How do I keep an abundance mentality when the abundance isn't really there?

DaydreamingMister · 2021-07-23T17:58:27+00:00

Abundance is more than number of available dating partners; dating life is only one arena of abundance.

Abundance mentality also involves things like having a life and lifestyle you love aside from dating.

Would you say you’re creating/maintaining a full, busy life you love outside of dating? A lot of abundance comes from the knowledge that if a girl cancels a date or if there is no girl in the picture at all in the moment for you, you still have other outlets… other sources of joy to look forward to. For example, you know there is a great book/audiobook at home waiting for you… or there’s the musical instrument you are practicing… or some valued friend or family relationships to spend time enjoying… or there’s the form of exercise you eventually found out you love doing several times a week…

This makes for a man who is more complete as a person in general… which impacts everything from how content and peaceful and relaxed he is as he moves through the world, to whether or not he seems hyper-focused on any particular dating partner (to an extent that could end up turning her off).

And for this sort of man, even if at the moment he does not have seven different women in a rotation - his vibe of not being overly focused on the one or two women that are his current dating prospects helps him come off like somebody who has no shortage or lack of options with women. He seems to be in a non-hungry state, like someone who just finished having sex all night last night and isn’t falling all over himself for the chance to get at the attractive woman in front of him now.

Handsome_Claptrap · 2021-07-24T15:42:03+00:00

Abundance isn't "if she rejects me i can have another girl right away". It's more like just being fine with the possibility she rejects you.

People, not just girls, don't like pressure. Try to think it the other way around: you meet this girl, you like her and you want to know her better. But talking to her, you start to understand: something is wrong in her life and she feels like dating you will make things right.

This makes you feel responsible. Take a step backward and she'll worry about you not liking her, take a step forward and you'll give her hope, adding more responsibility and pressure. Suddenly you have to think about every step you make, you feel pressured.

This is not what you want from a girl... you want to have fun, feel free to be yourself and maybe get laid, you don't want another person happyness depending on what you do, you already have your own struggles in your life and you can't handle another person issues. So your reaction is too get the fuck out of that situation.

Dodechaedron · 2021-07-23T20:14:16+00:00

If one girl is not interested, this is perfectly within her right.There are millions and millions of other girls, everywhere. What more do you need to develop an abundance mindset?

The0rangeKind · 2021-07-23T21:50:38+00:00

abundance is just knowing that one girl or many girls rejecting you isn’t a big deal. you don’t let it upset you or lower your self esteem. there are many more out there BUT and this is a big juicy BUT..you gotta be giving women something attractive and valuable. if you just go in every set every approach hoping this is the one without doing everything to maximize yourself, then you’re going to fail hard every time

you might get lucky but why would you want something random to work in your favor once in a while when you can maximize what you have in control most times

Particular_Visual531 · 2021-07-23T22:39:16+00:00

The reality in the United State is you are pretty short. So go somewhere else, go teach English in Vietnam (or research other skills you have that could get you an overseas position). You'll be average height and exotic (foreigner). Life is too short to not get what you want. There is an absolute abundance out there, go where it is. I speak from experience, I'm tall but a very average at best dude, girls were not throwing themselves at me in America. I lived in Korea for a year as a guy in my late 40s and dated all I wanted women in their late 20s/early 30s that were gorgeous (including one that competed in the Miss Korea pageant).

Even if you don't go right now, realize there is an abundance, it just may not be right next to you.

SpinPlates · 2021-07-24T07:57:26+00:00

You can't. Just like you can't fake confidence. Girls smell that shit a mile away. Keep grinding till you achieve genuine confidence and abundance.

goblinlvl99 · 2021-07-23T19:55:24+00:00

Like the other commenter said it's way more than just dating but a mentality that affects your everyday life.

But one way to achieve an abundance mentality is through knowledge and experience.

For example, if you went to school and studied finance/accounting and had a basic idea of how to attain money and keep it. Then you started a consultation business and act as a fiduciary of people's personal and business finance.

However, for some reason, your business isn't doing too well and you're actually starting to lose money.

But, chances are even if you went bankrupt and lost total equity of your consulting business, you know you still have to ability to keep your head above water and maintain a stable financial position before starting a business over again. That's an abundance mentality.

If you gain experience and knowledge in the dating market with the cards you have been dealt with, you stop sweating the small stuff and realize the abundance of opportunities you have in the world even after rejections and failures. That's an abundance mentality.

"How do I make myself believe that there is an abundance of girls interested in me when in reality there are very very few?"

Have you actually gone outside and approach women to KNOW that you arent desirable?

Are you improving yourself, your style, the qualities that make you unique?

loofyd · 2021-07-23T20:19:49+00:00

Holy shit - this is quite similar to how I feel

Title	How do I keep an abundance mentality when the abundance isn't really there?
Author	goblinlvl99
Upvotes	45
Comments	35
Date	July 23, 2021 5:43 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/oq7il1/how_do_i_keep_an_abundance_mentality_when_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-keep-an-abundance-mentality-when-the.1279799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1279799

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