Fellow introverts, how do you get yourself into state?

enZT · 2014-03-31T22:22:52+00:00

I listen to my arrogant music playlist

Tombstone31 · 2014-04-01T00:39:54+00:00

I personally believe that being social is overrated, and I still have no idea what "state" is. There are a couple of reasons PUA's say you need to be social/be in state - these range from "raising your value" through looking like you're popular and having a great time, to just the fact that girls only like alpha males, and "alpha" = super outgoing. In my experience these are all BS.

In your case, though, I think your problem really is approach anxiety. If you really are just sluggish/not in the mood to talk, then you wouldn't be on here asking for advice on how to make yourself do something you don't want to do.

Instead, it seems to me that you do in fact want to approach, but you're not - this is approach anxiety. You're just not experiencing traditional approach anxiety in the day game environment because in your mind, approaching isn't even an option. You see these girls, and you don't even really consider approaching them.

If this is worth it to you, you'll have to place an inordinate amount of focus on it to get better. Go out on a weekend day with the explicit purpose to approach. After you get more approaches under your belt, focus on doing it during your normal routine on a weekday. The more you do it, the less you'll have to think about it

NotThatDroid · 2014-04-01T13:14:05+00:00

I was a pretty introvert guy, too. I didn't easily talk to people I didn't know. For example, I could be walking in town with a buddy, he starts chatting with a girl he knows and I don't, and I would easily stand there waiting for the convo to end for like 10 minutes. Never introducing myself.

Anyways, lurking here on this subreddit for a while I really picked up some good things to get into the right mind set.

Don't give a flying fuck

That's easily the most important I've learned! YOU are your own person, right? You live your life. I always layed low and didn't want to stand out too much because I was afraid I was making a fool of myself. I was afraid people would think I was ridiculous!

But fuck people! Why should I care what they think? I'm awesome, and if they're too blind too see that, too bad.

So that's what you want to accomplish mainly. KNOW you're awesome and you don't need other people to validate this. But how do you get confident enough to know you're awesome?

Getting more confident

This is the 'hard' part, if you will. Because it goes against everything an uncertain person thinks and feels. But it can be done, because I did.

I always make some sort of list in my head. Asking myself; why am I awesome? Why would other people hang out with me?

I'm funny
I'm witty
I'm good looking
I'm smart
I'm finishing up college and I got a good job lined up
I'm kind
Etc, etc

Just think about YOUR positive traits. What do people like about you? And then think; see: I'm fucking amazing! If they don't want to meet me, it's their loss.

So stop with the idea of: "Oh, she's nice! I wanna approach her, I hope she liks me" and start thinking: "Hey! She's nice, I think I can add value to her life in some way or another, let's hope she can add value to mine!" And then just approach her.

Once you've had a couple of succes with that, your confidence will rise and it will cost less and less time to get in that state of mind the next time.

Hope this helps ;)

fin8 · 2014-04-01T16:32:50+00:00

Cocaine

haveapresent · 2014-04-01T02:16:06+00:00

Bit of alcohol for me unfortunately. Works though.

theoman333 · 2014-03-31T22:27:32+00:00

Same here exactly. When I first found out about pickup I managed to be in state much more and then it slowly died down. I realize it's a part of who I am and I can't change it completely, which is okay. Things that help me are coffee, music, working out, not flapping for a few days.

alex0919 · 2014-03-31T23:38:03+00:00

Everyone has this to a degree, I don't care if you wake up, start talking to your cat, and don't stop until your cat is next to you when you pass out.

It's called social momentum, you just need to start approaching, maybe even working up to approaching women, to get the momentum going. Listening to some hyped up music, caffeine, working out, or whooping and hollering in your car (I know it sounds weird but it works!).

I go through this daily, I walk out of my bed room like an antisocial and walk back into it as an extrovert that loves to talk to people.

natephant · 2014-04-01T03:11:41+00:00

I usually have to go with girls, they just naturally talk more and are more excited. Puts me the correct mindset. If I go out with some guys or by myself I just wind up doing shots with the bartender until I black out.

Crisis88 · 2014-04-01T04:02:25+00:00

Mantra:
2 Steps to success;
Step 1: Assert Dominance
Step 2: There is no step two

FireMonkeyX · 2014-04-01T10:24:39+00:00

I'm an introvert, need a lot of alone time. For me personally the best thing is to not force things and make sure I'm at my best for valuable social engagements.

If I am not feeling social, and I go out, I will not perform my best whether it is hitting on girls or making friends with guys. I can feel how much effort it takes me, and how apathetic I am. In extreme cases, I will entirely shut down and become silent.

On the other hand when my energy is up I'm extremely confident and charming.

So can perform my best only a few times a week, so I try and align those with valuable social activities e.g. times when I know I will be meeting girls or new people.

Slut1 · 2014-04-01T16:03:19+00:00

Kanye West, pump that shit up.

TheBunBun54321 · 2014-04-02T08:15:59+00:00

I would suggest giving random peope you don't know, random complimdnts. It will make them feel good about themselves and in turn will make YOU feel good (in state)

drogean2 · 2014-04-02T15:49:44+00:00

alcohol and taking neutropics

long term? go out completley sober and continue to fail until you stop caring

rmbarnes · 2014-04-03T12:51:00+00:00

not in the mood to socialize

That's introversion

Not in a confident frame

That has nothing to do with introversion

sd420guy · 2014-04-01T01:59:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

KingAndre · 2014-04-02T03:01:10+00:00

I've got a simple trick to put me in state. Go to a gas station, small store, anywhere to buy a drink or snack. If there's a cute cashier there be a little flirty with them, try and make them laugh, anything to brighten their day. Heck, even if you're not into them you can still try and make their day a little less boring.

It'll feel good to try and it'll take but mere moments.

SingAlong_Original · 2014-03-31T22:27:10+00:00

Think of being an introvert a learned trait. It can be unlearned and you can be an extrovert.

Why? Thinking of yourself as an introvert isn't helping you be not that.

Just accept social settings and you'll come to like them in time, I can't give you a quick fix like "think about fucking every bitch in the venue". You must wait.

Title	Fellow introverts, how do you get yourself into state?
Author	Pedantic_Me
Upvotes	15
Comments	25
Date	March 31, 2014 10:00 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/21v6jj/fellow_introverts_how_do_you_get_yourself_into/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fellow-introverts-how-do-you-get-yourself-into.1368416 https://theredarchive.com/post/1368416

Comments