at times lol) and their eyes go wide and get very nervous. I try to be friendly and not excessively intimating.

It's like on one hand, everywhere we are told men need to be confident and direct and go straight up to them in approach. But then you do, and it's "I have a BF" (which gut feeling tells me it's not true) or just seems I come off too strong. What gives man.

Economy-Cockroach989 · 2021-03-19T02:31:58+00:00

Maybe she is just looking at you, not an ioi. Seems an "ioi" can be construed as anything. I look at people in the eyes all the time just so I dont run into them. Maybe they like girls better (I would if I were a female) and you need to chill and get comfortable being single.

MajesticLaw4939 · 2021-03-19T02:53:25+00:00

I think you're height and apparent good looks are an advantage. While 6'4 is definitely tall, you aren't a 7 footer. When you approach girls really make sure you are coming off in a funny, charismatic way. May have to work a little harder to put them at ease and be comfortable. Are there any cities nearby your town? May have to expand to nearby places if they aren't extremely far. Also, just my 2 cents, for guys who are on the more attractive end of the distribution online dating works better. So you may re evaluate your distaste for that a bit. I don't like it either, but it's an easy way to put yourself out there and with being an attractive dude you'll have a better shot than the average guys out there.

gordons_vodka_lillet · 2021-03-18T16:59:52+00:00

It's not about looks it's about your attitude. You behave in a way that tells them you're not really attracted to them. Women are surrounded by needy men and they learn to read them easily, but when they meet a man that doesn't seek their approval they can't understand him, they don't know what to do. They don't want to fuck it up, but since they never needed any game to get a man, they never learned how to behave around such men, so they end up ignoring you as the best strategy.

To them you're a man that slays pussy all the time even if it's not true. They are afraid that you will fuck them and dump them. In my experience women who feel insecure are not worth it, they're the most manipulative. And they project their insecurity on you, thinking that it's you who's really manipulative and end up doing weird shit themselves.

I get this a lot and I'm average height, not good looking, introvert. I know I'm average looking at best because I tried online dating and didn't get a lot of matches and when I did it was women I won't date.

I wouldn't think of this as being extremely attractive, I would call it being extremely polarizing. The women that will be attracted to you and trust you at the same time will be the most confident and emotionally healthy ones.

throwaway_fibonacci · 2021-03-19T03:11:43+00:00

I have also been told that I’m intimidating, but more because I’m a late bloomer that had to develop a great sense of humor and was a bookworm during an awkward phase that lasted from 7-17. LOL. I definitely “Longbottomed.” I’m also around your age, but get mistaken for being 15 years younger. (I’m cringing looking at what I wrote above, please deflate my head).

HAVING SAID THAT, I’m still intimidated by strikingly beautiful men. And when they show interest in me, I’m still flabbergasted because I’ve internalized that adolescent awkwardness from when I was every guy’s little sister. There is such a thing as a guy being so pretty that I don’t think I can date them, if that makes sense. Although, I’ve dated some pretty attractive men. It kind of makes a girl more self-conscious, especially considering all the things we ladies have to do regularly for general upkeep. Example: I exercise maybe 6-7 hours per week and have a pretty involved skincare and haircare regimen. If I have to date YOU, do I have to up my game even more??! Lol

Anyways, I’m wondering if you splash any humor into your approach? Even with super pretty men, that seems to break the ice and lower the walls a bit, in my experience. :)

MalibuProducer77 · 2021-03-19T04:08:35+00:00

Yeah I feel what you're saying. I've had people in real life say I'm a very good looking guy. I've had girls online say "there's no way those are your pictures" lol. I'm confident, good looking, dress extremely well aka designer clothes here and there, girls give me an ioi, then when I approach them, they freeze the fuck up! 😂 I'm in NC in a small city but like another guy said if I approach way too much eventually a rumour is gonna start going around and people will say "That's that guy that just talked to such and such yesterday. There he goes again talking to another girl now". The southern gossip is sooooooo irritating down here I can't stand it. Makes me feel I need to be in NYC or Miami etc. It's like I'm too much for the whole state of NC and whatever I do is a spotlight effect on me smh. Be confident and approach for what if the people down here can't take a confident good looking guy? 😐

nyccowgirl · 2021-03-19T04:37:50+00:00

I almost laughed at this while reading it...not because it isn't an issue but because I'm amazed it's an issue at this age. Sure, insecure women and/or shy women become awkward around men (of any stature and looks, even more so if they think the other person is out of their league which to me is just a sign of insecurity because nobody is out of anyone's league, let's be honest). However, at around 40, I would view any person who does this, whether man or woman, as a red flag.

We are all attracted to confidence and knowing what we want in life. You would hope that by this age, we'd figure that out already, and if not, there's probably a lot of internal work that hasn't been done. I meet younger men quite a bit who are 6'2" plus (note that I'm petite at a little under 5'). When I was younger, I was shy so didn't even know how to flirt with men although I had a lot of male friends. But now at 40+, a lot of those tall, good looking younger men, actually are attracted to my confidence, despite the 15+ years age gap. They find that refreshing.

You don't have to do anything to 'improve' things. I would consider what you're going through as perhaps a blessing that it will perhaps help you weed out insecure women. Just be you!

2021-03-19T05:58:06+00:00

No matter what, anything is possible. You just have to realize it's not a big deal and you got no other choice. If you got IOIs, you already have enough. You need to just approach anyway instead of complaining about it. Security will always play a factor, I've been interrogated by police twice already for just appearing suspicious (not from cold approaching though).

fouad-makarem · 2021-03-19T10:18:21+00:00

I do to my man . Its cause of the confidence and the in your face i dont give a fuck kinda attitude or whatever the thing is . And alot of women are insecure and shit

quirkypinkllama · 2021-03-19T21:27:18+00:00

I get VERY nervous around a guy I like and can't hardly make eye contact if I'm super attracted. It's ridiculous. But it's me. Getting better.

Maybe ask if right then and there if she could grab a coffee so you're all seated and the height thing isn't as much a factor?

Title	I think I intimidate women - does anyone else have this problem?
Author	tr0930
Upvotes	19
Comments	69
Date	March 18, 2021 2:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/m7rq4y/i_think_i_intimidate_women_does_anyone_else_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-think-i-intimidate-women-does-anyone-else-have.1291600 https://theredarchive.com/post/1291600

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