Driving a Conversation Sexually?

Iloveyou-Iknow · 2015-05-02T13:17:37+00:00

Sexual communication developed long before we had spoken language, so you can't say "sexual things" and hope to turn her on.

You drive the "interaction" sexually, what you say doesn't matter, the conversation doesn't matter. Your body language, voice tone, pauses, voice volume, eye contact are things you can put to use for sexual communication.

David DeAngelo has an audio series called "Sexual Communication" but it alone won't help you unless you get the feel for it by watching movies and doing the exact things on women you approach for a few months.

You don't even have to talk. You can stand with a woman, and get to the point where you still want "it" without saying one word.

caesarfecit · 2015-05-02T18:36:26+00:00

First off, kino is the true language of sexual communication. Its hard for her to feel comfortable with you sexually when the touch barrier is still intact, and the more comfortable you are with each other's bodies, the easier and more congruent overt sexual communication is.

If she's shy sexually, your kino should be rapport building rather than provocative and vice versa for more sexually open girls. Start at the outside of her body and work your way in. If she's comfortable enough to sit on your lap or grind on you or start kinoing you herself (beyond friendly kino) you should be thinking about making out with her.

Next, you need to gradually escalate how you talk about sex. Start by cracking wise and talking about sex somewhat impersonally (i.e. not about yourself and not about her). Then you talk about yourself sexually, what you like and dislike, what good sex means to you. Remembering that sex is no big deal and keeping the mood light and playful and most especially non-needy.

Then you talk about sex directly with her. Ideally by this point you've kissed her or are heading in that direction. Playful sexual roleplaying is good. A great move is to make a polarizing verbal escalation, and then act like you were just asking her what time it was. This places the decision entirely in her hands how she will respond and provided she's comfortable, she'll likely reciprocate because nobody wants to be a buzzkill.

The other big key to successful sexual communication is calibration. I can't stress this enough. Good calibration raises your confidence, and strengthens rapport. You have to be able to get a fix on how comfortable she is and how aroused she is. You also much make sure to never be more invested in a sexual outcome than she is. Almost no girls like guys who are way more invested than she is, it's one of the very very few universal traits of women.

Finally...make and hold eye contact. If she looks you in the eyes, you best better look her straight back. With shy girls especially, you musn't be afraid, as failing to hold eye contact makes you look unsure and shifty. Let her draw on your confidence.

And most of all, do not force it. Nothing kills sexual attraction and rapport faster than talking about sex awkwardly and incongruently.

bones_and_love · 2015-05-02T13:45:21+00:00

complimenting her
talking about sex and relationships in general
joking with her, like messing with her when she says 'that's what she said candidate sentences. Childish but it makes the convo less boring.

recyclablebantha · 2015-05-02T14:04:37+00:00

I wasn't able to find a point where I could drive the convo sexually or more flirty, nothing happened after this and we sort of drifted away in the party eventually, Not necessary. The reason they drifted away was because the conversation was allowed to wither, probably because you let your end of it die because you thought you had to make it blatantly sexual when you didn't.

1) Once you've passed the general exchanges, where can you jump in and add elements that drive the convo more flirtatiously?

There's no rule of thumb for this. Some girls you can start right in and others take time. You must pay attention to the girl to know.

2) When in this situation, how do you ask a girl back to your place when it's at a different place?

If you're getting along really well and it seems like people are about to tel you to "get a room," then you ask her if she wants to get some food or something at some place nearer to your place. Then you leapfrog to that place and after that, to your place.

Or if it's going really well and there aren't any of her friends there to judge her, you can ask her if she wants to get out of there.......

A_Suffering_Panda · 2015-05-02T12:32:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rangamatchstick · 2015-05-02T18:06:42+00:00

Sexual questions but start light, tease her about sexual joke just try to not come across as immature and be confident (will take time).

Quanginni · 2015-05-02T21:50:31+00:00

Sit as close as possible.
get touchy
face to face, eye contact and smile

Its hard if your already sitting far from each other and talked casually for a while, you you need to reset it by moving to another spot where you get close, or immediately when they leave, you get closer. Then do something immediatly that make her laugh or excited so you can place your hand on her without it being weird. From here its pretty intimate already no matter what you are talking about.

as for conversation, just be dirty minded about everything and open about it. But get intimate first or else it will just be that you are casually dirty minded like a personality which she is just gonna take as a trait and not where the conversation is headed.

JizzKhalifa420 · 2015-05-02T22:45:00+00:00

In this case it sounds like you were golden, it was just the two of you alone in the room, just move in for the kiss at that point and tell her "let's get out of here." Every interaction with a woman has a "make or break" point - that one chance that you need to man up and seize, or you instantly lose the girl. It takes a lot of time and practice to recognize it if you aren't a natural, so don't sweat it, just get back out there and keep gaming. If you miss this point, you lose a lot of momentum, and you can still get the girl, but it will require more work.

2015-05-03T17:44:58+00:00

Start complimenting her and look into her eyes. You'll know when the time is right to start touching her (gently at first!) when looking into her eyes. Start maybe by putting your hand on her thigh (this works all the time I'm telling you!) then go in for the kiss! Once you start making out chaaaa ching! You got it :)

bones_and_love · 2015-05-02T16:25:21+00:00

The best thing I can say is behave the way your desires are telling you to. If you want a woman sexually, as a simple example, looking into her eyes and touching her arm are two simple things that you probably want to do. Just unleash a bit and roll with the assumption that your actions and words will be accepted - of course, filter through your desires so that your expression of it is reasonable and not harassment. Part of that would be stopping the expression if she indicates no interest.

PowerSeductionWar · 2015-05-02T14:59:43+00:00

1) Once you've passed the general exchanges, where can you jump in and add elements that drive the convo more flirtatiously?

invert this and set up a flirty/sexual frame right off the bat and once that's out the way you can have your general chit chat.

2) When in this situation, how do you ask a girl back to your place when it's at a different place?

If you have to ask about this I wouldn't try going for it. When a convo is going good you hit "state" and everything falls into place.

If you don't hit state the convo was probably stale and you wouldn't have gotten far anyway

llamabro · 2015-05-02T11:57:21+00:00

My two cents;

Bear in mind I'm no player, nor pimpmatic machine. But a love maker and a toy.

In my past I've been quiet, but girls always came up to me, I played the elusive seductive guy without ever knowing it most my life. And I never took advantage of it. Now out of high school and in college that shit doesn't work when I now desire it. Go figure haha.

So typically how I have learned (5 dates and 3 hook ups this month). Is it's all a numbers game, you have to feel the girl out(emotionally not physically [yet]). If she is really interested in any minor conversation you guys have, calmly ask up front if it's an okay option, but be open to rejection and (what I do) is offer an alternative. Or give her a "distraction" while at your house. Like baking. Bitches. Love. Baking. Haha. All jokes aside. I find that being up front and direct works best. It leaves out any doubts you have after going to bed wondering "omg is she into me?" And staying up all night.

I just wanted to feel like I was helping. I'm probably terrible at seduction. XD

Title	Driving a Conversation Sexually?
Author	sweetyoungdick
Upvotes	123
Comments	55
Date	May 2, 2015 10:55 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/34m1xi/driving_a_conversation_sexually/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/driving-a-conversation-sexually.1387582 https://theredarchive.com/post/1387582

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