exasperated, man..

TooHoly999 · 2018-04-07T05:06:05+00:00

I have no idea what it's like to be autistic. I can understand that you were dealt a bad hand in life and you're here to seek help. That's good. It means you haven't given up Game yet. You write really well, and, solely from your writing, I would have never guessed you had a learning disability.

I wouldn't recommend escorts anyway. The thrill of Game is the chase. It's why I wouldn't just pay to switch bodies with the best powerlifter in the world if I had the chance.

There are two reactions to measuring progress; the first is looking at the goal as the top of the mountain, and the second is looking at the goal as the entire trail. Some people can just look at the top of the mountain and will themselves there. I can't. I have to enjoy the trail. I'm a very bad driver, and I have to remind myself that driving is going to continue to be painful if I see it only.as means to an end to get my license. I have to see it as a milestone necessary to become a man. I believe, from reading your post, you are using a summit mindset when you are more of a trail guy. If you're not having fun with women, and only see them as a way for you to lose your virginity, then you will not be motivated to approach.

The internet is a poor method to practice ones social skills because in the long run it doesn't really matter. I'll never see anyone on Seddit unless they do a lair, and most people online are the same way.

In online dating, matches are based off looks only. You don't necessarily have a good chance to convey your personality through the internet, so potential mates have 3-4 pictures to go off of. A lack of matches online is not an entire rejection of you as a person.

Hobbies and clubs are a great way to meet women, especially for someone with your weaker areas, because conversation material is directly in front of you. If you are in a room full of board games, you don't have to talk about Family, Occupation, Recreation, or Dreams at first, you can just talk about the board games! Sometimes I struggle to think of things to say as well, so I sympathize with you on that front.

I'm 6 foot, a lean 220, but I still have to put myself out there if I want to get laid. I have friends that are very good looking and they don't have girlfriends regularly because they're not willing to talk to girls. Alternatively, some of the best PUAs ever were not conventionally attractive.

Everyone has something to offer women, Hell, if you're that much older you might remind some girl of her dad!

This rings true for anything that you do in life, but I play chess with my uncle a lot. He's probably one of the most street smart people you'll ever meet. He's unemployed, but he has very good spatial awareness. I get beat every night but I have fun playing. You've got to do the same with pickup

what-diddy-what-what · 2018-04-07T06:55:33+00:00

If you think you have no worth compared to others, why would you expect a woman to think otherwise. You need therapy, not pickup advice. Once you love yourself, then you can work to have others fall for you as well.

astrokidd · 2018-04-07T09:06:33+00:00

The reason I'm exasperated is I cannot make any real progress.

Have you read sidebar? If not, check out the sidebar before going out and hitting on girls.

Here's a little gem from sidebar.

Is Your Life in Order?

Pickup and seduction is not a cure for depression, loneliness, low self esteem, or poor health, and these can hurt your game in dramatic ways. If you have problems in any of these areas, you should begin working on them as part of your process of learning game. If you're good on these counts, skip on down to Beginning Concepts.

Work on your depression. Many sedditors have recommended Feeling Good by David D. Burns. There's also a reddit for that.

If you're having psychological issues, pick up won't cure anything, and it WILL make things even worse if you're basing your self esteem on external results. You'll have to first tackle those psychological issues first and then try to pick up girls. If you do not have rock solid inner game, read the book "Feeling Good", it's a pure gem. Once you're completely cured from depression, girls will be begging to suck your cock. This is my promise.

Braydawg9 · 2018-04-07T09:54:11+00:00

Bro online dating isnt a rat race. I meet 90% of my bitches there and I have a good success rate and I'm not 6 foot, I'm good looking but I'm not like Zac Efron or Channing Tatum. I am a college dropout living on my grandmas couch, and I cant even keep a job and dont even have a drivers license. Dude honestly pay attention to what this sub tells you. Its done wonders for me. Its really more about how you see yourself. I've noticed that when you act more confident, you actually feel more confident which translates into less flakes. I'm working on myself, eating right and hitting the gym. Its not gonna change overnight. I accepted that so why dont you?

DrBalance · 2018-04-07T14:34:58+00:00

Then I explain that I'm in my 30s and can't pull my weight in life, and yet I still get suggestions to approach anyway. I think the concept makes some sense--trying can't hurt--the problem is the reality of it. How am I going to go from meeting some chick to getting a date and getting some action--all of these steps--with the kind of life and disability I have? Does anyone look at the odds?

The other side of this reality is that you have to do something if you want anything to change. Just to put it bluntly, you are who you are, the situation you are in is the situation you are in, and you can't whine it away on the internet (trust me, I spent a year or 2 trying that myself - no amount of anger at the world or women actually does anything except destroy your own psyche further). Well, you can control your situation by getting fit and healthy within whatever limits you have, and maximise your looks, but there's also no point waiting until that end point, because it doesn't end. So do it all while approaching. It should just be part of life. You can't go into a world final of <insert sport here> and hit 3 home run goals if you never played before, so you're never going to get the great girl until you're good at it. The work has to be put in. Bootcamps and reading books (to some extent) will accelerate the process, but only if you're taking the action.

