~ archived since 2018 ~

Is This A Shit Test Or A Sign to backoff

lbz25 · 2019-02-20T04:04:50+00:00

So I'm texting with this girl off of hinge and when I tried to make plans with her she was on vacation until wednesday. I'm now trying to reschedule...

lbz25

February 20, 2019

1 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Is This A Shit Test Or A Sign to backoff
Author	lbz25
Upvotes	1
Comments	34
Date	February 20, 2019 4:04 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/asjow0/is_this_a_shit_test_or_a_sign_to_backoff/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-this-a-shit-test-or-a-sign-to-backoff.1462810 https://theredarchive.com/post/1462810

Comments

[–]Kenic_In_MD 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]lbz25 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Kenic_In_MD 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PeperoParty 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lbz25 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]R_n_P 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheXXL 7 years ago [recovered] (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]R_n_P 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago* (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheXXL 7 years ago [recovered] (11 children) | Copy Link

Maybe I missed the part where he tried too often, but rescheduling one date (My math is a bit rusty, but I think this would amount to two tries) is not too often.

Also, we don't know much about this situation, so we could only jump to conclusions which I don't, since it's pointless. If we would, we could ask what did she actually mean? She suffixed her statement with "hahaha" which could mean she was amused, this could mean she was flirting, this could mean she was nervous, this could mean she doesn't know what pushy means and we could do this forever, you probably see the pointlessness in this?

Anyway, I would like to contribute something to the question at hand: to the OP, you should not take her frame, as in apologizing or explaining yourself. I was even considering to recommend you to reply something like "I am not pushy, I go for what I want." but again, that would be accepting her frame which is a bad Idea. Just say something along the lines of: "You're missing out on a lot of fun :) I will let you know when I have time for another try".

[–]R_n_P 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheXXL 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

The "haha" was her way of taking the seriousness off a little...

And now you're a mindreader?

If she really wanted a date she would have offered a different day.

I absolutely agree on that.

She didn't. A girl that is interested will make is easy for you to walk through her doors.

Half true, and for the most part this is black and white PUA thinking. In general I would agree though that it is not really leading to anything to try to understand her motives.

"You're missing out". She don't care.

And your mind reading skills tell you that? A girl that would not care, would not even reply to his text. Like I said, black and white thinking.

She don't even know dude. Sounds lame and cliche don't you think?

It amuses me that people always try to come up with a super uncommon response while this is as well pointless. What I recommended was that he doesn't just ghost her, making her think he's sulky (I hope this is the right word) because of her reply. This way he will not end up with bad feelings, and he didn't completely close the door on her.

Best advice. Don't message her. 97% of men will respond with something trying to make a case for himself or try to blow it off.

Are you just replying PUA theory or do you actually have experience with this stuff? It is not like women nowadays don't know that the guy is playing games with her, which is super unattractive. I also don't see any reason not to reply to her saying "you're pushy", since this was not a complete rejection, but part of a conversation/finding a date to meet. If he now just never texts again, she will definitely think he is a childish little cunt for feeling hurt. Showing her that he doesn't take this as an insult will at least give it another chance.

When she doesn't get a response she'll wonder why dude hasn't responded to her message like the other 97%.

Wait... didn't you just write: "She don't care." and "She don't even know dude."? Why would she suddenly care? The way I see it you are only parroting PUA theory.

That's shows strength and confidence. The ability to walk away.... Because quite frankly, I wouldn't care if she never responded. She ain't worth my time. Next

Sure, walking away is a whole other topic and has nothing to do with not being a childish idiot (not replying to her text). She didn't do anything bad here. If she disrespected him, I'd agree.

[–]R_n_P 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheXXL 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

It's not a game.

Suddenly not responding with anything after a mild remark like hers, would be playing games. Your comment describes this in perfection, as in: "she will respond if you freeze her", which is uncalled for.

It's understanding women and how they emotionally respond.

And you can read her emotions by knowing nothing about her, nothing about the conversation? I call bullshit on this, since if you actually knew how "women respond emotionally" you would know that women are no hive mind and respond to different things in different ways. We cannot assess anything from those few words, only guess.

But you do you. It's worked for me in my personal life and has helped many others.

What helped you, playing the "freezing" game? I can tell you, if a girl is not interested, it won't help anything. If a girl is interested, it will most likely backfire if you don't execute it in a reasonable way, as in: She disrespects you, behaves badly and so on.

I honestly haven't read any of the PUA stuff you talk about. But we got options.

I kind of feel like you are avoiding the real points I made by pulling up a straw man argument which I never made, I even agree on a lot of points you made.

We don't need to waste time with women who aren't available. It offers us no value if a women doesn't make herself available...

I wonder why you feel the need to come up with this again, just like I disagreed with you on this, which I didn't.

Again, it's not a game.

Not responding to a girl because she hurt your little fee fee's, by writing "you are pushy hahaha" with the hope in mind that she will come crawling back to you after a while, is playing games. Responding with something neutral or even unfazed is the right way to go, combined with moving on and not caring about the outcome of course.

