Male 26. No job, no car, no degree, still living with my parents. My entire life I have never had a date, hoping to get a job would change it. I feel unemployable and undateable.

Mobile_Pepper · 2019-03-27T23:06:05+00:00

Listen up young blood, was you many years ago and in worse condition than you. It’s easy to pull yourself out of this shit, and could do so easily within a years time. My candid advice and what I did: Start lifting, find a part time job that can rent you a room in a house, and get back into school. In that order.

-Exercise/lifting does wonders for depression/lethargy, build confidence.

-A part time job (strongly recommend service industry like barback/bartender: flexible hours, easy/good $$, great social experience-learn to talk to people, and super easy to pickup women -everyone loves the guy who controls the pouring of drinks, they’re automatically the alpha of room because of it).

-Go back to school to finish your/a degree (trade,bachelors, idgaf but something that will be employable or will help you get into grad/pro school). This will give a sense of purpose and show you have a plan in life.

I’d encourage building a 3,6,9, 12 month plan. -In 3 months time, I’ll be in better shape, have a steady workout regimen. -In 6 months time i’ll have a part time job that pays enough to the rent a place that within budget and convenient with school and work commutes. -In 9 months time, i’ll be applying or back in school, finishing my degree, and looking towards how to apply it in the future. -In 12 months time, i’ll be dating/fucking everything that moves, and be the fucking shit.

You’re still really young dude, don’t sweat it, and there’s plenty of stupid ‘romantic’ experiences that will present themselves (inside & outside of college).

gl chum

HeavyMeringue · 2019-03-28T14:19:57+00:00

Go to trade-school and develop a skill,get your body right by exercising and get your finances in check by getting a part-time job.Then with the money you will make from the skill you get,get some better clothes and learn some game,do NOT start cold approaches.Take a break from women alltogether for some time.Get more money and keep the self improving around.At the same time find some good old stocks or assets to invest your extra money into.That is that for a start.

quinnmcd · 2019-03-27T22:45:06+00:00

You’re definitely in your own head. Start off with small goals, create a big picture and start working on improving yourself. You can easily date people with no job, car or degree, but you want a higher quality of women they are easier to get when your life is somewhat together.

Remember that we all are moving through life at different speeds. Take your time and work on becoming 1% better everyday. Don’t be scared to read self help books and figure what the best plan for you.

xesup2 · 2019-03-28T01:43:02+00:00

To fuck a girl, you only need a place to have sex (which may be her own house).

You don't need a job, car, degree, not living with your parents, being young, spending money or date her.

Just be a down to fuck fuckboy.

Hot women ride the cock carousel. They aren't expecting LTR/marriage. They want sex for the sex itself.

If you even try to date or show value they will start putting conditions, and hops for you to jump. Investing on them just makes it more difficult.

That doesn't means that you shouldn't get a job and your life together. But do it for yourself. You don't need it to convince hot girls into sex.

joseph922 · 2019-03-28T00:56:43+00:00

read models by mark manson its perfect for you and its free online.

AaronicNation · 2019-03-28T02:31:00+00:00

Kid you catastrophizing. You're 26, just based on that one fact I know you have a lot going for you. You honestly just need some coaching, or if you can't find a coach get a therapist. It seems like the world is ending (I've been there) but trust me it's not, you are just in a rut. This might be anathema on this sub, but I would say spend a year or two just working on yourself, it will do wonders. Then start thinking about girls.

abcdcantcme · 2019-03-27T23:40:50+00:00

I would take the word date out of my vocabulary if I was in your situation, and purely focus on yourself and improvement. Once you get a job and pick up some mental and financial momentum, then use the online dating sites. Try looking at r/relationships and similar subs for more specific advice once you get to that point. Good luck with everything!

mandoa_sky · 2019-03-28T02:48:06+00:00

have a job. if any case having more money increases your options re a lot of things.

social activities cost money - if only down to travel expenses and bringing snacks.

justinbeef · 2019-03-28T04:13:46+00:00

Let me tell you a real story of my life:

Bumming around after my conscription (was doing this until i was 24), working in some part time job paying lousy money
Had no plans to work hard in life or study degree or have a good career
Bumped into this girl online and instantly fell in love with her
She despised me for being poor and jobless, although she liked me but she was playing games with me and even had intimate action (didnt have sex) with some dude who drives a BMW later
was devastated despite all the effort put in. Proceed to tell her that im sorry we need to cut contact (to avoid me getting hurt deeper)
Was very motivated to work hard in life due to this incident. Immediately stop fooling around and sent multiple resumes to company. Got hired at a medium sized company and getting paid more than my part time job. Still didnt drive a car because the cost of car here is ridiculous. I was still poor at this stage
Girl made a comeback to me as she realised she liked me. I was pissed but i still gave her a chance
Started dating and it turned out she was the best ex gf i have ever had.
Was there for me for 3 years+. Ironically when I told her i wanted to get a car, she stopped me and instead told me to get a house (better roi)
Career grew better and better, finished my diploma and now doing my degree.
Became Alpha, Got good at getting girls and eventually became a PUA by chance. Women becomes an abundance to me

What I wanna tell u is, get a grip on your life and have a career. Once u have that, u start working on your inner self/game and woman will become abundance to you eventually.

So stop bumming around, start doing it!

recyclablebanthas · 2019-03-28T04:31:01+00:00

1

I went to college for 5 years, dropped out after a nervous breakdown.....

We're going to have to know the path you walked before if you want help with where to go now, so just a couple questions.

What were you studying?
What triggered the breakdown?
What exactly went down when the breakdown occurred?
How would you describe your social life before and after the breakdown?

2

If a girl was 23 years old, I honestly feel like a creepy old perv wanting to ask her out.

You're going to find that the lion's share of this battle is in your mind, countering bullshit thought patterns, like what we see here.

You're 26. If a girl is 23, that's a three year age difference and you're both in your twenties, to boot.

And the conclusion one corner of your mind arrives at, is that you're a "creepy old perv?" Look, the first step is you calling out your own mind for bullshit like this.

You're not going to be able to build up any sense of value or self-esteem, you're not going to be able to attract a girl or friends worth having, if you don't start fighting these battles.

3

Additionally, my goals of leaving my parents' home and getting a good degree have never changed since my teens. But my failure to act has kept me from progressing.

More instances here of you failing to call your own mind out for bullshit. It wasn't "failure to act" that kept you from progressing.

You're skating right the fuck over a HUGE damn gap, right at the point where you had a breakdown that necessitated you dropping out of school. That is HUGE, man. Whatever that was, it was clearly powerful enough that you had to take a break from school. And yet you're ignoring and downplaying the seriousness of whatever caused the breakdown, and almost play it off as if you were just being lazy.

Dude..... you KNOW that breakdowns are some real shit. How are you going to sit there now and act like it was just laziness? How are you going to let a corner of your own mind stab you in the back like that?

4

.....I may never date. Am I allowed to date? Even now? Second, I feel like time is passing much more quickly than before. I feel like I have no valid options when it comes to dating.

You're describing the sort of irrational voice that is pretty well understood in psychology. It's well known that this voice has a way of exaggerating and amplifying negative, irrational, unhealthy, and false ideas.

Allowed to date? Like seriously, what the fuck? Of course you're allowed. What kind of question is this, even? The unfortunate thing is, if you maintain this thought pattern in your head and never challenge it, then you'll believe it. And if you believe it around women, THEY'LL believe you and find you unattractive.

It's a cycle you break by starting to challenge your irrational voice and start fact-checking it, etc.

5

It used to be an abundance mentality. "Just leave my miserable parents and their narcissistic home and then you can easily date at college."

This wasn't an abundance mentality. It's a conditional belief that things get better only if you don't live with them and go to college.

