Haha, laughing so hard here right now.

So at the age of 22 finally had my first kiss. I didn't close though, the girl did all the moves! All I did was resist, but she managed to plow through my shields. And we decided to sleep together. And yeah I literally thought we were just going to sleep and I would have been content with it, but she started to rub her ass against my crotch. As drunk as I was, I remembered that it might be an IOI and started to touch her more intimate areas, clothes on of course. Not long after she guided my hand inside her pants. I freaked out a bit 'cause I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do. Then a calming whisper "Put it in" put me back on track again for a while. I couldn't see shit because it was all dark and I didn't expect the insides to feel like it did. I remembered reading a guide about this and used the "come hither" motion but I might have just poked around cluelessly.

I'm not sure if it was because of the anxiety or the alcohol or both, but I couldn't maintain a hard on and penetration didn't really work out that night so I called it quits and passed out.

Hard-case newbie? Fuck yeah. Do I suck shit? I do. Do I give a fuck? As a matter of fact I do. I actually feel a little shitty now...

But to encourage any kissless virgin that might be reading this, I actually tried to cockblock myself because I was scared. I was so scared that I can't even believe it. I told her she doesn't want anything to do with me 'cause I'm a fucking weirdo and inexperienced fucking loser. But she just pushed through all of it. And kissing was really easy in the end. Or atleast it felt natural from the start. I think I used the trick of pulling away first and she kept coming back.

And going to date nr. 2 this week The first date was awkward as fuck, but we laughed it off. Seriously, it was the most awkward hours I remember in my life, and I was surprised she wanted to see again at all. I already knew she was attracted to me, because of her hitting on me and asking me out, but I just couldn't believe she didn't run away after I showed her the highest possible level of awkward. I suppose the only way now is up...

tldr; Foreveralone social anxiety former depression guy got drunk and had "sex" after studying game for 6 months. Also had a "date" after and I had massive anxiety and no clue what to do, so I did nothing, she wanted to see again regardless. Protip: Start going to places and something might happen.