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[–]sassenach_JAMMF_38 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
If an attractive man can't carry an intelligent conversation or is too self involved he can't seduce me. I'm not interested in school boy charm alone. Been there, married that; never again.
[–]nobody7x7 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The fact that you married that speaks to its effectivness
[–]sassenach_JAMMF_38 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I was a fucking young idiot who ignored raging red flags and I paid dearly for it. Be careful of what you say.
[–]suckat_life 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What’re u gonna do, fight him?
[–]nobody7x7 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean just because it wasn't ideal doesn't mean it's not a factor. Doesn't matter what's logical. What's relevant is what actually effects it. Not saying others should follow. Just that it's part of the natural impulse.
[–]FaceInTheSpace 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The lockpicking lawyer would say it's 100% locks 😉
[–]zuluhedmaster 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was wondering if anyone noticed that 😂
[–]WeakEmu8 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Everything in life is 80% attitude/personality.
[–]Desperate-Gur-5730 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed! Who’s hand do you want holding yours when you die? That’s what matters.
[–]TheAncapOne 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
My question would be, do you handicap yourself, by not doing, all you can to "game"?
You're absolutely handicapping yourself, especially if your goals are casual sex with very attractive women. Women have physical desires, just like men.
How many attractive women do you see with unattractive men (especially in a casual sex context)? The most attractive women can basically choose any guy they want to have sex with, why would they not choose only from attractive guys?
There are 2 Levels of Attraction (Attraction vs Lust)
Why Losing Fat Matters Above All Else for Getting Laid
[–]Desperate-Gur-5730 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Because you’re shallow and trying to sell something. My little tummy is a built-in pillow for a lady that loves me.
[–]TheAncapOne 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not knocking "lady that loves me", but I'm focused on casual sex with super hot women. Which I don't think is a uncommon goal in this subreddit.
[–]Desperate-Gur-5730 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And this is why the US divorce rate is beyond 50%. I’m past the one-nighter crap. Gimme a pretty girl that loves Jesus and is better at math than I am! If you’ll take care of family book-keeping, I’ll do everything else!
[–]TheAncapOne 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Are you shaming casual sex in /r/seduction?
[–]MakeSail 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Is this Andy?
I agree about being fit and lean. I have more a dancer body (soccer) that body builder, but I am cut in my arms, chest, back and legs, with the V look. I have a low body fat ratio but not a six pack just a block of abs.
I was initially interested in your link because of the title for two levels of attraction in women. However, I have a different interpretation or the two levels, but to be fair mine only apply IRL encounters and not OLD; The first is initial attraction (before conversation IRL all visual) and the second mate value attraction (during conversation and connection).
IRL initial attraction is largely instinctual and women will flirt with a man they see as attractive. I think there is really no difference in initial attraction as describing as attraction or lust. To a certain extent lust is always implied.
Once you approach an interested women and have a conversation, this is where you demonstrate your mate value proofs in the process of making a connection. Connection leads to trust with leads to intimacy.
It is interesting to listen about men and their women conquests, with a sweeping broad brush. The reason being, while making a connection with a women I have to decide if I want sex, a relationship or nothing. I think it is a sign of maturity if you understand that uncovering a red flag could disqualify a woman. Just because she may lust after you, doesn't mean you want sex.
Any thoughts?
[–]TheAncapOne 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Not Andy. Just a follower.
Real life doesn't fundamentally change anything. Women "lust" after physically attractive guys, they don't lust after guys with "good game" or confidence.
Re-listen to the podcast, this is the opposite of what Andy is saying. Connection and trust can lead to intimacy, but physical attraction leads to lust -- which I think is what most reasonable guys on /r/seduction are looking for.
We're not talking about some extreme 0.1% elite male physique. What we're talking about is completely achievable by most guys in 3 to 5 years of work. What reason do you have to not pursue this goal? Spending 3 to 5 years working on "confidence" and "game" is not going get women to lust after you.
[–]MakeSail 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think OLD is basically for introductions. When you meet women IRL that is when you can escalate to sex. Would you agree?
If you are fortunate enough that she is actually attracted to you IRL after corresponding and setting things up with apps, then my point is, she is not cognitively trying to understand and identity her emotions, all she knows is she is attracted.
I disagree about most reasonable guys are looking for lust. I think they are looking to have sex. Intimacy (sex) only comes after connection and trust, however minuscule the relative proportions.
I am curious though, you say you are a follower. What does this mean? Do you use him as a coach? or do you actually implement his advice?
