How to turn shame off?

Tremaparagon · 2015-07-12T18:30:20+00:00

Menu -> Options -> Character -> Traits

Then unclick the checkbox.

I think it's just practice. It has a lot to do with being self-conscious. I used to be very shut-in but as I slowly started becoming more social I also have learned to be less embarassed and care less.

cmiovino · 2015-07-12T15:40:59+00:00

It's hard. I usually use alcohol as a crutch too to get those first approaches and rejections going, then taper off. Only 1-2 drinks. Even if I'm day 2ing a girl and we're out for drinks, it seems to go better.. easier to escalate, etc.

Alternatively, I do daygame and don't drink. I do stupid things sometime like mumbling Pokemon noises to myself and laughing about it. I also laugh at each rejection... like overly laugh. This greatly helps get into the mood. Basically anything that self amuses you - most people can't do this. I think it's a great skill to develop just in life in general.

MacFatty · 2015-07-12T17:17:35+00:00

This is where "Don't give a fuck what others think" apply.

I'd dare say it's not shame, rather you are embarrassed to be seen dancing like a silly, afraid of rejection and so on.

Like anything else, get out there and practice. Don't get hammered the next couple of times you go out, have a drink or two but not too much, and get used to dancing with girls and what not while not super intoxicated. People will not care less or more if you dance and enjoy yourself while sober or only slightly tipsy.

postemporary · 2015-07-12T18:01:27+00:00

This all depends on what you have to look forward to, and it's a broad stroke from the same brush that paints your vision of self value. For instance, you're going to approach but then you get a bit of cold feet. What if she rejects me or says something mean and it hurts? This is the point where a person with sufficient self worth would not think "oh I don't care what she does/says, because I have self worth." They would instead think, "Even if she rejects me, I'll be able to go home and play that fucking badass video game I've been looking forward to," or "Even if she laughs, I'll fucking laugh too because I still got that badass party later, and I made hella quiche to share with my friends."

When you've got things to live for, rejection is just another part of life.

JacksLackOfSuprise · 2015-07-12T20:35:15+00:00

Don't ring the bell

JohnBlind · 2015-07-12T20:46:12+00:00

Your shame seems to stem from insecurity. If you do something and others do not approve or ridicule you and in turn you feel ashamed. Correct?

If that is the case, try switching perspective. Nobody worth your time ridicules/disapproves with the intent to get another person to sit in shame for 2 hours, if they do they're doing it so they themselves can't fall victim to it, which is the ultimate insecurity; you should not waste any energy on them.

Try to do things for you, not for anyone else. If you wanna do some goofy shit ask yourself if you find it funny. Yes? Go ahead, it's your fun. No? Don't do it. You don't get payed to be a clown!

Lastly, we're all random elements mashed together in a certain way in a universe made of the same random elements. 1 being using his elements to create a soundwave is insignificant and should be treated as such ;)

kitoplayer · 2015-07-12T18:40:21+00:00

Exposure therapy.

zhico · 2015-07-12T20:25:16+00:00

Take a picnic blanket, go down to the pedestrian way? (street with lost of shops, but no traffic). Put blanket down in the middle of the street. Have a picnic.

asap_aquino · 2015-07-12T20:40:00+00:00

Hmm.. i think this article can help you out! the subtle art of not giving a fuck

klman0225 · 2015-07-12T21:23:34+00:00

Just like everything else in life it is all about practice and drills. The drill that helped me the most was actively seeking getting rejected. I mean go out and make a list of 24 ways girls have to say no to you. Make a bingo board out of those ways and go out and try to get bingo. Examples would be "The fake boyfriend excuse" "The fake number excuse" etc.

This will make you actively seek being rejected in a fun entertaining way. Since you're not trying to get laid, you don't care what they think of you. After months and months and many bingos, you'll find you're just going out and having fun.

Pussy4T · 2015-07-12T23:25:49+00:00

your intentions are clear. that careless attitude comes before the alcohol. the alcohol is the mask you hide behind

darkbooks · 2015-07-13T20:04:03+00:00

It is not so easy to overcome shame. This is due to beliefs, self-esteem, while a person considers himself and others people, it is difficult to change. I think you need a lot of practice and gradually change yourself or pass special courses of NLP or pickup training and get help to change your mind more quickly with professional trainers.

CabbagedDaughter · 2015-07-12T18:00:59+00:00

"Dont give a fuck" and big gonads.

speaksK · 2015-07-12T21:37:22+00:00

You need to fundamentally change who you are.

You are your subconscious, if your subconscious is a shameless, go for it kinda guy, you'll always find yourself doing interesting stuff cause you don't feel the shyness.

Changing your subconscious mind is like changing a habit. you need to constantly remind yourself about it and do similar things that people do to change a habit. What you're basically doing is developing a habit of not feeling shame.

So make a daily list of things you want to do, but not brave enough to do (the sooner in the day the better). And do all of them, but not mindlessly, each time you do something think of why whatever the outcome is, it doesn't matter and meditate about this thought, then do it and prove yourself right, then onto the next shameless activity. It could be as simple as doing pushups in the middle of a mall. When you do that shameful activity, you'll feel that you can do a lot more stuff that you'd naturally not feel like doing.

It is very important that you keep doing it, after doing it consecutively for 40-60 days. you'll then start to feel drunk(shameless) with no alcohol whatsoever. But if you stop the feeling of shame will come back again.

gr3g-_- · 2015-07-13T01:16:31+00:00

For a quick fix, make yourself laugh. Anything you think is funny, maybe have a few goldies that always do the trick. Laughter instantly breaks inner tension and you can have a clearer mind to not give fucks!

Title	How to turn shame off?
Author	McDuffBSmith
Upvotes	62
Comments	28
Date	July 12, 2015 3:23 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3d0qak/how_to_turn_shame_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-turn-shame-off.1390942 https://theredarchive.com/post/1390942

Comments