It's about understanding women emotions, women behavior, and how they emotionally respond.

I will write it out one more time, just for you: women are no hive mind they respond differently to different things, and no woman responds in the same way others do. Also, you cannot read her mind, and definitely not know what her 5 word reply actually meant. Stop thinking in black and white.

In general I think you don't understand anything I wrote, and if you do, your ego is in the way to admit that you know nothing (like all of us). How else would anyone interpret the fact that you avoid the disagreements and focus on pulling up a straw man to attack the points we agree on.

[–]R_n_P 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheXXL 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]R_n_P1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheXXL1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don't need to provide arguments.

When you are participating in a discussion, you do. And did you participate in a discussion? Yes. Of course if all you bring to the table is random babble, no one will take you seriously or even believe a word you say...

Because I don't need to prove anything to anyone.

hahaha you really sound frustrated... Provide good arguments and you might convince the other people you are so desperately trying to prove your point to.

You on the other hand, have more issues then just your dating "game".

haaah... that moment when a random "know it all" comes along, tries to convince strangers on the Internet that their view is the only right one, and when confronted with other views mixed in with facts, they suddenly start projecting their insecurities and frustration on their "opponent". It is not like I haven't had this type of conversation a hundred times on this sub...

Look my friend, your whole demeanor and your points made, show that you are angry. This anger is due to women as it is clearly visible. You probably think that women are all the same, and they are all bad and treat you sooo bad, and so on. Then you came across some PUA literature and you feel like you found the holy grail and the only truth. Now you try to push your narrow view of things to others and get even more angry when people call you out on your bullshit. So angry that all you do is attacking points others agree with you on, since attacking the disagreements would show your lack of experience.

Like I said, women are not a hive mind, period. Playing games will not get you anywhere and punishing a girl for not doing what you want is childish. The keyword here is calibration. You should look into that, it might blow your mind. Oh and you still avoid clearing up your contradictions in your first comment towards me where you claim to know that this girl doesn't care about him, only to say if he will play the freezing game she will suddenly come back crawling to him because she wonders why he doesn't text anymore, this shows your lack of experience in the most painful way possible.

[–]R_n_P1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheXXL1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

People project their insecurities to the world. Im angry?

Yes you are.

Yet you're the one swearing,

Swearing? You mean I am not sugarcoating my language... I can assure you I am as relaxed as can be.

messaging too much,

Who am I messaging? I don't get your point.

and can't leave me alone.

This is an interesting perspective, but absolutely wrong. We are having a discussion, and you are not obliged to reply, I would forget this discussion after about a day and never think about you again at all.

Clearly you have a lot of insecurities and anger issues that clouds your mind and your judgement.

Now you are trying the "reflecting" method on me? Nice try my friend, nice try.

You're acting like the guy who just can't get the clue and leave the girl alone.

So in your mind you are the girl and giving me clues? Ok. I assume you are a guy, and as a guy I expect you to say out clearly what you want, and then, don't cry if anyone disagrees. If you are not capable of doing that, you should not publicly comment or even reply to criticism of your obvious shortcomings and contradictions.

So because you are butthurt, you start raging and blowing up her phone.

Hahaha you are a funny guy... Usually someone comes up with such storied because it is what he would do, so jokes on you man.

Trying to get an explanation or to get "closure" to make you feel better. You a bit needy eh?

I am giving you the chance to clarify yourself on issues you are not understanding (obviously) but you are behaving like you claimed you would in your first comment: Trying to defend your hurt ego because someone called your out on your bullshit. Man up. Stop trying to avoid the main disagreement.

Anything else? If it will make you feel better.

I fell better than ever before, thank you for caring, seriously.

Tell me everything that is on your mind. Let it all out. Tell me what is frustrating you?

Did you read that line in a psychology article on buzzfeed? That doesn't really work on me.

At least you disqualified yourself during this discussion by the absence of logic, consistency and made it clear that your approach is born out of frustration and anger, a good lesson for everyone else not to be that type of guy. Thank you for this demonstration.

[–]R_n_P1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lbz25 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]R_n_P 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lbz25 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]R_n_P -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]lbz25 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]R_n_P 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]lbz25 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

If your approach works then you wouldn't be here...

You don't know if it hasn't worked until she says "I don't want to go out with you" or ignores me. She also followed me on instagram in the last few minutes.

Don't worry about relationship status just focus on making her laugh, having fun, and hooking up.

I agree with this 100% for first dates, and even second dates.

The only problem with this mindset though is that you leave yourself open to wasting a lot of time on a girl who could very well just be going out with you cuz she's bored or wants an ego trip. Unfortunately I work a lot of hours so time is not a super abundant resource. I like to use it as wisely as possible. If things aren't going anywhere, its a sign that you need to think about the status of the relationship.

Over time, if you don't mess up, she'll want to be exclusive

cmon now lol. I'm not trying to walk a tight rope to prove myself boyfriend material

[–]R_n_P 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]bazookateeth 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]R_n_P 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]bazookateeth 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Funkimonkey 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]lbz25 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Funkimonkey 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link