Other than the things you have already mentioned, can you give a vetted example of one of the most important things you have learned from Andy and tried IRL that has led to success with women and intimacy?
Thanks.
[–]Desperate-Gur-5730 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Attitude/personality. A couple years ago I was at a bar with some buddies, and I saw a smoking hot pseudo cowgirl (straight out of Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” video) dancing. I lazily on/off watched and gave a look.
I didn’t know going to a bar was part of the evening, so I wore a Kermit shirt, khaki cargo shorts and Sketchers sandals (+bug spray). A few buddies nodded they were going out for a smoke, sounded good. I passed her on my way out, smiling, leaned closer, and said “I don’t know how to dance, but you sure do!” She replied “It’s easy, I’ll teach you!” With her devastating eyes and smile, she took my hand... I’ll sum up by saying if not for pants in the way, we’d have made a baby right there. EVERY man in this packed bar with their fancy chains and shirts and was watching, trying to cut-in; she shut them all down and stayed with me... the rest of the night and far after was amazing, and all the hustling G’s were nodding their respect to the guy in the Kermit shirt & bugspray...
I don’t know or use or practice “lines”. I tend to say whatever comes to mind in the moment. Always respectful, always fun, and just the right partial-squint look in my eyes and sly smile.
“Cherry Pie” music video girl without even trying- most importantly, without being fake.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (44 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Desperate-Gur-5730 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You say that with a bit of a “princess” attitude. You could be a bombshell, but your attitude wouldn’t make me glance twice.
[–]dluis7103 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
thats super fair tbh, im into more cute girls not certainly hot girls but if im not attracted then there would be no point.
[–]Gh3tt0-Sn4k3 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I agree, but not everybody is attracted to somebody with a gym body
[–]Desperate-Gur-5730 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well said! I left my 6-pack in my other life! Lol!
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gh3tt0-Sn4k3 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, but the OP is going to the gym to try to look more attractive. Just wanted to point that, lol, no need to call me mam
[–]sheuvvie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
cool. also sorry about that, it's normal and common courtesy to refer to people as ma'am or sir where i live
[–]Desperate-Gur-5730 -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow! You sound so shallow! I happen to find women with cut abs and such not typically my style. You do realize was happens to all of those muscles in time, right? They turn to fat. I’m guessing you’re the type that would ask for a “pre-nup”. You’ll be happier the sooner you change your outlook.
[–]Demnian1422 -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link
So how manny out of 10 people you find attractive?
[–][deleted] 5 years ago* (28 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fair enough
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]mmkthxbye[M] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stay polite.
[–]mmkthxbye[M] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Stay Polite.
[–]jester070993 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
my apologies
[–]Demnian1422 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago* (16 children) | Copy Link
If you were a bit brighter you might have guessed that I was talking about random people on the street. The ones that populate about 95% of the world? I didn't describe them on purpose because you could read the question as a general one, and not put my understandings of beautiful onto you. Why would someone on the internet ask you about how many of 10 models you are attracted to.
And why are you asking what they looks like? What answer do you expect? If I described you a mix of 10 Brad Pit, Chris Hemsworth and Michael B. Jordan looking dudes, it's clear you'd say 8 out of 10.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]Demnian1422 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Yes it is a broad question and I explained why I asked it like that.
And when we are talking about aggressive you are the one who said that my question was "the dumbest you've ever read". Isn't that insulting my intelligence?
I didn't ask for your advise, I asked for information. And I didn't get it with your first reply, but with your last.
This sub is mostly good, but if there's anything you might take out of our little chat is that if you start insulting first, you shouldn't expect not to be insulted back. Its hard to listen to people and hear them out if they start attacking from the getgo.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]Demnian1422 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
So you wouldn't find it insulting if I said that your little hilarious rant is pathetic?
Yes, I think its a good question. Because I can answer it. - Out of 10 women on the street I find 2 out of 10 attractive. I want to specify that I am talking about women around my age group.
I won't click the link. I said its mostly good not that it's all good, so I believe you when you say there are cringy stuff here, I mean who are we kidding. I dont need the proof. But one or few very bad posts don't speak for the entirety of the sub. I can just as easily link you one great post and say to you "Here, see? It's all good".
And also it seems like you were frustrated at something else before we started our chat. So please don't take out your frustration on me. I get you but its hard to have a productive conversation with someone who as I said previously - attacks you from the get-go.
[–]Demnian1422 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
You are welcome to leave then if its not your thing. Simple.
