How do you get over oneitis?

Warm_Pineapple9440 · 2026-05-05T19:03:25+00:00

The approaching a lot of woman might help, but in my experience it is not really the healthy way to get over this. This is an inner game and self esteem issue. You can work on that. Be it by yourself or in therapy.

duke_awapuhi · 2026-05-05T19:58:22+00:00

You need to keep approaching more women. Don’t go to the gym or focus on work as if you just went through a breakup. Those aren’t the right distraction for this. This was a minor screwup, not the end of the world. Talk to more women to put some separation between you and this one. Don’t act like you have a broken heart. If you met someone you liked that much after just a few days of approaching, then there will be more

becomesharp · 2026-05-05T22:39:20+00:00

20-50 approaches per week, focus on skill set, not on getting the girl. Literally treat every approach like "this is just another rep to improve skill set."

That will help you to stop seeing every approach as the most important opportunity of your life because this might be your wife.

Also, this one girl you screwed up with is statistically NOT your dream girl. Your brain is trying to convince you she is, but its not true. I would bet a LOT of money that if you married her tomorrow, you'd be divorced within 5 years with 50% of your shit gone.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-05-05T19:14:04+00:00

I think it's partly due to you finally having a succesful outing and your brain is thinking "OMG it took me so much effort to get this 1 girl, if i dump her it could take months to find somethign else".

Honestly my advice (this happened to me and i wish i did this sooner) is a few things you can try out:

- keep yourself distnat from her. If you are hanging out just keep it to the sex and taht's it. Dont stay too long, dont plan cute dates, keep covnersation at surface level, etc. Dont go out of your way to please this girl.

- Keep relationship short. After 2-3 months end it, regardless of where it's at. If you still feel this, end it after a few months. If you can keep feelings in check and dont feel the oneitis anymore then keep it as long as you please. Especially if you have a 2nd girl you are talking to.

- Find another girl to entertain. I get it's easier said than done but ive found this happens because you have no options but her. But once you get that 2nd option your brain realizes "omg i can do this now, i dont need this first girl to find love or affection, im actually good at this".

norwegiandoggo · 2026-05-05T19:11:41+00:00

This isn't oneitis. One-itis means you're stuck on a woman thinking she's better than all other women and "special for you".. But like over several months brother. Not like 1 day or even 10 - that doesn't count. That's not that kind of obsession if it's just been a few days.

Sorry-Place6291 · 2026-05-05T19:41:15+00:00

i think its smart to go for slightly lower value then youre approaching just to get someone you can feel on top of the value system. just make sure she chill cool and clean. just a girl to hang out with til somethin pops off. Keep it extra casual with that girl and dont lead her on cause the end game is to get a better chick

FeistyRip9623 · 2026-05-05T21:04:07+00:00

these are girls are good opportunities to cement the lessons you learned during your interaction with them. so when you think about her just reiterate what you would do differently now and use that outlook going forward

OpinionThink481 · 2026-05-06T00:07:06+00:00

If you know a girl for just 10 days or less and you immediately say "wow this girl is the ideal girlfriend" then that's a sign of low maturity on your part. You don't know this person, you are just projecting a fantasy on them of who you think they are. You see only positive things, but no flaws at all.

Then once you've spent enough time with her and the initial honeymoon period ends, you start seeing things that you don't actually like or feel comfortable with, things that were actually there from the start but which you ignored because you were blindsided by the good stuff.

Those things could be, the comfort you feel about how she dresses while being your girlfriend, the way she interacts with other guys while being your girlfriend, the conflict arising from the way she handles arguments and disagreements, her attitude towards commitment, the mismatch in communication style, incompatibility issues, different or unmet expectations that you thought you were on the same page, the lack of accountability, her toxicity level, how bitchy, demanding and abrasive she can be when she is on a bad mood or unsatisfied, how frequently she wants sex vs you,

You ignore all those things because you haven't actually gotten to know her properly, yet you say "i already know from day one she is the one, the one i will work hard to provide for, the potential mother of my future kids, (when you don't even know if she might want them) and the one woman i want to be with the rest of my life".

How can you say all that based on just a couple of days? It's just not believable and girls know this, they know that it's not reasonable and so they cringe when a guy starts acting like they are sold within a week on her, let alone after just "one approach".

ManaDeus · 2026-05-05T19:02:54+00:00

Just fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck

autodidacticasaurus · 2026-05-05T21:51:37+00:00

It will pass with time. Keep doing what you are doing. Do more approaches in just the way you were planing. You got a rejection, so just move on. I still think of a couple of old ones, but eventually I forget for the most part.

Objective_Height9961 · 2026-05-07T04:35:05+00:00

it takes time and approaching other women

TheMindthief · 2026-05-08T11:20:01+00:00

The easiest way is to have more irons in the fire. Date multiple women. If you aren’t at that stage yet, then keep approaching and focusing on. Practice with other women. Eventually you’ll meet more women you’re into as well.

Wide-Independence269 · 2026-05-05T19:21:31+00:00

Crack someone in the same or higher calibre and you’ll lose the halo effect you placed on them

Quiet_Rock_5696 · 2026-05-05T19:38:53+00:00

Oneitis as a form of insecurity is a real thing, but sometimes you meet a woman who’s actually way more interesting than any other option.

Some people are singular, and falling in love with them / getting your heart broken is the source of great songs and poetry, it’s a real thing lol

Title	How do you get over oneitis?
Author	Fast-surfin-9191
Upvotes	22
Comments	16
Date	May 5, 2026 7:00 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1t4oxp7/how_do_you_get_over_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-get-over-oneitis.1579672 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579672

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