Great 1st dates never turning into 2nd ones from OLD.

bigmanpav · 2022-07-15T09:53:21+00:00

Definitely look for dates in other places. Any decent looking girl will have hundreds of matches. They might have a nice date with you but many of them get this mindset of wondering what else is out there, forgetting about you and moving on.

Look into cold approach (you would do well since you are definitely good looking if 75 girls agree to dates with you and kiss you on the first meet), growing your social circle, getting new social hobbies

bcool_returns · 2022-07-15T14:18:40+00:00

You went quiet for several days and only circled back about the date ONE HOUR before it happened. This is what happens when guys take only text for logistics to the extreme. You need to be steward of the number and the growing narrative between you two. (https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qot64z/a_case_against_only_texting_for_logistics/, https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qot64z/a_case_against_only_texting_for_logistics/hjphm44/) No, this doesn't mean blowing up her phone. But this is about balance and women can and will auto reject (that is to say, withdraw from an interaction if they feel like you are withdrawing too much, so that you inevitably don't disappoint them). You had this great date, you set another and then you go completely silent... WTF.
You likely could have gone up to her place on that first date. The date was in her hood. She gave you signs. You walked her back. And she even came back for more and yet you still didn't see where the date could have headed. All that was required was asking to use her bathroom.
Given how on the first date was, I would have suggested cooking at mine or hers on the 2nd date.
Despite your flub, there's still plenty of wiggle room here. Simply restart the conversation in a few days and on a high note, ask her out again.

SherbertSimple7350 · 2022-07-15T11:29:59+00:00

Did you not text her after Saturday and Sunday cause she probably did forget and maybe felt ur not interested if u stopped texting until the date

chillbill1220 · 2022-07-15T13:23:14+00:00

I don’t like to go more than 2 days without sparking up a quick text exchange with a girl to keep the banter going between dates. Sometimes the girl will initiate this herself but that depends on the type of girl and her level of interest.

I’m not saying that would’ve definitely saved this situation but it may have helped. In my experience going cold for 4 days pretty much guarantees the girl will flake

Everlast23 · 2022-07-15T18:38:13+00:00

I think it would have been a good idea to shoot her a message in the middle of that week just to touch base.

daddysgotanew · 2022-07-16T01:46:50+00:00

I haven’t been on 75 dates in my entire life and I’ve slept with 40 women.

If this is true you are somehow incredibly good looking but yet a complete turnoff at the same time. I’ve heard of these dudes but never met one. Are you talking about your sex doll collection on first dates or something? Even then I can’t imagine someone who can get almost 100 dates in 6 months being able to fuck up that level of raw attraction women must initially have for you.

Again, I consider myself a solid 7 and I’m lucky to be able to get a handful of dates a YEAR from online dating platforms. And most of them are well below me in looks and status.

AngeloMacon · 2022-07-15T18:04:58+00:00

This is an OLD phenomenon. The only time personally or from my friends who know what they are doing had a great first date that never led to anything.

She's probably talking and dating a bunch of guys. She either legit forgot because you already got surpassed by another guy or she's in FOMO phase of online dating, usually when they first sign up for the dating app. Meaning, she doesn't want to risk feelings or sleep with you until she's kicked a bunch of tires first.

Shoot your shot again but have zero expectations because it's probably not going anywhere.

LupinChronicles · 2022-07-15T20:32:59+00:00

Yeah this is that heavy “text for logistics” mindset, could’ve been totally avoided. She didn’t lose interest, you stopped showing interest after setting up the date. 4 days in between and a confirmation only minutes before? I guess that can but I would never recommend. I have date tomorrow, set it up yesterday, in between we’ve been texting(not a lot cause I don’t text that much, but enough to not break momentum). Unless you’re setting up a date for the same day or following day, it just makes no sense to stop talking for 4 days for no reason. If I was in her shoes, I would assume youre the one who lost interest/didn’t. And last thing, people have lives. I could be excited to meet someone and forget about cause I get busy and it slips my mind, and if not reminded, well it probably won’t happen

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-15T12:21:17+00:00

Next time don't mention or push for a second date right away. Be more ambiguous and play hard to get. The second a woman senses that she's "gotten" you in her web, she loses interest. Women need the thrill of the chase. They need to feel that they have worked for your attention and for that second date. Make them earn it.

backindis · 2022-07-15T17:01:59+00:00

why didn't you meet up with her the next day?

i think you fucked up, don't push all the way to thursday. you need 3 dates with a girl to solidify the relationship

after the 3rd date then you can push out the dates more

should have taken the next day when she offered it up

hustle_sk · 2022-07-15T22:18:33+00:00

Happens all the time belive it or not. You're lucky you even got a response back

modsRlameIRL · 2022-07-15T11:56:51+00:00

Sounds like she actually forgot

I’m not a fan of texting before a date but… message JUST before the date is silly

hookedonfonicsmunky · 2022-07-15T20:22:53+00:00

Try to sleep with them Asap, as soon as i changed my thinking it started to work in my favor👍🏻

xiosy · 2022-07-15T13:35:34+00:00

How old are u bro and where are u from ?

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-15T19:11:57+00:00

You might consider that she is financially dependent on her parents and might not actually have complete control over who she sees. I've known girls well into their twenties, living in their own place, and even have their own job, but might still be depending on parents. It's actually a common reason, but not socially appealing to bring up. It could be embarrassing for her.

You would have to incorporate meeting parents somewhere in your itinerary of dates. If she's not up for that, then back off.

Beneficial-Tip-4044 · 2022-07-15T23:28:19+00:00

dude ahah you have to small talk them until the date, a simple "hows your day" and what not a day until the date will do. girls want to know your thinking of them

Title	Great 1st dates never turning into 2nd ones from OLD.
Author	jtaylor27141
Upvotes	17
Comments	61
Date	July 15, 2022 9:22 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vzkc23/great_1st_dates_never_turning_into_2nd_ones_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/great-1st-dates-never-turning-into-2nd-ones-from.1254446 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254446

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