The problem was two-fold:

You were date-able before that. Unless you went around randomly slapping people in the face or something, you almost certainly overlooked people who would have dated you back in high school.
The way it's structured does not match reality. I know guys who started dating while stuck at home, many of whom were in their mid to late 20s, also.

6

Well...that ship has sailed. Permanently. No cute college romantic adventures. Never, ever, again.

You continue to damage yourself by holding yourself responsible for ruining something that hasn't been ruined.

I know guys who went back to school at 26. Do you know what? They dated people and hung out with other college students, even undergrads. Those undergrads all thought the guys were the same age as them. Why? Because being in your twenties is still fucking YOUNG and unless you've had some hard, hard living, you're going to look young at that age.

Here are some facts which your brain is hiding from you:

Those cute little adventures are being glamorized in your mind. Not only is college not the only time you get to have those adventures, but the ones you can have after graduation, are often way better.
Not to mention, you could get back to school now and still have "adventures" with fellow college mates.

7

The last girl I have talked to within 3 years was a tinder bot.

If you seriously want to change your life, you better sure as fuck not just be relying on shitty apps like Tinder. Tinder is not really of consequence. Maybe when it was new and novel, but that ended when those platforms got flooded with desperate dudes who open by asking for sex right away, or with dick pics.

8

I honestly have no clue what to do. What would you suggest I do to increase my value with women?

You need to get your life in order from the sound of it, before you fuss about women.

What does your social life look like now?
And how go your plans to get back to school?

greenlittleman · 2019-03-28T08:03:49+00:00

"

If a girl was 23 years old, I honestly feel like a creepy old perv wanting to ask her out."

Lol what? There are guys who are twenty years older than you who fuck girls in their early twenties. There is nothing "perverted" in desiring young girls, it is abnormal not to want them. You are only 3 years older than she is, it is beyond absurd to feel like this. Also there are a lot of guys who bang girls while still living with parents and without having a job. Your age and your financial problems have absolutely nothing to do with your lack of success with girls. But your worldview and lack of any self-respect is what make you unable to find anyone. Also - to succeed on Tinder you should be above average in looks and even then you still could need to match with about hundred of girls to get laid 2-3 times. If you want to be above average in looks then start from going to gym and finding a good style. "Your value with women" is something subjective. Overconfident asshole without any objective value will sleep with bunch of girls. And if you are beta loser inside then you will end up as Elon Musk (being treated like shit by your woman and begging her to be with you) even if you become millionaire. It is all in your head.

John-lovestosposh · 2019-03-28T14:12:49+00:00

Go watch RSD Jeffy, he had it worse then you (is older then you) and he’s killing it in life .

onyxS4int · 2019-03-28T14:32:26+00:00

Simply just do it, walk into your local community college TODAY! They will set you up with financial aid, loans all of that. Register for classes TODAY! Utilize their career services center and they will place you in some job even if its just retail or food service. Use their gym/weight room. And TALK to everyone on campus!

joblagz2 · 2019-03-28T16:30:50+00:00

if you want something bad, just do it.

fuck the risks, worry about the consequences later.

bitcoino9 · 2019-03-28T17:43:23+00:00

college / university is a scam

which will put you in debt

there are other ways to be successful without going to college and wasting your youth !

Newmilkdud · 2019-03-28T21:14:42+00:00

Get your shit together

SmifnWessun2 · 2019-03-27T21:54:49+00:00

Focus on building yourself up first before the girls, they will come as you progress, go and find that job

poonsurfer · 2019-03-28T03:23:15+00:00

You're young, so you have plenty of time. But there's definitely work to do. I would devote all of my energies right now to getting your own money, transportation, and place to live. In simpler terms: get a job. Finish your degree. Then worry about the poonanny; there's still plenty of time. I'm 45 and my pickup years are nowhere near over.

thezombabe · 2019-05-03T03:07:01+00:00

This is going to be the easiest thing for you. Call up a psychologist and therapist and tell them everything you just told us. They'll work with you to develop a plan and make sure you're implementing it. If you suffer from anxiety(which you obviously do) they can put you on meds to get you back together again.

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