I did a cold approach for the first time

ManHands22 · 2020-10-08T03:19:49+00:00

Girls who work at any kind of entertainment establishment get hit on frequently.

Unless your game is good, or youre exactly her type, it's gonna be a rejection. So from the outset, it's a difficult pull, no shame in failing.

You went for a pretty direct opener. A bland one at that. She was forced to make a decision purely on your physical appearance and body language. Add to that the fact that you're already operating at a disadvantage since she gets hit on frequently, it's easy to see why you were denied.

A better approach would have been to throw out some subtle flirts and gauge her reaction. If she ignores them, there's no interest. If she responds positively, game on.

A more general way to describe your mistake is that you can't just skip the attraction and comfort phases and go straight for the number. You gotta charm the chick first , then ask.

cottagecorehoe · 2020-10-08T01:32:47+00:00

I just want to stop by and say, good job! Rejection comes with approaching and hell, approaching is frickin’ nerve wracking and YOU did it!

I know it didn’t end up with the outcome you want, but even just trying for the first time is a huge thing to have done and you should give yourself a pat on the back for doing it since a lot of people are terrified to do what you just did.

TheMailmanic · 2020-10-08T04:22:30+00:00

You're doing better than 95% of the keyboard jockeys in this sub who just criticize all day

Keep doing what you're doing and reflect and adjust after each encounter

benerdelyi · 2020-10-08T03:32:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

benerdelyi · 2020-10-08T08:04:14+00:00

Rejection is great. It saves you a bunch of time.

Much better than a girl who seeks your validation but not actually interested in you.

Well done

throwaway120236 · 2020-10-08T04:25:41+00:00

Snooker as in the cue sport? Such a fun game man, very difficult too!

As for the girl, don't dwell on it too much. The regret you're having right now from it is gonna last very short term, and it's better that way than if you didn't approach at all. It sounds like from your post that you just can't talk to girls very well. Welcome to the club that 90% of guys are in!

Talking to girls, well, people in general is all about social skills, and getting better at them by talking to all different kinds of people.

Think about it this way, when you first starting playing snooker your best break was probably ass, and you probably missed a lot of pots. But from your post, you said you go there regularly, and you are now improving in that and finding it easier to pot balls and break build. It's the same thing for being social! Keep putting yourself out there and practicing, and you're gonna be shocked at how easy it can be to talk to different types of people.

addy16a2 · 2020-10-08T05:38:23+00:00

No nonsense direct approach is what I think is the best. If she's interested, it's a yes, or else you're free to approach other. God job I'd say.

Scrotox81 · 2020-10-08T20:54:36+00:00

My uncle’s an old codger who loves to flirt with young women and he’s got game. When a girl tells him she has a boyfriend he’ll say “do you want another one?” Great way to break the tension and let her know it’s low stakes...but also, it lets her know you like her and who knows - it might plant a seed.

Similarly, if a woman says she’s married he’ll say “is it serious?” Or he’ll keep the conversation going and when it starts to wrap up he’ll say “so how much longer are you gonna be married for?” Always gets a laugh.

LordDeathScum · 2020-10-08T06:05:52+00:00

Rejection is the starting point, dont worry.

At the start i would HIT ON EVERY GIRL, pretty ,chubby, tall. Anything of the opposite sex till i became comfortable i have had stellar crashes, but for every crash i would gain experience and would made Me grow confidently so don’t worry! Have fun.

Later you will laugh at all your crashes!!!

NDex101 · 2020-10-08T18:41:39+00:00

Trying to pick up a woman who works at the venue requires a special type of game. These type of women are known as "Hired Guns" because they're hired for their looks. Dm me and I'll throw you a bone on how to approach.

Godisgoodkj142 · 2020-10-08T21:52:21+00:00

" I was scared if she would ditch me in mid-conversation and honestly I couldn't even be able to comeback from it "

You focused on yourself rather than the interaction. Just relax and have fun my dude... if you're relaxed and having fun and joking around, then she will too

Bidudeaus · 2020-10-08T04:43:56+00:00

Well done dude, make friends with rejection and in no time you’ll get used to it, your confidence will grow and they will notice, eventually you’ll get a yes.

Even very experienced cold alproachers get rejected mutiple times, so be proud you gave that first step.

benerdelyi · 2020-10-08T08:01:35+00:00

Always amazing to hear someone losing their CA virginity!

Griesthecat · 2020-10-08T19:34:21+00:00

As a girl, I can say that honestly don’t take it personally. A lot of girls that work in clubs/bars/restaurants never give there numbers, fb names, or instas to customers that come in just because it can make things complicated. They get creepy guys coming in and hitting on them all the time so they usually wanna keep their work life separate from private life even when normal nice guys like you come in. I’m sure you will have better luck next time and just be yourself!

clhawks · 2020-10-08T23:06:56+00:00

The asking straightaway never helps. If someone asked that of me I just said hello too I would be like what? Even if she was hot...

markcubelon · 2020-10-08T23:27:54+00:00

Hey, you tried. Thats more than most guys do.

KingCeddy24 · 2020-10-08T13:32:12+00:00

You did not mess up. She messed up. With attitude like that, many women wonder why men are terrified at the idea of approaching them normally.

Title	I did a cold approach for the first time
Author	lmfaoxxx
Upvotes	33
Comments	22
Date	October 7, 2020 11:07 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/j71kid/i_did_a_cold_approach_for_the_first_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-did-a-cold-approach-for-the-first-time.1503541 https://theredarchive.com/post/1503541

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