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[–]ImJustSo 33 points34 points35 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, I get that sometimes you don't really want to miss a connection with someone, but I believe too strongly in reciprocal interactions.
I have actually only had this happen once and it did catch me off guard, because this woman initiated conversation with me first, on the bus. I smiled at her, said a quick hello and then ten minutes later she started a conversation.
After the remainder of my ride and chat with her, our stops were coming soon. I asked if she'd like to exchange numbers so we could speak again in the future. She declined and things went quiet, then she quickly assured me, "It's not you! I just...don't give out my number..." but she also didn't offer any further way to chat in the future. I responded with, "Well, would you like to continue chatting until our stops then?" and she agreed that she'd like to do that.
So yes, there was chemistry. Yes, we were both enjoying the talk. Unfortunately, she did not help me further with a reciprocation that we should speak further someday and I am not someone that chases. I will dance, and I will lead, but I will not sacrifice an equal standing with a woman.
It's a shame that she said that, but that's who she is and I am who I am. So, oh well. Shit test failure that's acceptable to me, as it's a perfect screening for a woman that doesn't work for me.
[–]BallerGuitarer 8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I believe this is the correct answer.
[–]ROCKSTARMANIC 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You should offered your number. Make her feel comfortable. But you took the better perspective.
[–]physicalbitcoin 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I would've said, "no worries, here's my number/FB. Say hi if you change your mind." I don't always ask for girl's numbers, just give them my FB. It gives them a chance to think about it and stalk you on social media before contacting.
[–]VinDenim 8 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn’t be surprised if that girl had her anti slut defense up due to social pressures and may regret giving in to those pressures as you weren’t pushy about it. People learn lessons from regretful experiences so the next guy may have an easier time thanks to you.
[–]ImJustSo 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Who knows what her reasons were, but her? I enjoyed the interaction and moved on, because I have options with women that work for me. Nothing lost, no time, no effort, just a nice chat with a pretty girl.
Another girl that reminds me of her also rejected my number request, because of a boyfriend, but she made sure to flatter me in the process. I told her we could still be friends. Her response while blushing was, "I couldn't have a friend like you around." I still see the interaction in the same way. I probably could've pushed past both their reservations, but why bother? There's plenty of fish in the sea.
[–]VinDenim1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Yes I know nobody knows but her. I just said I wouldn’t be surprised. I find it useful to create artificial positive narratives for myself regarding unknowns in life because why the fuck not? If I can internally recognize them as fiction but they still give me a positive outlook they are useful stories.
[–]tickledpic -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She wasn't into you, but was willing to let you entertain her with pleasant conversation.
[–]ImJustSo 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Incorrect. 😊
[–]Cam2071 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
"Then take my number ☺"
I actually prefer giving a number than taking a number. Because if there was a genuine connection she will hit me up.
[–]Smooth21 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Yes! Let me post a MINI FR right here.
Today I was at the gym, getting a sick lift in. Both head phones in and feeling pretty alpha to be honest.
A cute (8/10) gym employee approaches me, despite double headphones and having a look on my face like "don't bother me"
She goes
Hey! I'm sorry for almost taking your head off with the vacuum cord last month
I had no idea what she was talking about...
Then she goes
Yeah you were doing floor exercises. And I just felt really bad, so I wanted to apologize.
I say "I didn't even notice, I must have been in the zone. What's your name?"
Julie.
Then she extends her hands to give me a hand shake and says
What's your name? .... Nice to meet you! I recognized your eyes
I have blue eyes, she went out of her way to compliment them.
I went about my workout, and then after I finished, I was walking out, and she was at the front desk.
She had a huge smile on her face and said bye to me.
I decided to shoot my shot.
Hey what time do you work on Saturday? I'm going to the mall to buy my mom her birthday gift. You should come. 2:30.
Despite her being so friendly and flirty with me, she goes
I'll think about it. I will let you know when you are in the gym Saturday morning.
