How to get better at conversations? Like, to get more fun, deep and more personal stuff out..

Tofabyk · 2014-04-05T13:36:46+00:00

I follow the this structure when talking to other people that I don't know well.

Presence - What's going on? What is this? Who was that?

Perfect Past - When did you have the most fun in a similar situation?

Perfect Future - What would make this situation perfect?

Perfect present - Look at us talking so nicely, maybe everything is alright already.

The trick is to create positve emotions by asking other people about situations when they felt good (to show what they enjoy). Then ask them how they imagine a better future (to find out what's interesting to them).

Adding your own stories (and pictures of a better future) that respond to the same need behind their interest makes you a very interesting person if done right. Finally you move this better future into the presence.

Practice this and you will be the king of social skills. Ever wonderd how comercials work? They show a nice image of the beach and the brand name. That's it.

And you can do the same by making them think about nice things while you're around.

It's also helpful to ask about details so they have to look at their perfect picture closer and closer. What did it look, sound, smell, taste, feel like? are very powerful questions. Because they make other people look even closer at their picture of a perfect summer day. And therefore feel stronger positive emotions.

619shepard · 2014-04-05T17:33:25+00:00

This article changed my approach to conversations with new people

faker2 · 2014-04-05T09:34:00+00:00

This is something I struggle with too. I have been dating most of my adult life (just seemed to work out in my favor) and have begun hitting the bar scene single for the first time ever at 23 and I suck. As a girl told me tonight "you really have to learn how to pick up girls at a bar". That was a great confidence booster.

I can do the hey i'm so and so who are you with some kino on the dance floor but after the introduction I don't know where to go. the same thing with online dating I have three messages with "hey how are you" that I don't know where to take them.

JF803 · 2014-04-05T11:45:59+00:00

Passion. Find hers out, share yours. I like to ask really off the wall questions too, actually askreddit is great for conversation topics

ThePUA_Baddie · 2014-04-05T17:17:17+00:00

Need some help with this too, yesterday I was on a date and I really had to flex my conversation skills, was tough. All I can think of is applying FORD tbh, family occupation recreation and dreams. That should help you branch out. I also tried to kick things off by playing the questions game, we take turns asking questions and you can't ask the same question back to each other. Got that one from simple pickup. I think developing a conversation is simple but making it meaningful is the hardest part

Redmarr89 · 2014-04-05T19:36:26+00:00

A couple years ago I read a book called "The art of conversation" for a sales job, and it really helped with in depth conversations in social settings. The author details scenarios and it was a lot of fun to read.

haigooby · 2014-04-05T15:20:34+00:00

Conversation threading.

Title	How to get better at conversations? Like, to get more fun, deep and more personal stuff out..
Author	vlarone
Upvotes	43
Comments	13
Date	April 5, 2014 8:49 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/229dia/how_to_get_better_at_conversations_like_to_get/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-get-better-at-conversations-like-to-get.1368679 https://theredarchive.com/post/1368679

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