How long would it take to go from no experiences to a regular dating life?

TheSphincterSphinx · 2021-04-14T11:23:22+00:00

While I have had dating experience before the age of 24, it was a long term relationship from 20-24.

After we split it was the first time I was on the dating market as an actual adult. I didn’t date in my teens due to social anxiety and general “nice guy”ness. So I was in a similar place to you.

It’s easy to start a regular dating life but the truth is you need to just start. Start by signing up to tinder/bumble/hinge whatever website you like using and try to get some matches. While that’s cooking on the back burner(don’t use it as your primary source of income because there’s a lot of flakes and it can demoralize you)

Start going out with friends to places and talking to women in general. Talk to them in shops or on the street. Yes it’s important to be socially calibrated, which reading dating tips can help you, but overall it’s more important to get out there and actually do it to see results.

In my experience I went from 1 girlfriend by 24 to now being 28 and having a wonderful and fruitful dating life filled with wild stories and amazing women.

You may find yourself in the headspace of trying to get “notches under your belt” for a while and that’s alright. It does in some ways feed the ego and drive you to meet more women. The reason I say don’t fully avoid this is because it does help to start.

While you’re doing that, read models by mark Manson and his other books,(which aren’t dating related) but give good perspective on life in general.

You’ve got plenty of time to enrich your life with women and it’ll only get better as you mature and learn what works for you, what your demographic is.

After that it’s essentially having a fun life going out and doing stuff you love and the by product is a lot of lovely women who want to sleep with you.

It really only took me 6-8 months to have a regular dating life. That involves going out and actually trying to meet women, which a conscious effort. To get where I am now took the full 4 years and I’ve still got places to improve. You’re dating life isn’t an end goal, the whole thing is a ride of self discovery and learning. There’s no end, only continuous improvement. If you look at it as having a logical conclusion point you’ll never get past a certain point of having 1 girlfriend instead of 3-4 or how ever many you want. Yes it’s worth it. 100% anyone that says otherwise isn’t living the experience and is probably bitter towards women.

Beautiful-Original-4 · 2021-04-14T13:08:15+00:00

I wish I knew the answer also lol im a 24 year old virgin and im a truck driver im not fat or ugly just always on the go so its hard for me to pick up women and date

DontLookAtMyPostHsty · 2021-04-14T12:28:08+00:00

It could take as little as one day. The more people you meet and approach regularly the more experience and potential dates you will have.

shaggy2gay · 2021-04-14T23:58:36+00:00

My advice as a grizzled old PUA guy who's been doing this forever:

Yes, it's worth it. No, it doesn't make you eternally happy but you get to have sex. Life with sex in it is better than life without sex in it. Anyone who claims otherwise is stunting.

Here's the fast track to dates and sex:

Learn enough about daygame to get started and then start. Hit it hard.

There is no better way to do this. There's a huge emphasis on night game in this community because of historical precedent but IMHO daygame is better, and easier, you will have more fun doing it, and you will get dates and sex faster.

Don't allow yourself to dick around and not approach. Decide you're going to Actually Do It and then Actually Do It. I would grab you by your shirt and shake you around while saying this (in a friendly way) if we were talking in person. Just dooooooo iiiiiiiit.

Look up James Marshall on YouTube. Watch a few of his videos and then go out and implement. Start with at least three approaches per day. Twenty is better. If you do twenty honest-effort daygame approaches in one session you WILL get numbers, dates, and probably sex.

There are ways to make online dating work but if you rely on them you're already fucking yourself over from the jump. Just take the plunge.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-04-14T11:17:02+00:00

It depends on you. A regular dating life could mean going on one date a week lol. That’s extremely doable lol

dontbanmeagaindudes · 2021-04-14T10:48:36+00:00

does it make you happy?

Hold on, you should be happy without all that stuff about dating.

hagion · 2021-04-14T14:34:04+00:00

Depends on how much time you’re going to spend on it ofcourse, and what’s a regular dating life?

BoredGuyin2020 · 2021-04-14T16:29:14+00:00

I’d say not worth it

Shit_31_Fuck · 2021-04-15T02:12:58+00:00

It can take anywhere between 30-40 years. But if you're naturally good looking and have great communication skills it may take 2-3 months.

Godletrich · 2021-04-15T10:35:51+00:00

I am new to dating too ( also virgin ) and I prefer approaching women rather than dating apps. The biggest advantage is that almost no one does approaching so there is very little competition out there and women can appreciate how brave you are that you have no problem approaching a stranger.

But how long does it take? Difficult to say, it depends on your hard work, learning from mistakes and also the city you live in. I am from a small town so reaching success can be a longer process for me than for someone who is from a big city where you can do daily 10+ approaches.

domo94 · 2021-04-15T15:20:40+00:00

Dating is something that can bring you joy and pain, like children or a pet.

You have to nurture and care for the person/ relationship.

Technically, the moment you go out there and start talking to girls with the intention of knowing them and dating, that’s your dating life.

Whether or not you are successful in what you want to achieve out of the relationship, is up to you.

Maybe you really just wanna hold hands- and if you do that, congrats! Success. You’re moving on up in the dating world.

Because you haven’t done anything (which I commend you because I’m a Christian and sometimes I feel like that route would’ve been a lot better) doesn’t mean you can’t have a dating life. It’s moving at your own pace. It might be awkward or uncomfortable for you a lot of times but that’s ok. It’s ok to be timid and shy especially in your situation. So don’t let that bog you down. Or people for that matter.