I ask for her number:
Pause....
I can't. I might get in trouble
"Ok take my number then"
She gets out a pen a paper, and writes it down.
I go "Do you remember my name?
Yes. It's smooth21. Those eyes are easy to remember
So she essentially hit on me, but wouldn't give me her number. But honestly, I like my chances of getting a text from her this week
[–]DarkArtsPUA11 8 years ago [recovered] (12 children) | Copy Link
this happens because there are girls that like the idea of hooking up with an attractive dude, but when push comes to shove and they have to pull the trigger, they become hesitant. for example, in her mind she's orchestrated that her strategy to meet you was to first make a situational opener to get your attention and then just start smiling at you every week until she finally believes that she's "ready" to meet you outside the gym (whenever that may be)
i must say that having girls come up to you at the gym and basically expressing direct interest is a good sign. i wouldn't be surprised if there were several other girls in that same gym checking you out in secret but not having enough guts to approach. it seems that your looks are an inherent pussy magnet which is good news. all you have to do now is keep putting yourself in social and public situations. the girls will naturally lock onto you like a magnet, and at that point don't fuck up and when an opportunity arises you take it. if you're trying to actively pursue girls, you will find that you run into the same difficulties as every other guy. which is screening for dtf girls and girls that want to meet and fuck right away.
in conclusion, girls will show interest in attractive guys, but you still have to screen these girls to find ones that are outgoing and slutty enough to want to meet and fuck. a girl's morals, standards, or her way of getting to know a new guy usually comes first over an attractive guy, of course there are some exceptions to this
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I had a cute girl half naked in my bed last night. I've commented about her recently. She ghosted me, then we saw each other at the bar last week and she texted me the next morning.
She was on her period, so I couldn't close, but i like my chances of closing with her this weekend. She used to be my ex's friend, so she was shit testing me a bit by bringing her up, and I dodged the tests and had her in my bed after a 40 minute date
[–]DarkArtsPUA11 8 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
awesome, so what happened? did you make out, you felt her up and she blowed you? did you bust a nut? period thing may have just been an excuse because she doesn't want to have sex with you too early, this is just my prediction. if it were true then it kind of confirms what i said earlier: most girls have morals, standards, criteria, etc that they usually will stick to even when they're dealing with an attractive male. this is why screening is very important. to sift out girls that aren't accustomed to meeting and fucking right away. most of the girls that i have sex with are use to being sexual quick, they've done anal, experimented with sex, fucked a lot, etc. so these things are commonplace with them which allows me to smoothly go for sex when i've pulled
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
We were making out. I slipped my hand down her pants and she said "I cant"
I go "You cant?"
She says "I literally cant. I'm on my period"
I started cracking up. We shared a laugh. She was happy with how I responded
[–]DarkArtsPUA11 8 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
that might have been her pre-planned response. did you try to go for her boobs or at least get sucked off? if she was hesitant about that then that leads me to believe even more that she simply was trying to avoid getting sexual quickly. i think that if you want to fuck her it's going to take a few more dates and more work. i'd rather go and fuck easier girls to be honest
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
We were both shirtless. I was sucking her tits and kissing her neck. I believe her. Also I'm getting over fucking easy girls. I'm starting to look for a relationship.
We had so much fun. Tons of laughs. Similar sense of humor. Smart girl. That's what I want. I'm still gonna slay others on the side of course. But I want more with her
[–]DarkArtsPUA11 8 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Also I'm getting over fucking easy girls. I'm starting to look for a relationship.
I'm still gonna slay others on the side of course.
these two statements contradict each other. also, if you want to build a rotation and acquire fuck buddies, in my opinion it's best to fuck as soon as possible and frame the relationship as once a week "fuck dates". this requires screening out girls looking for relationships. you're basically going after girls that see that you have value and are okay with a non serious weekly relation that involves fucking
right now, i think you should put in the few more dates to fuck her if you really like her. do note that for girls that usually take longer to fuck they may want something exclusive. if you really want her though you can still just go for it, be vague about the "relationship", and then continue to fuck other girls on the side
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Let me rephrase that.
