How to get your ex on a date?

hunterpua · 2024-04-03T17:46:18+00:00

If you want to end up on a date with your ex, behave very passively with her and wait until she asks you out.

What's going on at this point, when your breakup is still fairly fresh is that both of you are still trying to adjust to life without each other.

The reason she's hitting you up and saying all these things isn't necessarily because she actually wants to see you but because getting some attention from you in this way makes this adjustment period much easier for her.

Think of it like she's weaning herself off of you rather than just quitting you cold turkey and having to deal with "withdrawals".

Keep in mind, she's not necessarily doing this on purpose. It's just what feels right to her.

If your goal is to get back together, you want her to sit in the crap of those withdrawals while subtly showing her that you'll only help her get relief if she makes moves to get back together.

So what you wanna do is be very passive, just sit back and look at what she's doing.

If she says she misses you and just expresses her feelings. Don't respond. Just ignore that.

If she asks to talk, in person or on the phone, get back to her very late, at your most convenient time, and reluctantly agree.

If while you're talking she just tries to shoot the shit and basically tries to get some semblance of what it was like when you used to date, swiftly but politely excuse yourself and go and do something else that's important or fun for you.

You don't have to say what it is, just say you got something else to do.

If you're meeting up, you can also pre-emptively say you might not have a lot of time.

Be nice and cordial when you do talk but don't try to carry the conversation, don't try to express how you feel, don't make any suggestions subtle or otherwise that would lead you back together.

Just sit and wait for what she has to say.

If it's just expressing herself or trying to fluff talk then politely bail like mentioned above.

If she does say or do something in the direction of trying to get back together then hear her out and let her make a case for it before you eventually agree to it.

Just keep repeating this process until she pushes it to the point of actually getting back together.

If she gives up before that, move on. And in fact start seeing other girls today. I'd say you're already 4 months overdue for that.

That won't necessarily mess anything up because 1, you don't have to tell her, and 2, it'll generally take more than a couple of weeks to determine whether someone is relationship material.

And 3, having other options will actually help you be more level headed and not lose your nerve so you can avoid cracking and tearfully begging her to come back.

Having other options will also help you put actual pressure on her by being genuinely doubtful and hesitant whenever she tries to make a move forward with you, giving her an incentive to actually put some meaningful effort into her moves.

If you really want her back and you want her to actually commit, she has to be the one who pursues the relationship every step of the way like this.

If all it takes to get you back is some sad words and a little crying (something women do recreationally), she'll just take you for granted and you'll feel like you're the only one working to keep the relationship afloat because you would have essentially been the one who worked to get it going for a second time.

You want her to work to get you back so that she values it more and she actually continues to try to keep it afloat.

If you refuse to do it like this and you instead are the one who pursues the relationship again, at best it's gonna be as good as staying broken up because I guarantee it won't last very long.

VrilHunter · 2024-04-03T19:05:28+00:00

Don't.

Pegmaster6969696969 · 2024-04-03T17:19:43+00:00

It's your ex for a reason.

Don't be dumb.

president_at_gmails · 2024-04-03T17:27:39+00:00

Insist.

You both want back. She's being cautious. Your job is to comfort her and be assertive. "We both would regret it more if we never meet again."

tampawn · 2024-04-03T17:48:49+00:00

Give her lots of space and date other people...

And ask yourself about the reasons you broke up...will the issues you had still be there and still be unworkable?

Because after a breakup you always remember the great times and forget about the troubles.

But to get her back tell her you regret the breakup too, that you still love her and if she doesn't want to meet you understand. But if she ever wants to get together to call you, but only then. You need to move on if she doesnt want to meet. Then leave it up to her. Nine times out of ten she won't call but if she does then it will be SHE that wants to meet. Now its just you...and that's not enough.

