Going out with the intent of having fun vs pulling?

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-02-19T02:21:07+00:00

We can always multitask. Having fun with a mission is still fun.

Dandys3107 · 2025-02-19T07:50:41+00:00

I think "having fun" is generally about putting yourself into that high energy and relaxed state, without stressing out to push through uncomfortable circumstances. Putting some work can also be a fun game, especially if it is something you enjoy doing and have decent results with. If you struggle to find motivation or you seem to fumble too often, maybe there is something wrong about your method, mindset, company, circumstances? Analyse feedback to figure out a better way.

CommanderBayou · 2025-02-19T00:51:14+00:00

In my opinion, if you're trying to pull, you have to go out with the intent to pull. Unless your a 'natural' as they are called, though I'm not sure 'naturals' do it without thinking about pulling.

There must be some sort of sexual tension/flirty vibes that makes it obvious to the girl what you're going for, that man to woman connection. As for having fun, go out with your boys to have fun but just pick your intent that night.

Of course this is what works for me so take it with a grain of salt

epimpstyle · 2025-02-19T11:11:05+00:00

I know it’s common advice to always go out with the intent of having fun and letting things naturally occur.

I'd like to see an average-looking guy having fun and girls appearing out of nowhere near him, so he doesn't have to make any effort. Where can I see this?

I can't let things happen naturally; if I don't make an effort, nothing will happen. When I go out, I know if I am going to have fun with my friends or if I am going to pick up girls. In the last five years, I have never, not even once, gone to a club/bar/event/patio with the thought of having fun and having a girl join us, never, not even by mistake!

HomelessMilkman · 2025-02-19T11:54:22+00:00

'Fun' is incredibly valid, if you know what it means.

the women approach me because of my positive, fun energy, this just doesn’t happen.

This does happen, constantly. If a loud bang goes off, will everyone turn and look at the noise? Of course, there's too much energy output to not look. If everyone is stood still like statues and one guy is moving around loose swingling his arms around, who do you look at? If someone is louder, more certain, more enthusiastic, who do you listen to? Whether something catches your attention is relative to all of the other stimulous competing for your attention.

Again, it's relative. It's obviously much easier to get someones attention if you address them directly; but, you still can do so by being more fun than the other competing stimulous.

Being tense, needy, 'in your head', is 'anti-fun'; you're not attracting at that point, you're repelling. Whether you're attractive enough still depends on whether you're more fun than the other options. Luckily, the bar is very low, most guys are too tense and 'anti-fun' so having any fun could be good enough but it's still relative; "lounging around" doesn't particularly seem 'enough' to attract attention in the way you describe it and the obvious feedback you're getting, it's not 'fun and engaging' enough, it's not a spectacle.

rich_god · 2025-02-19T09:31:06+00:00

It’s because you’re missing half the sentence. It’s going out with the intent of having fun and create genuine connections. That means you’re still approaching people and initiating, but without an agenda or being result-oriented like trying to have x amount of IGs or something. But sometimes having a challenge like trying to kiss 10 people in one evening can be fun also.

The real reason for all of this is just to get you out of your head and more in the present moment.

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-02-19T12:06:26+00:00

Yes. It's kind of bullshit. It was a " mindset" made up by coaches who can't deliver results. That way if the student fails at least he had fun . It's bullshit.

You should go out with the intent of closing , WHILE having fun. So it's a combination of the two. Your goal is to take a girl home. How? By having fun with people. That way it lightens the mood but you are still focused.

Another misconception is the "numbers game" thing, which is bullshit. I used to think the same but since last year I realize guys who claim it's a "numbers game " just have mediocre game. Truth is most guys use the same bullshit advice they find on the Internet for free and they think it's game. Most coaches are scammers who have no clue what real game looks like. I know guys who can close every single night in 5 approaches max . It's a matter of knowing what to look for and having a clear plan . .which makes me curious: what is your main challenge when it comes to pulling girls home from the club? Also feel free to DM me I follow so many threads!

Lonely_Computer_2058 · 2025-02-19T22:08:08+00:00

Main focus should be to have fun. If something comes from it great, if not, no worries.

poly_nerdy_panda · 2025-02-19T22:21:04+00:00

thats dumb advice go to fuck and have a plan to bring them back to your place... other wise ur just wasting time.. its not that hard lead, hand objections, if shes not down to go out with you that night get her on a date.. get her number send her a text of your photo the next day... set up the date... more leads equals more dates not that hard dude

tskiit · 2025-02-19T23:01:40+00:00

Practice dancing. I usually pick one girl or group to show my moves then the other ladies will get jealous and start coming over. I’m average looking at best, but being good at dancing and having fun doing it is a game changer.

Title	Going out with the intent of having fun vs pulling?
Author	yoyogi_voidwalker
Upvotes	14
Comments	21
Date	February 19, 2025 12:47 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1issepn/going_out_with_the_intent_of_having_fun_vs_pulling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/going-out-with-the-intent-of-having-fun-vs-pulling.1544289 https://theredarchive.com/post/1544289

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