I want to find a relationship, but I'm not forcing anything. I'm going to keep fucking a bunch of girls until I find the right girl for me
Update: I saw the gym employee this morning at the gym.
She never texted me, so when we made eye contact I gave her a short "Hey"
She greeted me excitedly with "Smooth21!!"
I just walked away and didnt even acknowledge her exciting because she's the one that didnt text me.
I decided to talk to her as I was leaving.
She goes "So here's the thing...I got in trouble for taking your number. Let's give this a few weeks to die down. Let me know what you get your mom at the mall today for her birthday!"
So it sounds like shes interested, but she's (understandably) not willing to lose her job to go out with me
eh. this is why i don't rly like to "do pickup" at places i frequent like gyms, work, class, etc. cause if the girl isn't down to meet up and potentially have sex, it becomes weird. are you interested in her more than past a romantic relation/sex? if not then it's gonna be annoying to have to keep saying what's up and having to talk to her when you just want to bang
I just want to bang. Shes only 19. I only date 21+
of course. nowadays most girls i approach/talk to my first priority is that i want to fuck. but anyway, unfortunately i believe the probability of fucking this girl is very low at this point. if fucking is your goal, best to just forget about it
Yeah. I'm just forgetting about it. Perhaps something will happen in a month, but I'm not holding my breath
[–]Tenmagnet 8 years ago* [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Responses?
[–][deleted] 22 points23 points24 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
“Ok.” And walk away.
Because fuck that shit. I’m too awesome for this.
Then again I just got sassed by a person at work so I’m not in the right mindset lol
[–]Tenmagnet 8 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
You can't bail that easy! Especially if you really had a good connection. (Read the article!)
[–]PuroPincheGains 10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you had a good connection she won't say that.
[–]drawnred 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So how does anyone call you?
[–]ortsnom 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Neither do I so What's your number?
[–]rudolftherednosed 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
If she really likes you, she'll ask for your number. I don't understand these, "Shit tests." It makes it sound like everytime you talk to a woman, you have to prove you have a manhood, which men were born with anyway.
[–]PuroPincheGains 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Many people are confused about what shit tests are. A shit test is not a literal test. It's not a deliberate action on a woman's part to try and trick you or some shit like that. If you encounter a woman who would do stuff like that, run. It's not worth it.
That said, a shit test is a real thing. Shit test is just the term used to describe a phenomenon. That phenomenon has two parts. First, a situation arises in which a girl says something, does something, or asks something that requires a response from you. Second, the way you respond to this situation will impact how the girl perceives you, and how the relationship will proceed.
__Example 1__
You take a girl to a baseball game for a first/second date. At some point you mention that you're not really into baseball, but you enjoy going to games. She agrees, and jokingly says this,
It's more fun seeing the players in those tight pants in person (;
Now, you can respond in a few ways. An AFC might get mad that their date is talking about being attractive to the pro baseball players. He might shut down, talk less, get stuck in his mind. This will ruin the date, and she'll pretty much think you're a bitch boi. Alternatively, you might joke along and say, "Oh I agree, clearly they squat (;." Now you're a fun guy who gets her sense of humor and you're comfortable with your manhood. Shit test passed.
__Example 2__
You approach a girl at a bar. She's receptive, and things go well for awhile, but eventually she asks,
So how many girls have you talked to tonight?
Oh shit, busted huh? Well, you could say 20 lol and though that may be true, you might ruin your chances with a girl who has been pretty flirty during this conversation. You could go on a rant about how there's nothing wrong with pick up!!! Even if you're very articulate in a debate though, have you ever seen anyone here advise you to logic your way into a girls desires? No. That's an attempt to qualify yourself, which is needy in this context. It'll backfire. You can next her, fine, nothing wrong with that. Or, you can maintain your frame and play along, like so,
Honestly they just won't stay away tonight!? Maybe these pants are too provocative? Honestly they just won't stay away tonight!? Luckily we look pretty cute together so they're backing off. Just a few friends really, but I'm flattered you think I have what it takes to be player.
