How do you flirt with someone without coming across as weirdly awkward and creepy?

Bricemck · 2017-11-01T14:01:30+00:00

DirkDieGurke · 2017-11-01T14:29:50+00:00

You need to actually enjoy the act of flirting. But what I think you are doing is hesitating too much, and that is when interest comes off as being creepy. The girl may see you, but you are just there waiting, and then you make a move after waiting too long.

Be more confident, don't wait and let tension build. See it, say it

pjay898 · 2017-11-01T11:39:07+00:00

Flirting must come off as a joke, don't take yourself or the girl seriously when flirting. Fucking smile. Make the smile subtle, meaning you don't have to show your teeth, just a little smirk is good enough. If you don't smile whilst flirting, you'll come off as too serious and that's creepy.

When it's awkward, I just laugh at the situation. Laughing means you're comfortable, which in turn makes the girl comfortable. So learn to laugh at yourself when things get awkward.

truecrisis · 2017-11-01T16:12:30+00:00

To understand why you come across as creepy:

Watch this video

https://youtu.be/WdqSoPAILJ0

Then read Models by Manson

recyclablebanthas · 2017-11-01T14:43:24+00:00

They say "oh you have such a beautiful smile". So then I try to do it, but then they say "No, that looks creepy!".

Your problem is that your contrived attempts at smiling are unnatural, apparently.

They're telling you that your normal smile is great. The one that you aren't trying so hard to make look good. You may have to look at yourself in the mirror to get some idea what this looks like.

NunoHimself · 2017-11-01T15:49:13+00:00

It comes off creepy because you're half assing it. You're too much of a pussy to just express yourself, instead you're just in your head fearing what others might think of you. They tell you your smile is creepy because you're forcing it. They like when your smile is genuine, not forced.

WDMDan · 2017-11-01T21:48:22+00:00

I think the biggest misconception is that a lot of men try way too hard to be "perfect". They put up these self defense mechanisms to hide their insecurities and end up coming off even more unnatural and inauthentic.

My interactions with women and my results improved dramatically when I wasn't afraid to be authentic and not try to impress them. If I was nervous approaching them, I'd say something like "hey, you are adorable. I'm really off and nervous right now but I had to at least introduce myself".

I've seen that a lot of guys are terrified of being this vulnerable, but it's amazing how girls let their guard down because they are used to 99% of men trying to impress them with how cool they are / how much money they make / how many friends they have / etc.

Moral of my rambling is try just saying hi and being honest about the state you're feeling / in and see how it goes.

ImJustSo · 2017-11-01T13:23:39+00:00

Enjoying yourself freely is a good start, obviously not trespassing on others, but still you've got to be in the exchange and reveling in the moment. I mean, you're flirting with a girl, what's not to smile about?

Awkwardness is your own emotion, and their awkwardness is theirs. Can you feel awkward and still do things? That's rhetorical.

GTTanner · 2017-11-01T15:22:21+00:00

Flirt with your EYES, MOUTH and BODY LANGUAGE. Develop a cheeky smile, a deep glaze and a forward but gentle posture.

GET_IN_THE_VAN · 2017-11-02T04:59:04+00:00

You need to smile with your whole face. Don't forget to smile with your eyes. A trick models use is they press their tongue to the back of their teeth

brianbria · 2017-11-01T10:51:54+00:00

Sounds like something you're doing in real life is off putting or "creepy." I think you'd need to show a video of yourself flirting, or hire a dating coach. This limited text you provided isn't enough to give you useful advice.

I guess one experiment that could help if you have an active imagination:

Really imagine you are a girl, and feel your high heels on the ground, and your skirt/dress fabric, and you have your boobs tucked in your bra, you feel sexy and confident. Now you you are out on a night with your girlfriends and you know you'll get a lot of attention from the guys, so you're smiling and prancing around. And then you see ToBecomePure come up to you and he starts to show interest in you. What does he look like? What is his mannerisms like? What about him is creepy to you? What do you like about him? What about him is awkward? Do you like or dislike his awkward behaviours? Why or why not?

SavageJunior · 2017-11-01T15:25:37+00:00

As long as you are confident and assertive and know what you doing. She won't look at you as creepy. Fuck this thing about creepy. Go up to her and talk to her. If she reject you or don't reject you but is not doing effort to go out with you... then..

She is not worth your time

legodmanjames · 2017-11-01T22:32:06+00:00

You can't.

If they don't like you then it's awkward and creepy. That's about all you can do. I mean who gives a shit really? Awkward and creepy? Most successful people nowadays fit that criteria.

V4refugee · 2017-11-01T23:57:56+00:00

You need to be more confident. Not just with the person you want to flirt with but with everyone you encounter. You need to practice your banter with the bros and your game with the girls. You will come across a bit awkward. Some people will hate you even if you're not doing anything wrong. Some girls will be so hot that they won't have very good social skills. They will seem rude and they will judge you negatively despite you not being a creep. Now if every girl you talk to thinks you are a creep then you are either only talking to girls way out of your league or you really are being creepy. Don't try to flirt so much when you first start approaching girls. Talk to them first to determine if you want to escalate the conversation to a more flirty tone if they seem like they are worth your time.

2017-11-02T00:20:38+00:00

Crinkle your eyes when you smile. If you smile with eyes wide open you might as well be weaing a clown suit and holding an axe.

NewTransformer · 2017-11-02T05:53:03+00:00

Jacob_961 · 2017-11-01T14:10:18+00:00

Flirting is dangerous and difficult to pull off. So much so that most books on flirting don't know what they are talking about. Flirting is really flat out hitting on the girl and making something that is inherrently creepy work.

Example. You have such a beautiful smile, I hope a day will come where you smile like that everytime you see me.

This is fucking difficult to pull off and even when you pull off, you are in a vulnrable position because if you have any shred of fear or hessitation it will blow up in your face sooooo bad.

Example 2: That's one hell of a dress you're wearing. Did you wear that so that I take it off you later.

Again... fucking dangerous but you can polarize a girl so fast if you can do it and a girl that is neutral will start to get wet.

Most people would tell you flirting is going "oh we would never get along" and with a smirk in the end. She gets that you're playing her but she can very easily just refuse to play with you.

Depends on how much balls you got and how much you don't give a fuck.

2017-11-01T12:07:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

abstractpickupartist · 2017-11-02T03:43:55+00:00

Be happy.

When I try to smile, I looked like a demented leprechaun. So I don't try. Lots of people can't smile on command, and people can tell they are faking, that's what makes it creepy.

Do things that you enjoy. Get a real smile, it works so much better.

Dgremlin · 2017-11-01T15:55:57+00:00

Doesnt the sidebar talk about this? How about the 500 other threads just like this? Maybe read a few of those resources and then come to us lol

Title	How do you flirt with someone without coming across as weirdly awkward and creepy?
Author	ToBecomePure
Upvotes	78
Comments	21
Date	November 1, 2017 10:47 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7a2sfn/how_do_you_flirt_with_someone_without_coming/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-flirt-with-someone-without-coming.1300578 https://theredarchive.com/post/1300578

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