How do I accept that I'm not cut out for this?

yeahyeahitsmeshhh · 2024-09-25T07:24:35+00:00

Don't. Go on non-dates and become basically functional socially. Go to therapy.

Accept it will be a long hard road to become a guy who gets a second date. Put out of your head that you will ever be a player. There are limits for us all. Aim a little higher than you are. One step up the staircase, then onto the next.

norwegiandoggo · 2024-09-25T08:15:40+00:00

You have to accept that you will always be a bit weird. But you don't have to accept that you will always be as bad at this stuff as you are now. You can always improve. Every new thing you learn will improve your chances by a few fractions of a percent. Over time it builds.

For example, here's a tip for you that will improve your dates by a LOT:

People will be much more accepting of your flaws if you flaunt them rather than hide them. So let's say on your dating app bio you write "I'm a bit of a weirdo & slightly autistic" then you'll have probably 10 times the amount of success on first dates - compared to if you said nothing and pretended to be normal. In which case the women will think "what is wrong with this guy?"

This is an old quote from Mystery: "What you can't hide, you feature".

There's also a study that showed that people who said they were autistic in their dating app bio were considered more attractive than people who displayed interests often associated with autism - but did not disclose they had autism. So showing off the autism was considered more attractive. Perhaps because people value honesty, openness, and confidence.

Having a flaw is often okay if you're confident about it. Being insecure about your flaws and hiding them is wayyyy more of a problem. That insecurity is what is truly unattractive.

Dandys3107 · 2024-09-25T08:45:18+00:00

And how these “disabilities” show up on your dates? You may keep a mindset to show on dates who you really are, but such assumption will only slow your improvement and disregard actual women’s desires. Point is to provide the girl with what she wants, so she can also give you her best, not to convince her to love your optimal way of being. In any relation you should always consider other’s expectations and adapt to them. After learning various seduction methods and mindsets and implementing them, you will realize your new persona is much easier to get around society and striving for your goals and there was no reason to cling to traits you assumed were natural and permanent for you. In fact, many of them may be just a subconscious excuse, like “I’m introverted, that’s why I fail”. No, there is no reason for an introverted guy not to effectively learn how to handle women.

2_brainz · 2024-09-25T15:46:35+00:00

Practice practice practice. If you're getting first dates you're already like 75% of the way there.

coastv3ga · 2024-09-25T16:32:55+00:00

you're cursed because You said you are. the mind will attract what you decide to believe and have faith in whether it's good or evil

razama · 2024-09-25T19:54:05+00:00

How old are you?

Why do you think “everyone else” is pulling? Why is your language very victim mentality in tone? What would it even matter if you could pull? Your mindset would just go to, “why can’t I pull HER specifically? Why only 6s, 7s, 8s, or 9s? Why not a TEN!? What’s wrong with me??!?

What’s wrong is your mindset. Autism isn’t an excuse for victim mentality. Introvert isn’t a disability, it’s just how you recharge an isn’t an excuse for being socially inept.

You have issues, but you are working on them, right? So start by giving yourself a break. Stop complaining about no second date and pay yourself for getting dates while guys have zero.

Would you want to date someone with this mentality of woe is me? Start by loving yourself, no woman is going to be able to do that for you.

Your problem is you have no confidence because you don’t respect yourself. You have no respect for yourself because you aren’t grateful for how far you’ve taken yourself. If you were, you’d focus not on what you’re cursed with but what you’re blessed with.

appolonysian · 2024-09-26T04:59:13+00:00

Bro did I write this? Same issues down to a T, but women are pretty mean about it. Lemme know what works for you.

mercush · 2024-09-26T17:27:12+00:00

Never compare yourself with people in pickup forums. Seriously. It's not a normal segment of the population, it's the small minority of people who invest loads of time into improving this specific skill. And most of them aren't even that successful.

I understand your desire to be a player, and you can do it, at least you can be closer to your idea of success than you are today. It's more of a number's game for some than for others. You need to gain confidence in yourself and then find the right girls for you.

Hypnotic_John · 2024-09-27T04:36:10+00:00

Everything social can be learned, and I know for a fact that autistic "introverts" can become a player! (I helped a autistic friend with similar problems).

Key (especially with autistic trades) is to understand that we have to go step by step! Sure, you are learning all this techniques and theories. So you recognise all your flaws. Your confidence goes even further down.

Frome your poste it seems your self worth/confidence is your biggest issue. So we solely focus us on this trade (for now) okay?

How do you increase your confidence? Since your goal is to be a player your quest/task is to approach women and your ONLY intent is to train/improve your speech and to increase your socialising.

What do you talk about? I don't care. The most important part is, that you have (for now) NO intent to start a game. (If something would lead to a date or so, go for it. But again... your goal is to improve speech/socialising)

Atleast that was the first step i taught my friend

RedPill_Engineer69 · 2024-09-30T00:44:20+00:00

From an autistic guy to another autistic guy: DO NOT GIVE UP.

I know its hard af but i can say that i became decent/good at dating and hooking up with girls that are out of my league.

Just keep trying, keep going out, have some drinks before approaching women, make friends.

Read how to make friends and influence people. Go strike random conversations with strangers at the library or mall.

Title	How do I accept that I'm not cut out for this?
Author	Ill_Upstairs7558
Upvotes	21
Comments	28
Date	September 25, 2024 7:07 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1foyhov/how_do_i_accept_that_im_not_cut_out_for_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-accept-that-im-not-cut-out-for-this.1531323 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531323

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