Her life is probably boring

blastanova · 2014-10-30T03:43:59+00:00

This is something that I sort of understood subconsciously but never really realized entirely until I took a friend out to a bar one night.

He's kind of a softspoken guy who has an outdoor job and enjoys introverted isolation, but generally has a pretty easy time socializing with co-workers and small co-ed groups. But when I took him out to a bar he was petrified, like dear-in-headlights AA. He basically made a statement to the effect of, "All these girls look so beautiful and they probably don't want me wasting their time."

I was like, Dude, you work in a national park, you've climbed the tallest mountain in 10 different states, you were probably within 50 feet of a bear some time within the past week. What do you think any of the girls at this bar have done that comes even close to as cool as what you're doing with your life right now? You're probably the most fascinating person in this bar right now, and every girl is just waiting for someone like you to come in and sweep them off their feet.

That is the kind of confident mentality that you want to develop. A lot of guys tend to normalize their own attributes in their own mind. "Well of course I hiked Half Dome twice, hasn't everyone?" or "Well yeah, I wrote and published a novel and I have a contract for a second book, but a lot of people have done that, so it's not that interesting, right?" or "I design car engines for General Motors, can't get much more boring that that, right?" No, you're actually a pretty fascinating person, and there are lots of girls who would love to meet a guy like you, but they're not going to have that chance unless you go over and introduce yourself.

Avicenna1 · 2014-10-30T04:03:19+00:00

This post is fantastic. One of the biggest things i worry about is that the girl will think I'm boring because someone that damn sexy surely spends weekends at the hottest clubs with celebrities galore making connections and hooking up with hot guys.

Then I realize they are boring, watch netflix all day, and only have 3-4 good friends. Oddly i still hadnt caught on until you pointed this out.

younaughtygirl · 2014-10-30T12:33:22+00:00

It's not just girls who have boring lives... I think it's a majority of both males and females. A lot of people have a serious lack of imagination when it comes to their own lives and they just do the things that they think they "should" do, like going to school, getting a well paying job, getting a house, etc. etc. They don't seem to dream big dreams and if they do, they convince themselves that those dreams are not possible.

Then there are the minority who think creatively about their lives and do the things that they are passionate about - like going travelling, attempting impressive physical feats, starting a business or otherwise challenging themselves in interesting ways. These are the people who are engaged with the world around them and are always looking for the next adventure.

If you are really interested in meeting interesting people who go against the grain, you won't usually find them in the typical places where you find everyone else. You'll find them working on a farm in Croatia, or partying in a hostel in Berlin, or painting a mural with underprivileged kids downtown, or volunteering in Cambodia, or at a conference for entrepreneurs in New York... If you want to find interesting people, go looking where interesting things are getting accomplished.

Unless of course, you are meeting these boring and unimaginative girls because they are easy to seduce- since your life is a little bit more interesting compared to theirs. If that is the case, you seem to be just going for the low hanging fruit. Like, if playing ping pong is significantly more exciting than anything she is interested in, then it's not hard to impress her.

ThatSpecialPlace · 2014-10-30T01:25:43+00:00

I don't know if you checked it out, but /u/tarantula3 posted a link to an article that's relevant to this situation. Here it is.

It basically talks about screening and filtering girls to sift through those boring ones. If you screen her and she is boring to ya, on to the next. You put in more work but get out a lot more.

agumonkey · 2014-10-30T19:02:59+00:00

I feel like I was scared to approach a rock.

so true I died

DirtyProjector · 2014-10-30T19:07:21+00:00

Yep. Totally true in most of my experiences. The more "beautiful" the woman, the less interesting and unique she is. Not only that, invariably they're terrible in bed as well. I dated a SUPER hot chick for a few weeks, and when we finally had sex, she had no idea what she was doing. She gave me a handjob during foreplay, and she spent the entire time squeezing my d like squeezing a stress ball. It was SURREAL. I realized that she went to ASU, probably went out with a bunch of frat boys who just drilled her porn style, and she never developed an understanding of what men want, and what she wants either.

I've gone out with plenty of hot girls only to find out they work boring jobs, have never really traveled, have no real hobbies, and spend their time drinking and watching TV. Lammmeeeee. One of the greatest realizations for me recently is that things weren't working out with women because I was bored and uninterested in them when we finally went out, and I just couldn't muster the interest to pursue things with them. It's given me a whole new perspective on who I date. I want someone who excites me, not someone who's a pretty face.

That being said, your post is an oxymoron. "She isn't interesting, you're much more interesting, so go over and have fun with her". Why? Why would you want to date someone who is uninteresting and boring? That makes no sense to me. Or are you just desperate to get laid or get validation of women, in which case you have deeper issues to deal with.

Secol · 2014-10-30T12:30:50+00:00

It's realising that you're enough and don't need to impress or prove anything to anyone.

kekspernikai · 2014-10-30T22:21:22+00:00

Absolutely. And it isn't just women. Ask 50 people what they're into, or what they've done lately, and most of them give boring answers or don't really know what to say.

When I talk to women I usually ask them what they're into. It is extremely rare that I get someone passionate about their job, with a cool hobby, or an exciting life. Most women will say something like, "well, I don't know, I like to read and watch movies?"

Disclaimer: if YOUR answer is "I like to read and watch movies", fix it. Unless that's genuinely all you think there is to do in life.

Title	Her life is probably boring
Author	fallenistand
Upvotes	154
Comments	38
Date	October 29, 2014 9:19 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2kpsa8/her_life_is_probably_boring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/her-life-is-probably-boring.1378784 https://theredarchive.com/post/1378784

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