How do I stop feeling so crushed when I get rejected?

PowerSeductionWar · 2015-05-10T06:19:23+00:00

It's because you don't know who you are.

When you don't know where you stand, other's peoples reactions towards you matter because they could possibly take away from your self-image

greenpua · 2015-05-10T05:21:56+00:00

I feel you OP. Try approaching more. And then more. And wayyyyyyy more. See it as a joke, a fun experience, an interesting interaction, or anything that frames the "rejection" as something else. You gotta let go!

ThrowawayPUA · 2015-05-10T15:41:02+00:00

She isn't rejecting you. She's rejecting your approach. In the few minutes you interacted during your first meeting, she had no time to really judge you as a person. She could only judge your approach methods.

Fortunately, you can improve your approach skills. Unfortunately, this involves a lot more rejections. So don't take it personally, take each rejection as a "reference experience," an event that you can learn something from and improve your skills. As long as you are improving your skills, it doesn't matter if you get rejected. You are practicing your skills for the time when you don't get rejected. That time will come, as long as you are trying to improve.

seedarf · 2015-05-10T05:22:35+00:00

"There's nothing wrong with me, I'm an awesome person. We're just incompatible and that's perfectly OK."

davidjascha · 2015-05-10T06:00:27+00:00

It's good that you realised that more materials won't help you. What will help you, is the experience that in the end, it doesn't matter much when you get rejected.

How do you internalize that experience? By getting it some more. Sorry, but that's how it works.

Another approach I could think of would be to get into some meditation, and practice that, which will basically lead you to the realisation that nothing really matters, including you being rejected.

1vibe · 2015-05-10T06:37:14+00:00

Repetition. It's like building up cal loses when practicing guitar.

2015-05-10T09:17:49+00:00

put your self in a position where you don't give a fuck what the other person thinks (jk. this requires you to be preoccupied with something else and really afraid of it, more scared then the rejection)

epicness · 2015-05-10T12:22:29+00:00

I don't experience much, if any, negative emotion in response to a rejection anymore. Probably comes from a number of things. I approach girls regularly while I'm going throughout my day, so deep inside of me experience ingrained an abundance mentality inside of me. Action is the best way to confidence; not telling yourself something, but showing yourself something. Another concept you could use is seeking the truth when you pursue women. This concept is from Rob Judge. When you pursue the truth about women, instead of pursuing the woman or sex, you never really get an experience of rejection, you get the truth, always. Every interaction, whether good or bad, is a learning experience.

EpictetustheWise · 2015-05-10T15:14:27+00:00

It's essentially your ego at work, most people tend to equate 'ego' with just being a cocky asshole. Not the case. It can also come in the form of the narrative you create in your head. So, for instance, every rejection turns into a 'woe is me' ordeal. You start believing that story about yourself and get to believing that you're somehow unique in your experiences...again, not the case.

Every single approach with a girl is different. Meaning, how one turns out will not determine how the next one comes out, as they are independent events. This works both ways, if you get 'success' with ten straight girls, you start feeling really good about yourself. If you get ten straight rejections, you feel bad. In either case, your interpretation of those events (your narrative) is wrong. You have given away your power and are a slave to the whims of random events (in this case, getting validation from women). If your feelings are always based on these outcomes, you'll always be a slave to events, and can never be truly content no matter how good at 'game' you get.

Truly understand, on a fundamental level, how fickle attraction is. A girl can like you for a million reasons and dislike you for a million. All you can do is develop your best self and play the percentages. For example, say that, you're a really dope musician but nobody knows about you. If you go to a club or bar, your attraction is that of the average guy. Now, if the same situation were to occur and this time you had the number 1 song in the country, you would get a shit ton of attraction. Again, because it is that fickle and you cannot take these outcomes seriously. Attraction can sometimes boil down to what shirt you had on or what kind of mood she was in, you cannot take it seriously!

Also, add to the fact that you are doing cold approach, which is just by its very nature a low percentage game. Even if you get the number and created some attraction, doesn't mean she is going to still be interested later and doesn't have a shit ton of options. I know it can hurt, getting rejected, but you have to learn to let that go. It's going to happen, no matter how long you are involved with women...I've been rejected or dissed, I don't know how many times....BUT I still get laid because I don't give a damn if 1 girl out of 4 billion on the planet rejects me. It is so insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe.

No girl is more important than your contentment and you don't need to compare yourself to any other guy. Focus on you. Keep improving yourself and most importantly, let things go. Life is way too short to be worried about this type of bullshit. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XB2I8NU

erect_sean · 2015-05-10T18:52:51+00:00

The problem I see is that you are making up the story in your head that it was you that fucked up the interaction. Is this really true? Do you have any evidence to support this?

Also you have to realize that all of the interactions you have are part of a larger process to get better with girls. You need to get different responses from girls in order to get better, and yes this does include getting flaked. I'd recommend you hard look at your interactions, try to learn something from them and then move on.

midnightyeti · 2015-05-10T21:07:43+00:00

Facing "rejection" from girls is a part of the dating game. There could be a 100 different reasons why she said no at that moment, don't take it personally, just move onto the next girl.

snowman4839 · 2015-05-11T05:50:50+00:00

"You may be the juiciest peach in the world, but some people don't like peaches" -Marilyn Monroe.

Somebody WILL adore you for who you are now. The AMOUNT of people is determined by how you confirm to society's general tastes. Your success depends on either your patience or willingness to change

Before all of that though, learn who you are and what you like. Find your hobbies, you interests, your music, etc. When you learn to make yourself happy, you will be capable of making others happy

Title	How do I stop feeling so crushed when I get rejected?
Author	sedditnewbi3
Upvotes	6
Comments	14
Date	May 10, 2015 4:25 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/35goqi/how_do_i_stop_feeling_so_crushed_when_i_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-feeling-so-crushed-when-i-get.1387911 https://theredarchive.com/post/1387911

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