Since stepping up my game my overall outlook on life has changed, and it's evident in the way I deal with people.

I've started reading How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie as a supplement to my game techniques and I've gotten multiple compliments from not only the girls I approach but also coworkers. For example yesterday one came by and we were just shooting the shit. She then takes a minute to stop and reflect and comments how there's something really different about me, in a good way. I played it off as if I didn't know what she was talking about but I did instantly - it's my confidence and attitude. It permeates your being and others pick up on it.

I've gotten fairly friendly with wait staff and servers at restaurants too, despite having no intention of running actual pickup game on them either, and both males and females are super receptive. I've made multiple people smile/laugh in the last week and if you asked me a month ago if I could have done it I certainly would have said no; I would have said that my social anxiety would cripple me to the most basic awkward interaction.

You can overcome the anxiety. One sort of trick I've been using is a mental mechanical reaction to anxiety: whenever I feel it building up I imagine myself being the person I want - cool, calm, confident, then I say to myself (internally) that this feeling of anxiety is fuel for this projection. It sounds stupid and for a while I felt like a goof but now it's almost a Pavlovian response and it actually enhances my ability to interact with people. In a way I understand that my anxiety is just a signal for what I'm about to do and after coming to terms with that it moves me into action.

Another tip that Dale Carnegie's book touches on is internal reflection of past interactions. This is something I never took the time to do before but is helping me evaluate all aspects of interaction with others. I stop and think about who I met, and if I'm happy with the way the interactions went. If not, why not, and what would I or could I have done differently? By examining these interactions I become more aware of not only my own intentions but what others might expect to get out of the interaction as well.

So the point of this post is to perhaps motivate some of those struggling into action, and give you hope. If I did it, so can you.