Think of it like grocery shopping. You find the selection you like. Go out with intention.

With the idea of “Yes I’m actively looking for somebody to date” Nothing wrong with that. But obviously don’t go around announcing that or anything lol

revente · 2021-04-14T15:22:39+00:00

When i was around 21, it took me half a year to go from never holding a hand to finding my first gfs in clubs. I was alright looking tho, and was good with male friendships, just had zero romantic experience before.

RoflCopterDocter · 2021-04-14T16:42:30+00:00

Dating makes you a more confident person, more easily able to interact with people in a variety of situations. Like other people have said, how long it takes is up to you and you won’t know til you put yourself out there.

garlicgarlic1 · 2021-04-14T17:32:34+00:00

Hey man, I had absolutely no experience until I was 22, meaning no dates and not so much as a hand hold. Honestly if I could go back in time and give myself advice it would to just rip off the band aid and just do the things I wanted to do. I got my first ever date from a dating app and it was awkward and boring and I even bailed pretty early on, but you know what? It wasn’t scary and I didn’t get the surge of anxiety I thought I would. Instead, I came out feeling motivated to find another date and this time I had the experience to know what I was looking for and how to avoid it being awkward. So my advice to you is to just get the first date you possibly can, she doesn’t need to even be all that attractive just get your first date over and done with. Now is a good time because with lockdowns being lifted everyone is getting back on the apps for a Summer of fun. After your first date all the theory you read in this sub will start to make sense. With regards to sex; just take the plunge when the opportunity arises. I waited so long because I wanted it to be at the “right” time and as a result I missed a lot of opprotunities that I regret. There is no right time, and tbh girls these days pretty much expect men to be bad in bed so if you don’t perform well you’ll just be normal in her eyes. Also read the book Models by Mark Manson, it’s the only dating advice you’ll need. And a final word: the right amount of alcohol helps you put you in the zone.

Sue__Me__Then · 2021-04-14T18:15:56+00:00

There's a concept called the 10,000 hour rule--you've probably heard of it.

It has a caveat, though, that many people don't know about. The 10,000 hour rule says that you can master any skill with so many hours of practice, but if two people practice the same skill for the same amount of time, one may end up better than the other.

Why is this?

The secret lies in the quality of the practice. If you were to hit the gym every day, but never push your limits, you would almost certainly never achieve the physique that you want. If, on the other hand, you were to hit failure multiple times every workout, you would see growth very quickly.

Push yourself, and you will see results.

AlwaysLearningWork · 2021-04-14T20:26:08+00:00

For me it was a year to learn the basics so that I could actually get girls, two years to get real comfortable in my own skin (You could say getting my inner game more in check, so that it's all more natural). Lots of awkward failing and being creepy / girl-repellant.

For steps, I'd say:

Read books on attraction (3% Man, Models, in that order. Models is better overall but 3% Man is a lot easier to understand for beginners imo.)
Approach as much as possible. Start by asking for directions until you can chat anyone up. Then move to small-talk, names etc. Then ask them out. IT WILL BE AWKWARD and you need to embrace it. If you can set a goal to get rejected as much as possible (While still trying to not come off as a creep) and just approach over and over, eventually you'll find it's not that hard to talk to strangers.
Go to as many social events as you can. Try to learn to have a good time and don't focus on gaming women so much. Just make some great friends and have a good time.
You now have great friends (Who might know some parties), you can talk to strangers and cold approach, and you understand the behaviors that kill attraction. Go to bars, events, concerts, clubs, hobby-gatherings etc. And talk to some girls. See if you like them, and if you do, ask them out.

Sure it will take a few years to get fully comfortable but it's legitimately the best thing you can do for yourself. It will help you in so many areas as well as dating.

Opiateprisoner · 2021-04-20T03:16:05+00:00

Okay serious questions:

How often do you attend social gatherings with friends? Are they mixed gender gatherings?
How about social events with strangers? How often do you meet new people?
If you frequent social events and meet lots of new people then for how long? Is this new for you?

The one constant in my life has been that being social begets social interactions. There is no embarrassment in being 24 and a virgin in any capacity but I suspect your social calendar hasn’t exactly been full or if it is your not meeting new people of the opposite sex.

At your age your either working or in grad school. Both of which aren’t always the best environments to meet new people. So consider your hobbies/interests that are social and start engaging in those especially if you meet women in those spaces.

If you have any close female friends you can confide in talk to them about it. They may even have friends to introduce you to! (I’m assuming you don’t though). The whole point is you need to learn a social behavior you never really got experience with. Don’t worry about “how long it takes” no one here or anywhere can tell you that.

BensonInFL · 2021-04-14T21:43:15+00:00

does it make you happy?

Do you have a natural drive to want to have sex and relationships? If so, then yes, if not, then its debatable on whether you pleasantly surprise yourself or get discouraged if problems prevent you from achieving whatever you are seeking..

I want to get to a regular dating life, which steps would I need to take?

Pickup is a process... the approach -> the number -> the text/phone game -> the meetup -> the date -> the going back to your place -> the escalation -> the kissing -> the sex .. etc... you need to see what your sticking/problem points are in each step, and work on those...

-B

Title	How long would it take to go from no experiences to a regular dating life?
Author	DrippyMaurry
Upvotes	29
Comments	43
Date	April 14, 2021 10:46 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mqnzk3/how_long_would_it_take_to_go_from_no_experiences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-long-would-it-take-to-go-from-no-experiences.1512577 https://theredarchive.com/post/1512577

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