SaleganCz · 2024-04-03T18:03:39+00:00

I had one an ex to come back. It was after breakup initiated by her. I used few legit opportunities to remind her of me (sending some money to even out debts from living together and so on), then one month of complete radio silence (radio silence is a term used here for a purpose - it's a military term and if you even once break the silence, you are done, and the same applies to exes), went almost crazy in the end, then she texted me if she can call yes. We had at least 9 hours long call until 5am in the morning, lasted one more year together. However, she never accepted or suggested a date. She just wanted to call and text, I had to just forcefully come to her town to be physically together again.

The only thing you can do is be passive, keep your silence, remind her of you in a way that also does not show that you are thinking about her, and let her build a feeling of missing you and let herself convince that it was a mistake to let you go. And she should be the one suggesting a date.

rippfx · 2024-04-03T18:11:10+00:00

scars are there to show it healed. Just a reminder to not do what caused it. If both you can look beyond the scars, it can work. That's only if BOTH of you do that.

Acceptable_Act1435 · 2024-04-03T19:52:27+00:00

So she says she misses you and don't wants to go with you on a date...? Bro, she's playing with you. She probably kind of misses the good times sometimes when she is bored, but deep down, she doesn't want to be with you, she just wants to feel to you still love her, because it feels good to feel loved and that someone is obsessing over you.

Tell her "you know what, you are right, it's not a good idea" and move on. Either she will get more interested (unless you start showing interest again) or maybe she wont. In any case, if you are getting together anytime, it's not gonna be soon. Even if you go back together, you will regress to old behaviors and patterns and break up again. Better move on and improve whatever you can

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-04-03T20:43:14+00:00

Send her a song and say "do you remember, this song played on the radio on our first date. When I hear it, I always remember our first kiss."

dobbs1997 · 2024-04-04T00:52:14+00:00

So don’t see her, if she thinks it’s a bad idea, DO NOT see her, you are wasting your valuable time, it doesn’t matter why she’s saying it, leave it be (even though you won’t) lol and move on bro.,

Spiritual_Low8248 · 2024-04-04T03:13:16+00:00

https://youtu.be/9Vk7c867MV0?si=FNXoi0uMQSYjiOul

https://youtu.be/TORB-3sCgpU?si=HG4N1PU6ThyxjVhS

https://www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-rogers-ca-rvc3&source=android-browser&q=oneitis

ShowerAble8478 · 2024-04-03T17:58:35+00:00

Is she a narcissist?

Born-Research-6406 · 2024-04-03T17:50:16+00:00

You gave her the lil validation she needed by admitting you’re still sitting there waiting for her lol. Move on and don’t be desperate.

AtDaLastMinute · 2024-04-03T19:06:46+00:00

Move on. She wants to play games. It's a cyclical thing. Y'all end up exactly how you finished the last time.

Mexcol · 2024-04-03T17:25:08+00:00

Have some self respect, move on.

m0rb33d · 2024-04-03T17:31:20+00:00

She needs your validation, not you

coconautico · 2024-04-03T17:21:21+00:00

You don't.

tilldeathdoiparty · 2024-04-03T20:34:01+00:00

Bro, you just hit the jackpot, this means you win.

She thought she could do better, didn’t and now she wants to know if you’re available to her.

Don’t be, you’ve won and now you have found a way to do better. Leave it, it almost NEVER works, I wouldn’t even go for the bonus sex.

You won, take the W and don’t turn it into an L

Dipdopdangle · 2024-04-03T20:25:37+00:00

Rob775533 · 2024-04-03T17:18:31+00:00

Cloroform?

I know you don't want to hear this, but it's probably best to just move on and cut her out of your life.

Having someone claiming to love you and refusing to even meet you sounds like a depressing waste of energy.

Title	How to get your ex on a date?
Author	adamcsek
Upvotes	0
Comments	28
Date	April 3, 2024 5:13 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1buy6h1/how_to_get_your_ex_on_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-get-your-ex-on-a-date.1514007 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514007

Comments