Two days ago I had a really good date with a girl I met on Bumble. Before the date, we chatted for five days straight—first on Bumble, then on WhatsApp. The messages were flirty, and I felt confident being direct. She was very receptive and seemed genuinely interested.

Then came the date. She turned out to be even more attractive than in her photos, which made me a bit nervous at first. Still, I quickly got back into the flirty vibe, which helped lighten the mood. We went for a bike ride, then had breakfast, and later grabbed dessert. Throughout the date, she remained engaged and interested, even making comments that hinted at future plans (she mentioned maybe going to a concert together, for example).

At the end of the date, I walked her home and managed to kiss her—a long one. When we said goodbye, she asked me to let her know when I got home, which I did. An hour later, she sent me an Instagram reel related to something we talked about during the date.

The next day, I sent her a reel to spark a conversation, but she barely replied, although she made a comment about how much she like my name (which was a topic we discussed during the date). Today, I haven’t messaged her, and she hasn’t messaged me either.

This kind of situation happens to me a lot, and it's honestly one of the things that gives me the most anxiety when it comes to dating—especially with girls I really like. I’ve noticed a pattern: before the first date, messaging is constant and the vibe is great. Then, even after a really good date with great conversation, chemistry, and even a kiss, the girls often stop taking initiative. I end up being the one who has to keep the convo going.

I don’t spam them or anything—usually I’ll just message them twice a week: once to stay on the radar, and once to ask them out again. The weird thing is, they usually reply positively and even agree to second or third dates. Even after sex, some of them still don’t initiate contact.

So, I’ve had to swallow my pride, accept the “male role,” and keep being the one who leads. But honestly, I’d like to change this dynamic. It makes me feel a bit needy, and I’d love to feel more in control. Maybe it’s a sign there’s something I could improve in my game.

Would appreciate any thoughts or advice. Thanks!