How to be less needy

Therocksays2020 · 2022-09-19T04:19:35+00:00

Aside from hobbies. Having some male friends would go a long way.

incognito3107 · 2022-09-19T06:55:15+00:00

You are getting flooded with hormones that you were lacking for a long time. It is very similar to a drug addiction. And the best cure for a drug addiction is to have other "stable" activities that would provide you with lots of positive nourishment.

CanUnusual8729 · 2022-09-19T13:26:07+00:00

I have had exactly that feeling you described. It’s wonderful feeling, but understand that it’s not her making you feel that way, it’s you. We have a way of painting over people with our fantasies and to a degree its cute, its sweet, its romantic. But there is a line where it stops being flattering and starts to be uncomfortable for the other person. It’s almost like a form of masturbation where, she might be the focal point or object to stimulate that pleasure for your senses but you’re really just getting yourself off. You seem to really want to squash this because you can sense where it’s going, but at the same time you’re still binging on that infatuation. You probably won’t stop because the love drug is one of the most intoxicating feelings in the world. You become addicted to her for the illusion of having found that divine feminine archetype that we crave. And all of your interactions become one sided and she feels less and less involved in it. It’s the hardest thing to see from your perspective because you think if only she knew how good she makes you feel. She doesn’t. Just being realistic. The way I stopped being needy was being in your exact situation, sensing on some level that I was taking more than my fair share of selfish emotional ecstasy, but not having the awareness to recognize it as that. Only after you’re forced to witness with your own senses that hard undeniable evidence that she is in fact, not a goddess, will the spell be broken. Maybe it’s her being mean to you, maybe it’s her behaving in a way that you didn’t think possible for her, maybe she cheats or maybe she just kindly exits stage left. In any case, she deserves a taste of that good feeling too, but it’s hard for her to feel secure with a man who can’t control his impulses. You’re addicted to that feeling like a drug. It literally is a drug. You need to be conscious of it just like if you had a drug problem. Look at how it’s affecting you and how do you think it’s going to manifest over time if you keep indulging it? Sorry if that seems harsh, Im only telling you because I went through it and it’s a hard thing to change. You will do it with the next girl and the next forever until you force yourself to come down from that high. You can’t stay high forever, it will come to an end either by your choice or by necessity. If you really want to stop being needy now, you’re going to have to wake up out of the dream you’re in and acknowledge that she is not what you want her to be, nor is any other girl out there. She might be a super cool chick, but she’s not an idol to be worshipped and doing so will undoubtedly make her feel super uncomfortable. Try to remind yourself that just because you’re thinking nice things about her, does not mean she is part of what you’re feeling. You need to recalibrate your perception by recognizing when you’re making her feel good vs making yourself feel good.

MrBlack__ · 2022-09-19T10:17:18+00:00

Everything was fine until You covered her rent… broski.

She doesn’t “believe in not being on the phone all the time” she’s telling you to let her fucking breathe.

Go do something that you can tell her about at the end of the day, AND make it clear that you are only doing these things for her because you want a family and kids with her, you don’t just Pay people rent wtf

You falling into simp territory, you’ll be in for the shock of your life when/ if you discover she would not do the same for you

epimpstyle · 2022-09-19T09:59:38+00:00

Imagine the world before Mystery, nobody knew terms (rules) about seduction like "not being needy" and people still picked up girls without acting like super/mega alpha and I bet they were needy because it is a human feeling.

With maturity and knowing better your GF, you will know when too much needy is too much. You should not care how to change your attitude, be yourself, and don't forget about being moderate in everything because too much sugar is not good while a bit of sugar is sweet, too much heat will burn you but a bit of heat is perfect....

boombahotwife · 2022-09-19T13:16:00+00:00

Ok, so this kind of treatment is good for first 2/3 months of a relationship, but trust me, women get bored of a man doing everything for them.

