Getting discouraged

NaturalAFC · 2013-05-08T14:59:12+00:00

Give us an example to work with.

bl1y · 2013-05-08T14:13:06+00:00

It's automatically creepy because the only way people are allowed to meet up for a date, or talk, is if they already know each other based on the random group their given in their own social circle. For instance, unless I'm somehow pre-connected to these people (same class, work together, friend's friends) it's unheard of to approach. I know that's bullshit, but they wont get it past their heads.

You might think the social norms are bullshit, but there's not much you can do to change them. Instead, you need to learn to play within them. Once you're able to go out to bars it will become easier to approach complete strangers, but until that time, focus on what you can do.

If you need to work within social circles to not be seen as a creep, do it. Join more clubs, work the fringes of your own social circle to expand it, go to parties where you can meet friends of friends.

Beckon6 · 2013-05-08T23:59:27+00:00

Im in the same boat as you man and to be honest, high school girls are totally different from the girls that this targets. I have been doing the exact same thing you have been doing, and im having the similar problems. My advice, dont give up, and think of it as practice for the future.

WarehouseJim · 2013-05-08T15:11:12+00:00

One of the reasons you might be seen as a creep is body language. Obviously I'm not there to see but if you aren't approaching confidently and at ease, it will come off creepy. The tone of voice is also way more important than what you say. Lots of respect for getting started at 18. I would never have had the confidence at your age to approach a random girl at a coffee shop.

nfg91 · 2013-05-08T15:23:14+00:00

I'm almost 22 and believe me girls aren't any more mature in college than they are in highschool (for the most part). Like someone else mentioned, work around the social norms. If you feel like its creepy that you're just going up and talking to a girl that you don't know from class or through friends, just start by talking about her shoes or bracelet or something so it seems like you just wanted to comment on it. Then just simply change the convo: so i havent seen you around before, what year are you? then start talking about yourself- she wants to be a part of your world, not telling you about hers that she already knows. pretty soon you are comfortable, and say you have to leave but it was great meeting you, lets keep in touch. Also work on your body language, just look and act comfortable, and SAY how you feel. If you can tell she's a little awkward or confused or scared why you're talking to her just say how you just thought her shoes were cool and wanted to mention it.

thaway314156 · 2013-05-08T15:06:06+00:00

Sasha Daygame (look him up on YouTube) would sometime say "Don't worry I'm not a creep.". Give that line a try and see how it works? The delivery has to be convincing though. Psychologically I think even though that line might be full of crap and the girl knows that too, part of her brain will still be influenced and think "oh he's an okay guy."...

_groundcontrol · 2013-05-08T15:11:58+00:00

Like that other guy said yeah expand your social network. Also if your aproching women and they start off thinking your a creep you must be doing it wrong. I know i can only speak for my own Scandinavian culture but im sure it applies elsewhere aswell.

Dont start off with hi or something like that. You have to for example comment on a book their reading or something thats happening. For example "man the waiter sure takes his time". The conversation seems more natural if it seems like it just appears, dont make it like your trying to make it happen.

Come out as chill and relaxing, and im sure things will work better :)

HelloHiHello · 2013-05-08T15:15:57+00:00

Stop worrying about other people -- you can't change them.

Instead, realize that this has something to do with what you're doing. Keep this in mind, and if you're viewed as creepy, ask yourself, "what did I do that led to this result?"

Creepy isn't necessarily bad, either. If you're highly sexual, you can only be one of two things: someone a girl wants to fuck immediately, or creepy.

Much better to be creepy than nice, means you're doing something right.

That being said, work on your outcome independence. If you're okay to approach a girl and not mind in the slightest how she reacts, you'll find yourself rarely coming off as creepy.

IntrovertSuccess · 2013-05-08T15:17:58+00:00

This is one of the rare cases, because of the age of the girls, where I think doing a more indirect approach will work better. That way it can seem like you just happened to meet.

enriquex · 2013-05-08T15:57:23+00:00

As a 19 year old, this is how they act. It gets better once you get into Uni -- in high school everyone just inbreeds within their groups.

It is however still ok to approach girls out of school. In school though I wouldn't. For instance if you see the qt "Sarah" in the year below out having coffee it's alright to go have a chat outside of school, but in school when everyone's watching it's a bit weird plus the girls would probably get a tad nervous.

Who knows, though? Maybe your body language is off, maybe you lack a bit of confidence. My advice? Go to the gym. It's easy for others to like the way you look when you do. Plus, for some reason at our age girls seem to think it's a relatively big thing =\

recyclablebantha · 2013-05-08T19:30:26+00:00

However, most every girl I talk to takes me as a creep.

I also feel I usually open well too..... I think I do well with rapport..

If most every girl you talk to takes you as a creep, then NO, you are not usually opening well.

Because opening well would result in higher rates of success and none or almost nil occasions of being taken as a creep.

And if you're not opening well, then you're DEFINITELY putting the cart before the horse if you think that rapport is going well, too.

and I'm picking up on Kino too,

And let's back up the train a bit here. If you're not opening or building rapport well, then trying to kino escalate is probably not going well and probably contributing to you being taken as a creep.

but still nearly EVERY girl acts as if it isn't natural for a guy to approach a girl he doesn't know.

I feel like it must be because of the time and place.

It's automatically creepy because the only way people are allowed to meet up for a date, or talk, is if they already know each other based on the random group their given in their own social circle........ For instance, unless I'm somehow pre-connected to these people (same class, work together, friend's friends) it's unheard of to approach.

Uh, no. It's not the time or place. It's not that it's "not natural" for a guy to approach a girl he doesn't know. It's not that you need to be a friend of a friend or anything other excuse you've listed.

I know that's bullshit, but they wont get it past their heads.

I'm only 18, so forgive me if these are just how 17-20 year olds act, and I need to wait 3 years to meet more mature females. I don't want that though.

If you keep running into the same problem over and over again and you're the common denominator here..... let's back the train up, back to the the real bullshit here..... the fact that you're assuming your opening and rapport building are going well. If you're constantly coming off creepy, then you're not opening well or building rapport. You're failing to do these things well. Which boils down to a few things like confidence and paying MUCH better attention to the situation and to the girl.

n1nj4_v5_p1r4t3 · 2013-05-08T20:05:28+00:00

you answer: say hi to a large number of people without the intent of carrying a conversation. Hi and smile while moving on. You will very quickly notice how most people respond without words telling you they are busy and have things to do. A few will communicate with body language that they are ready for a conversation. Those are the ones you stop to talk to.

nahdawgnahh · 2013-05-09T06:42:01+00:00

Check out Day Bang by Roosh - he recommends an indirect style of daygame with a pretty nifty system that works well at coffee shops and similar places (a friend of mine has used it a lot and had good results). It might help you with the creepiness thing. In particular Roosh doesn't recommend any kino at all during the approach, which could maybe change your results?

I'm gonna take a slightly different tack from the other commenters here and say that people are probably acting like daytime approaches aren't normal because they're NOT normal. Most guys don't do daytime approaches (not counting shit like catcalling and other guaranteed-not-to-work-so-I-don't-have-to-make-myself-vulnerable tactics). So don't worry if they act like it's out of the ordinary. Just act like it's normal for you.

2013-05-08T16:56:49+00:00

If you're in highschool you don't do cold approaches lol. Use your social networks.

Title	Getting discouraged
Author	mikeldezky
Upvotes	5
Comments	17
Date	May 8, 2013 1:38 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1dxieu/getting_discouraged/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/getting-discouraged.1351982 https://theredarchive.com/post/1351982

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