I joined a pickup forum about a year ago, and all of the advice was to 'get your inner game sorted!' Specifically, get a job, learn an instrument, get a hobby, start working out.

I had my reservations about this advice, because a number of my friends were unemployed dead-beats who were always having sex with various girls, but I took the advice regardless.

I got a job. I learnt the guitar and, to some level, the piano. I joined a football team. I started working out with weights 3-4 times per week.

Throughout that time, I have approached lots of girls - mainly in bars. But I am still just getting 99% rejections. I'd say I've made maybe 400 approaches. Got 2 make-outs and one lay.

(part of) The problem is that i'm still not confident. None of the 'inner game tasks' have actually helped in terms of girls. How can they? Learning the guitar doesn't make me feel any less intimidated or hopeful when walking up too a stunning girl in a bar.

I feel as though you can't really have 'inner game' and confidence WITH GIRLS, unless you actually have the positive reference experiences? (hence the 'catch 22' in the title)

I'm at the stage where I am experimenting a lot with all sort of things (direct, indirect, aloof, showing my intentions very clearly with either words or kino, fun vibe, chilled out James bond vibe etc etc) but it just feel as though nothing is working. You do naturally wonder whether it's simply a matter of not being handsome enough for girls to be interested.