Eye Contact

MeinTeil9 · 2013-11-23T00:51:46+00:00

Definitely smile more but, no, people generally DON'T make eye contact.

Especially Asians/Middle-Easterners/some-Europeans.

You're probably not intimidating as long as you open up and talk more.

I once went up to a very huge buff muscular guy and asked him for tips, and he was so very friendly once you talk to him. It may make you less approachable at worst--but it makes it super easy for YOU to approach.

ithearrow · 2013-11-23T01:25:43+00:00

you are sending the wrong messages with your eyes. You're eyes should be warm, inviting, and geniune. People can sense when you force eye contact, make it happen naturally.

If you don't understand this, look at some politicians such as bill clinton who have god level eye contact.

I suggest you read eye contact by michael ellsburg. It'll teach you how to be a pro in eye contact in 2 weeks.

Afeni02 · 2013-11-23T05:23:11+00:00

(5'4"), and very muscular (200 lbs, ~15% BF)

Holy shit brah! I'm 5/4 as well only 140lbs, not to be weird but I'm very interested in what a 200lbs guy my height looks like! (No homo)

To your question, I found that it's the same for me. Once I started making a conscience effort to make eye contact, I realized that most people look at the ground or pretty much don't make eye contact. The key here is to not take it personally. But also, smile as if you just got done laughing, that smile will make you look more open.

Also, what are your lifts if you don't mind me asking?

SnackyPack · 2013-11-23T11:47:02+00:00

What nationality are you? I'm an asian male standing erect at 5'5. I haven't had any problems with eye contact. I'm average/athletic build. I smile a lot though. Maybe you look too beastmode. 5'4 200lbs low body fat... hulk action

sunnydiv · 2013-11-23T08:38:22+00:00

from what i have seen,

eye contact has a lot to do with 'mirror neurons' or what tyler calls 'law of state transference' (what you feel she feels)

so make sure you arent projecting/feeling neediness, or aggressiveness, or any other such repulsive feels

TheGreatGoatGod · 2013-11-23T05:51:20+00:00

This is something I noticed too in the last few weeks. I just boiled it down to people being A.D.D. and noises slightly catch attention. but I really look forward to seeing what other people are saying about this.

ohwilson · 2013-11-23T11:47:57+00:00

It might have something to do with those factors, but realistically who makes eye contact with every single person. I think it's weird if you're just walking down the street and are making eye contact as eye contact is often followed by smiles or nods or conversation and most people just don't really want to get into that while walking to the grocery store. I think it's good to do as practice for people who have trouble making eye-contact, but it's not your end goal to stare every one down. I eventually found a good balance between eye contact and looking away. Staring at someone is not sexy. It's even weird when you catch a chick looking at you and she just keeping looking at you even after you look away. The appropriate reaction would be for her to smile when you catch her looking at you and then turn away. That's sexy and an invitation which applies for both sexes.

VonStraussKoc · 2013-11-23T11:50:27+00:00

Depends on how you look at them. Different types of eye-contact can come off as threatening or intrusive. I read somewhere that criminals can effectively use eye-contact to remain invisible on a busy street by noticing potential witnesses first. That initial shock of being noticed causes said witness to instinctively look away and pretend not to be noticed. When they can still sense that they're being watched (2nd glance confirmation), people generally try even harder to not be noticed and look away for longer periods of time, particularly when the gaze remains ambiguous or threatening. This gives a crim an even greater window of opportunity to do what they need to do while witnesses actively look away in an attempt to not be noticed. I played around with this a lot while I was still at uni and it didn't matter that I was a very petite non-threatening Asian guy. People still looked away and noticeably tensed up the more I observed them.

I recommend playing around with this when you're walking around on the street and walk within someone's line of sight. Best thing that works is when you're both walking towards each other on the same path. You become a more important obstacle when you transition from background to foreground and quite often they'll have to check to see whether they might have to move out of your way. BE WARM and smile (or just a half smile, like the day is just beautiful). Also, since you're a muscular guy - you might seem a bit intimidating at a glance. Use your smile and your body language to politely acknowledge someone and dispel any judgement.

You're right about conveying "warmth" and as a shorter guy you're at an advantage. For me its very easy to just be warm and non-threatening (although I am now a fit and toned 5'3" 125lbs guy, so I hardly look threatening anyway), and I sometimes unconsciously cock my head to the side a little, as if i'm thinking of asking a question. Example - instead of going with the whole "gotta make eye-contact" approach (which seems threatening) I go in thinking "I wonder how they'll respond to being noticed?" If they look back and return the smile - EUREKA! That answers my question, and then i'm happy, which then makes them happy... Its magnetic.

dbabbitt · 2013-11-23T17:14:49+00:00

I'll bet you're an American, right? It's cultural. MKs - missionary kids - on furlough from places like Papua New Guinea and Myanmar have to be TRAINED not to stare at Americans while they talk to them. It creeps them out, because Americans don't look people in the eye when they talk.

seanic02 · 2013-11-24T05:31:55+00:00

okay i have the same exact problem, at first i thought it was because i was ugly ( which i think i still am ). Women and men both would not look me in the eyes. I am 6`1 and just as built as you are so i thought i was intimidating. But i read a lot of posts which if you are interested in i will try to dig them up. Anyways i basically stopped thinking so much about how i came off to people and tried to be much more original and how do i put this, interested in them. But really interested not just pretending. And since then more people have been looking me in the eye but not enough so i am also still working on it as well.

7yphoid · 2013-11-23T04:22:35+00:00

Fucking manlets when will they learn.

Just kidding. But seriously, do you take steroids or something?

Title	Eye Contact
Author	lipchuck
Upvotes	13
Comments	27
Date	November 23, 2013 12:44 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1r9966/eye_contact/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/eye-contact.1303460 https://theredarchive.com/post/1303460

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