We like a fine balance between a nice guy and a bad boy

We also like strong men, not victims. Forget about your ptsd, if you want to keep this woman you have to turn your trauma into your strength I would suggest watching Jordan Petersons videos on dating advice and life advice for men. There’s lots on YouTube

You are at risk of loosing this woman fast, you should back off, it will be difficult but you need to do it

Take time out to watch the videos I suggested for 2/3 days

ftdrain · 2022-09-19T10:51:44+00:00

Is this a troll post? Ive never seen so many redflags, but then again im jaded and this could one of those movie stories, good luck chap, you are gonna need it

dirtyblondetea · 2022-09-19T21:44:34+00:00

Have you considered joining a writing group or another group that focuses on being creative in another way. Finding meetup groups are an option for meeting new people and having new experiences, which can cause the brain to build new pathways/new memories in the brain. I’m a big believer that art has the power to empower and heal, and provide a safe outlet for processing trauma. Plus if it’s a group activity that will surround you with people who might have similar interests or maybe similar experiences.

Contango6969 · 2022-09-19T04:46:50+00:00

You need to prioritize your stuff over her. Write your book. Make something of your startup.

If you’re so in love that you literally can’t stop thinking about her and feel anxious when you work on your book then you’re in a really bad position. I would honestly say your best course is to just break up with her but you won’t. Obsessive love like that is so bad. It destroys men. You’re fucked bro gotta stop the bleeding

zapadz · 2022-09-19T04:35:30+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIsy_HSHkKo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzeXRDUk1ds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs0vk092UN0

rochre · 2022-09-19T13:57:56+00:00

Out of your league? Just from the way you talk I can tell you have low self esteem. This really isn't going to end well. You're depending too much on external validation, but that's not a woman's job.

AndyTateIsRight · 2022-09-20T00:52:07+00:00

stoic reasoning

Erbium-Oxide · 2022-09-19T08:00:02+00:00

Periods ( . ) are pretty nice, should try ‘em.

Yerebeets · 2022-09-19T05:52:13+00:00

If you’re going to be 100% invested in her, this will (or already does) look really needy. You have to polarize yourself, go into extremes.

Don’t just compliment her, also tease her a bit. Give her space and don’t text every minute, and on the contrast, wreck her ass in bed when you two come together.

This is a dynamic you two should be striving for. The romance shouldn’t be like a continuous backburner or something, it should be intense pulses of energy

reddyornot0811 · 2022-09-19T13:09:30+00:00

Honestly, you need to love yourself before you can fully love someone else. You need to spend some time going out by yourself to truly figure out who you are and what you love doing. I’m in the process of doing that rn broskie

Marcus_Kovac · 2022-09-19T04:25:29+00:00

Please seek therapy to address your previous trauma and PTSD
Make some new friends by joining a social hobby. You say you want to write a book - are there any writer workshops or groups in your area?
You’ve done some amazing things for her, like driving her to the hospital and covering rent for her when she was out of work. It’s a very empathetic thing to do and morally good for you to help her out. That being said, you also need to make sure you’re still maintaining your boundaries and not being a yes-man. I don’t know enough about your situation so you’ll have to use your discretion in this regard. Just keep in mind that you have to take care of yourself first in any relationship, that you cannot give what you do not have, and that you shouldn’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself to solve other people’s problems. Like if she has some sort of disagreement with her friend, you should let her solve that on her own instead of trying to fight her battles for her.
I hope you’re only staring into her face and eyes when you’re both doing something very intimate together. Don’t randomly stare or smile at her.

Dakessian · 2022-09-19T12:42:36+00:00

You payed her rent??? Ok.

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-09-19T14:27:52+00:00

You are straight simpin dude. You are insecure and needy. This woman will leave you the minute she heals up and monkey branches to the next guy. Never pay someones rent that isn't your wife. You feel that you don't deserve her?? She can feel that by the way.

deeween · 2022-09-19T18:38:50+00:00

Ur too clingy. Coming from a woman, this is a huge turn off. She's most likely using you bro, you covered her rent. She probably tells her friends she has a new ATM machine.

Edit: got a read on the sitch,I don't think I'm right about this, so always get to know a situation before sputing random things like I just did.

Title	How to be less needy
Author	zodyaboi
Upvotes	42
Comments	49
Date	September 19, 2022 4:14 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xi1jap/how_to_be_less_needy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-be-less-needy.1249756 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249756

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