Honestly they just won't stay away tonight!? Maybe these pants are too provocative?
Honestly they just won't stay away tonight!? Luckily we look pretty cute together so they're backing off.
Just a few friends really, but I'm flattered you think I have what it takes to be player.
Now you're acting high value without the neediness of trying to convince anyone. Not to mention you're being humorous, which is another good trait. The last one even suggests to her face that she just gave you a big compliment. More value.
Anyways, long story short, shit tests are real, they just aren't really tests. If you have solid inner game, you don't need much outer game to "pass" in these situations. Cocky/funny pretty much makes shit tests a moot point.
[–]rudolftherednosed 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So it's a way to prove to yourself and her that you're confident and comfortable in your own body even if you are not?
[–]PuroPincheGains 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No. It's a situation. You can respond in an attractive way or a needy beta way. You can certainly fake it all with simple outer game like cocky/funny. But solid inner game and social practice almost eliminates this as an issue.
[–]Potosi88 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you saw her on the bus, good chance you'll see her again. Build more comfortable relations with witty small talk.
[–]ls737100 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ya, these seem like shit answers. I say move on and find the women in the location that are more likely to be interested.
[–]recyclablebanthas0 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
1
I like these posts of yours and the conversations that come with them.
But I gotta say, I'm conflicted on this one.
You meet someone, it’s going great....There is chemistry..... ...And she says “I don’t give out my phone number“.
You meet someone, it’s going great....There is chemistry.....
...And she says “I don’t give out my phone number“.
Her response to the number close, immediately calls into question everything before that.
2
First, she might be saying it because she really has some rule about giving her phone number out at bars for some reason.
If there's really a connection then she shouldn't have an issue giving out her number.
Plenty of people make "rules" after they get hurt or something, but those same rules get quickly broken if they meet someone they really hit it off with.
Same concept as when we often see people who keep making the same relationship, and claiming that each time is the last time, and that they're enacting some sort of rule to prevent it next time.
Second, she might be saying it because she likes you but feels awkward giving out her number for some reason.
If she really likes the guy, she won't feel awkward giving out her number. She'll be feeling loss aversion and will go along with a suggestion to exchange contact information.
Third, she might be saying it because she actually just doesn’t like you and is trying to blow you off politely.
This is definitely a possibility.
3
I'll add a fourth possibility: Some girls, just like some guys, are incapable of getting involved with someone, without needlessly adding drama, games, and/or manipulation to the process.
Which, in this case, is a red flag. A fail. A bullet to dodge. Rather than a "test" to pass.
4
The good news with this STotW is that it isn't one guys will see if the girl is interested, only if she's actually uninterested or manipulative enough that not getting there is actually a bullet dodged.
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[–]ImJustSo 33 points34 points35 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]BallerGuitarer 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ROCKSTARMANIC 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]physicalbitcoin 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]VinDenim [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ImJustSo 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]VinDenim1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]tickledpic -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ImJustSo 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cam2071 5 points6 points7 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smooth21 3 points4 points5 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]DarkArtsPUA11 [recovered] (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]DarkArtsPUA11 [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]DarkArtsPUA11 [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DarkArtsPUA11 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]DarkArtsPUA11 [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DarkArtsPUA11 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Smooth21 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tenmagnet [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 22 points23 points24 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tenmagnet [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PuroPincheGains 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]drawnred 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ortsnom 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rudolftherednosed 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]PuroPincheGains 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]rudolftherednosed 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PuroPincheGains 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Potosi88 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ls737100 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]recyclablebanthas0 points [recovered] | Copy Link