[–]sheuvvie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
straight answer: 50/50. both are equally important, and i'm saying this as a woman
[–]Mob_Shigeo 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol brutal it never even began.
[–]revente 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Online dating 95% looks
Real life its
Looks>Confidence/Body language>Money/Status>>>>Words.
If you have the best game but are mediocre you'll still fail competing against model like dude with okayish game.
[–]Demnian1422 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I think it heavily depends on the group you are aiming at. Good looks will win over personality and confidence for girls below 27. After that age women have had few bad apples and have had their share or good looking fukboys. And to be honest it's the same with guys. Let's not pretend we don't look at beautiful women thinking that if we dated them or had sex with them we would get status and acceptance from our peers.
We all look at looks first and we want for someone beautiful to be attracted to us. But after being with few beautiful people you start seeing it as unimportant and you can see how shallow some of them are. Then its personality over looks. Happened to me, then I forget about it and then happens again. Check out "The Halo effect".
[–]revente 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah i was just talking about the most competetive market.
But i don't think i agree with the latter part of the post. Beautiful girls that are great people absolutely do exist. Sexual attraction to me is one of equally important pillars of a relationship, and i would not compromise when it comes to looks. Just look harder for a quality mate (as i actually did).
[–]Demnian1422 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yeah I agree. I didn't say that all beautiful people are shallow, that's why I said "some". Its actually impressive and even more attractive when beautiful people are also good and kind and smart. I met few last year and it was refreshing not to fall into the stereotype.
[–]lawcontor1 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For me, an older male, it’s mostly brains then sensuality....
[–]laggerzback 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn’t say 80/20. You have to find out what you can work with and be confident about it.
I knew a guy that basically made girls melt like butter simply using his voice. And he was pretty average looking. Looks can help, but ultimately it’s what you can sell and how charismatic you are
[–]TheEndTrend 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As a former beta blue-pill dude, I have to think that physical attraction is at least 50% for women. God knows I didn’t have great game, but I still got laid plenty, so I must be attractive, haha
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Personality absolutely is critical yet Idk I've gotten the feeling looks matter more than you think based on my failed experiences, I've had girls who liked me but I never was super popular when I lacked self awareness of how bad I looked, I'm working on my look. Getting closer tho.
For the in demand girls i think you need big dick energy tbh these days or at least something that sets you apart & I think looking good helps at least with girls under 27 I'm almost 27 but I still wanna go for younger girls because I still look younger than I am and can get away with it which is a good thing, go figure lol
If there’s a Kelly Kapowski factory out there, I wouldn’t say no to a tour. Don’t just look for “hot couples”, look for “happy couples”, because they’re actually getting it right!
[–]l3rannon 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would say it varies on different people. I'd say it's more 50/50. If you don't have the looks that person likes then you have a near 0% chance. There's some circumstances where personality wins over looks... Rarely. There's been a couple times personally.... Where I didn't initially find someone attractive physically until I started talking to them. I eventually started getting attracted to them once I got to know them.
I have a friend who is skinny, not fit at all, looks like a nerd, not filthy rich, but he always hangs out with a lot of girls, very funny , charismatic, intelligent, confident. I may be more good looking than him but he wins at all those other traits. And that's all the girls give him attention and want to be around him.
[–]scoteeho 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you show me kindness, an intelligent in-depth conversation, emapthic and a caring nature, those in itself is what I regard as attractive rather than just what is on the outside.
It's 50% you, 50% her.
[–]Moderatorrecyclablebanthas[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you look ok, not the best not the worst, and you do cold approach, is the attitude, that counts the most?
Get a bunch of dudes in a room. Ask them what their 10s are. There's going to be a lack of consensus. One dude's 10 will be another dude's 7 or 6.
And it's the same with women's taste in men.
Much of what's considered "attractive" is subjective.
This makes it problematic to try to pin down what "okay" looks are. What is, "okay," "best," or "worst" varies according to personal taste.
This is precisely why attitude and confidence can make a huge difference.
But at the end of the day, all you can do is maximize your chances. A girl might be into you, or she might not. It boils down to her personal tastes and whether the guy shoots himself down by assuming she's not interested.
I was thinking, a little bit more exercise won't hurt. The problem is, I don't like going to the gym for "personal reasons".
Being vague doesn't help when you're asking for help.
What reasons do you have?
Going to the gym or not will affect which demographic of women are into you. It doesn't determine whether any women would be interested. Some like a fit guy, and others don't care as long as you aren't a complete slob.
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[–]sassenach_JAMMF_38 26 points27 points28 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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