The question I'm going to ask now is how many cold approaches have you actually done? Basically zero. So yeah. You're going to have to try. Even just asking for directions, saying thanks, then walking away is a start. And then you might realise nothing bad happens as such.

I would recommend RSDMax's video program 'fearless', it's more about inner game and destroying your limiting beliefs. I haven't done all of it, just watched a few intro hours of it, but he does hammer it into you. There are ways to find it if you can't afford it.

Dating973 · 2018-04-07T09:39:07+00:00

Maybe you can meet someone with similar challenges and connect? But I think socialization is the way to go. The more practice you get the better you’ll be at learning all the nuances in verbal and nonverbal convo that individuals with ASD might not ever grasp. Interact with as much women there too

G-Dalf · 2018-04-07T15:09:57+00:00

Then I explain that I'm in my 30s and can't pull my weight in life, and yet I still get suggestions to approach anyway. I think the concept makes some sense--trying can't hurt--the problem is the reality of it. How am I going to go from meeting some chick to getting a date and getting some action--all of these steps--with the kind of life and disability I have? Does anyone look at the odds?

This is what really stuck out to me - there is some awesome advice in this thread already, but I'll add my two cents. The first cent is that, like others have said, it's all in your head. I get you're facing some battles, but no one is going to fight them for you. No one is going to hand you an easy solution. If you REALLY want to work on them, it will 100% be up to you to make that conscious decision. So will you or not?

The second cent is you're approaching improvement the wrong way. Of course the odds of you hitting up a club and taking a girl home are very low...but Michael Jordan's odds of winning an NBA championship were also pretty fuckin low when he got cut from his high school basketball team.

Know what he did? Practiced on himself like a maniac and improved one step at a time. He made the team, then played in college, then played in the NBA. And even when he was drafted, no one knew he'd be as great as he was.

You have to take this one step at a time - the odds of you getting action tomorrow is low, but what about if you started attending some social events where you feel comfortable? What are the odds that you could make some friends there, have some fun and build confidence? Fast forward a few weeks, and now you're going to some events, made some friends and are a little more confident - what are the odds that you could start holding better conversations with women? Probably a bit higher. Fast forward a month or two, you're now hanging out with friends more, attending more social gatherings, maybe going to clubs here and there - what are the odds THEN that you could hold a decent conversation with a girl and get her number? Probably even higher than before. And this just keeps on building as you continue working on yourself.

Hope this makes sense and sorry for using the cliche Michael Jordan example, but if you shift your focus and perspective, you can 100% make small improvements that will lead to big changes!

Kenic_In_MD · 2018-04-07T20:52:46+00:00

Have you tried trying to better yourself? Mental illnesses are hard to deal with for sure. But try working on yourself like your speech patterns and the way you act around women. Have you ever tried talking to a girl with no intention of doing anything? Just talking, or doing more activities with other people? At this age making new friends gets much harder, but it's still possible. Just gotta be at the right places.

TheXXL · 2018-04-08T00:16:54+00:00

How many million times are you going to write the same thing again? How many times people have told you the same things, and still you do not even try...

I got to the point where I understand that you are only here to gain compassion rather than finally getting your ass up and doing what hundreds of people have told you over the years he past year. You know what to do. It won't get easier just because you repeat the he same self loathing over and over again.

zfgee · 2018-04-07T04:51:02+00:00

It's all in your mind. Keep telling yourself it will be hard, and it will be.

2018-04-07T11:58:10+00:00

Two rules in conversations. Observe and ask questions. Everyone loves talking about themselves so observe the person what they're wearing, any accents, etc and talk about them.

Conotocaurious85 · 2018-04-07T14:27:57+00:00

It is not your fault that you have ADD, mild autism and learning problems. It is your responsibility to make yourself happy.

Dating973 · 2018-04-09T08:42:09+00:00

Well if you think like that you can’t. You really have to like things about yourself in order to attract anyone, not just women.

Jerm18 · 2018-04-11T06:37:40+00:00

There’s a mountain of txt here but I read through most of it. You can only do what you allow yourself to do. It seems like you’re having a tough time and I don’t blame u. FYI I also have mental problems and it’s a bitch but u gotta jus drag em along. Idk if you might need to practice even harder or pay for a coach. Save money and just do it. I would also join a lair and become a tad bit more social. Almost every time I hooked up there was a huge ass group of ppl or a party an everyone mingled an shit jus happened. Be friendly and optimistic. I can’t stress those 2 enough an the confidence will come slowly. I’m a huge nerd and a gamer and I liken it to stats. No one I know starts off with a level 30 character. We were legit all ones at one point. You’re a little older but there will be guys reading this out there who have it worst who can barely talk. Like literally who are well into their 50’s. It’s a fight and a never ending one. If you keep looking at what u don’t have and not what u do have then you’ll always fail. I’m hardly ever harsh like this but I do want you to succeed. Trust me, we ALL DO. I would jus keep at it and do the little things we all suggested. There are no shortcuts. Some of us were dealt the short end of the stick and we have to make do. When u do land that girl of your dreams you’ll feel all the better. Good luck, you got this...

Title	exasperated, man..
Author	Aeon199
Upvotes	18
Comments	38
Date	April 7, 2018 4:35 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8aft8v/exasperated_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/exasperated-man.1444398 https://theredarchive.com/post/1444398

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