How to be the GUY?

Apex_of_Attraction · 2014-03-17T15:08:43+00:00

Ha I like your description of them looking at you like they're taking a selfie. I don't know if you meant it to be funny, but I'm just picturing them duck-facing at you.

You actually stuck on a very important point by using the word courage instead of confidence. Courage is the ability to act in spite of your fear, and that's exactly what you need to do. Over time it will get easier.

Just remember, the ACTIONS of confidence come first, the FEELINGS of confidence come after. Progressive exposure to situations like this that make you uncomfortable will make it easier over time.

Break it into smaller, more manageable pieces. You know what you need to do, but there are just too many things to think of all at once. So, what ONE thing could you do next time your talking to a girl that let's her know your relating as a man to a woman, instead of as a friend to a friend?

In terms of mindset, recognize that learning how to get good with girls is a skill just like anything else. It can be learned.

As a suggestion for the one thing to work on, try playfully making fun of her, while also saying you think she's cute. This will let her know that you're interested, while also letting her know that you are challenging in a good way. It's human behaviour for people to want what they can't have, so make her chase in this way. That should be a good place to start.

Let me know how you get on.

Darragh, Apex of Attraction http://apexofattraction.weebly.com/

Zack_Fair_ · 2014-03-17T13:36:31+00:00

Time, honest effort, and experience.

This is like asking "how do I become a grandmaster martial artist" or "how do I become a chess grandmaster" or "how do I become a guitar virtuoso". Time and practice. There ain't no magic pill or mystical advice or silver bullet.

How to gain genuine courage and interest to let me talk to them as if I'm a real man?

Keep in mind that you don't gain courage and then talk to girls. You gain courage by talking to girls. You have to take action, even if you're afraid or nervous or feeling awkward.

mynamesyow19 · 2014-03-17T15:03:13+00:00

Just remember that for everyone, in the beginning the Answer is ALWAYS "No.", you just have to get it to "Maybe..." so work on that instead of getting it to "yes." from the jump. If you can get it to maybe through being a nice, intelligent, laid back individual then You're making the most of the situation and let 'luck' and hormones do the rest...

Zack_Fair_ · 2014-03-17T16:47:36+00:00

what you have is a a non-problem. in your post you meticulously identify your weaknesses and you know damn well how to adress them. ( hint : do not make the mistakes you know you make ) so get out there and do it !!!

you're not like some of the other guys here who are having a problem like for example " I can't conversate longer than 5 minutes with a girl " or " how can I escalate kino ? " . these are real problems without easy fixes. your problem is not like these, because you already know the answer, do you understand ?

ordo79 · 2014-03-17T19:39:30+00:00

I'm the same way as you. Talking to girls is no problem. Meeting girls is no problem. Attracting is no problem [most times ;)]. Its taking the next step right? Getting into a relationship is where I have difficulty. I figure the best way to do it, is to just do it. Like Nike.

RandianHero · 2014-03-17T23:21:19+00:00

Well, you already know what you're doing wrong, so the only thing left is to cowboy the fuck up and force yourself to do the opposite. And if you think you can't, that's bullshit. Even something as simple as learning how to ride a bike takes a measure of forcing yourself through your fear. If you ever learned how to ride a bike, you can sack up and force yourself to act like a man.

deepsouldier · 2014-03-18T04:06:05+00:00

Ask yourself everytime you have to take a decision - what's the more difficult thing - and do it. Do it 10 times tomorrow. Think of decisions you take everyday. Water or coke? Walk or cab/car? Approach or be shy?

To start, have one day each week - and decide to take the more difficult option. For every decision. You will be steel before you know it.

throwawaysundayz · 2014-03-18T08:11:11+00:00

Own what you are. You're a typical weak nice guy, that won't change overnight and may never change. Chances are you're gonna have to change some things about yourself to get more confidence with women, whether it be working out, changing your wardrobe up, expanding your social circle, flat out doing more approaches, etc. But don't think that you have to be the stereotypical GUY. You will have to express some male interests (sports is a good example) and get a little cocky sometimes, but you don't have to be macho 24/7. I hate those dudes and they're usually meatheads.

I'm a sensitive ass nancy boy. On any given day you can catch me listening to girl music while updating my tumblr. See, I really don't give a fuck, I own it. I don't try to be the guy always AMOG'ing or driving a truck or talking about guns, hot babes and BBQ. That's not me. I know I have stuff going for me, and I can communicate these things to women, so I get laid. My technique is always: bold and unapologetic before sleeping with a girl, express interest in a non-needy way. After I sleep with a girl I dial down a bit of that boldness and I'm more free to be myself. After all, I've already gotten laid, so no need to be all PUA badass. relax and loosen your belt a little. I like cuddling with the girl after sex while whispering sweet nothings, it's awesome.

Even if you're a nice guy, you can come off as bold and unapologetic with women. It's all in your choice of words and demeanor. Women want to be wanted but that's after they've had a little "chase" and excitement. I had to learn the hard way that "hey you're beautiful" and "any guy would be lucky to have you" are NOT good ways to pick up women. When I see these supplicating beta male comments on photo comments, I always laugh. It is usually replied with "Awe thank you!" and the guy is no closer to getting the box.

I remember when I was 15, still a virgin, getting schooled by the older boys. One told me, "throwawaysundayz, pussy isn't gonna just fall in your lap. you gotta go out and get it." Now, there is a caveat: one day pussy will just fall in your lap, and for some guys they've mastered the art of making it rain with pussy, but most men have to take charge. Women like men who take charge. Try taking charge with women dude.

If you're anything like me you're probably interesting as fuck and you say they're eyeing you. So it sounds like you're gonna have a field day when you tap into how to pick up.

lord_of_vader · 2014-03-18T16:37:18+00:00

trying to seek approval of girls

This is your issue in a nutshell.

Start by seeking the approval of yourself. A lot of guys think "pick up" is a series of tactics and strategies for tricking girls into letting you put your penis into them. That's simply not true.

Picking up girls and getting them to like you is learning to become a man that women want. Women want a strong, confident, assertive, yet polite, kind, and understanding man.

Title	How to be the GUY?
Author	clariness
Upvotes	3
Comments	11
Date	March 17, 2014 12:57 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/20mj9b/how_to_be_the_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-be-the-guy.1367692 https://theredarchive.com/post/1367692

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