Let's talk about going to bars alone. . .

Saint947 · 2011-07-23T04:07:56+00:00

there doesn't seem to be anything here.

Haha

depends on the layout. A few times I've made friends with a couple guys I've found, proceeded to be their extremely aggressive wingman (using them as an excuse to introduce us to groups of girls), and then stood back and acted uninterested in the girls I just hooked my new friends up with. Half the time they mess up and the girls come to talk to me and figure out what was up. The other half of the time the most aggressive girls in the group will come talk to me to figure out why I'm not hitting on them. Not to mention I just got serious social cred with the guys who will talk me up like crazy.

danxmason · 2011-07-23T06:09:41+00:00

You can do anything as long as you don't stand there silently like a tool. If you find yourself standing alone in the corner with your drink not talking to anyone, you have the stink of death and you need to leave.

rubygeek · 2011-07-23T13:06:52+00:00

Touch random people. Seriously. Consider this in addition to the other advice here, or if you have AA when going out alone, use it to "warm up":

Go into the busiest area of the bar and whenever you pass someone, grab their shoulder to get past or pat people on the shoulder, upper back, or chest (alternative for guys). Look at their face as you do. Smile, nod, say hi, thank them for making space. Shake their hands if it feels natural.

It gets you used to being more touchy feely, but it also makes you seem far more social, as most people don't get touchy feely with total strangers, yet everyone accepts having someone do the things mentioned above as a way of being pushed aside in a friendly way in a busy bar/club. People will see you walking through the crowd, touching, smiling and talking to people.

Some of these people are also virtually guaranteed to want to actually chat to you then and there, or to open you later on.

This applies when with friends too, but makes a bigger difference when you go it alone: There is never any good reason to go through a crowd in a club or a bar without being seen to talk to everyone in your path.

And the best part of this is that this is so "low impact" that it takes pretty massive AA to not be able to do it, and it will desensitize you more to approaches later on.

derpiato · 2011-07-23T08:06:39+00:00

Main thing is to talk to people. I'll usually start by introducing myself to other guys there. It helps you get in the game, and helps you look the part.

nwsreddit · 2011-07-23T13:22:09+00:00

Hotel bars. I'll let you make your own inferences.

frogma · 2011-07-23T04:24:19+00:00

This is where I thrive. Solo bar game makes up probably 60-75% of my "game." [Though keep in mind, I usually go to bars with friends, and then I separate from them.]

You have infinite options. You can talk to everyone, or you can just pick out the girls you want and talk to them. You can go straight to the dancefloor to find girls, or you can stay wherever you're at to meet girls that way.

What I usually do is get a drink from the bar, flirt with whatever girl's nearest to me at the bar (and leave it open for later), then on my way to the dancefloor I'll open several groups of people. I usually open by either talking to the guys first (about normal guy shit) or by teasing the girl I like (but then also talking to the guys). Once you've done that with a few groups, you can use them as "anchors" later on ("These are my friends, blah blah blah").

I usually hit the dancefloor ASAP, scope out whatever girls seem to be open, and just go up and grind with them. It works basically 100% of the time.

Once I'm grinding with her for about a minute, I'll start trying to make it more intimate (I'll put my lips somewhere on her shoulder/neck/cheek area). Then she'll get the hint, and sometimes she'll pull back from me and find an excuse to leave, but a large majority of the time, we'll start making out. [Keep in mind, while I'm grinding, I'm usually moving my hands around- starting with the front of the hips, then moving to other areas if the situation seems ripe for it.]

Once I've made out with a girl (or just grinded on her), I'll usually leave her to go back to my friends or the other people I just met. I'll hang out with them for a bit, and sometimes the girl will come seek me out and I can escalate from there. Usually though, I either have to go back and find the girl I want, or go back and find some other girl. When I find that girl, I'll be making out with them ASAP, and I'll just invite them to come do whatever I plan to do (whether it's to watch a movie, or play drinking games, or have some more drinks- when the bar doesn't have any).

Then you pull the girl and do some shit with her on the way back to your place. Depending on the situation, you might do more kino, or make out with her more, or even finger her (or even fuck her) and shit. Then you get back to your place, get the clothes off, and fuck her.

2011-07-24T02:03:30+00:00

Going out alone is often the best way to meet people (read: get laid) at a bar. You're much more approachable when flying solo, even if there is a slight social stigma to overcome when doing so.

I first learned this when I bounced around the world working on merchant ships -- I always ended up in foreign countries all by my lonesome, yet still managed to have a blast and hang out with locals no matter where I was (never got laid in Saudi Arabia nor Jacksonville, FL, but that's beside the point). I was always a bit of an outsider no matter where I was; the trick is to use this to your advantage. Play up the slight novelty of being a new guy in a different place, even if you're not in a foreign country. There's always something you can use. When you're alone, introducing yourself to other people is much easier since, well, you've got nothing else to do. People accept you into their group easier than they would if you were with three dudes standing in the corner with their hands in their pockets. Contrary to popular opinion, I never found being an American to be a bad thing, even in hoity-toity Europe. I grew up in New York, and that alone was always an easy entry into every different social world I encountered. Everyone around the world romanticizes New York City to some respect, whether it be Italian girls who think you're instantly more cosmopolitan than their "boring" local guys or Turkish gangsters who give you props because their view of New York came from watching Taxi Driver too many times. Finding a way to identify with people of all sorts is absolutely necessary when you're going out alone.

Choosing the venue is also pretty important when you're by yourself; I much prefer quieter, lower key places that actually allow for conversation. Knowing the bartender (at least enough to get a friendly nod of recognition) always helps. Happy hours are great, especially ones that aren't overly crowded. Work on your pool and darts games -- play by yourself, and before you know it you'll have a group of people you're hanging out with.

I often go to bars alone to read -- watching a baseball game at the bar with a book is always a win in my book, even without any women around. I get approached all the time just minding my own business, and the book is always a great and easy conversation starter.

Another trick to avoid the stigma of going out alone -- make up a story about getting blown off by friends. My usual scapegoat is my younger brother. Once I'm in with a girl or group of people, a fake text message from my brother telling me he can't make it out removes all of the weirdness about some guy out drinking by himself on a Wednesday night.

expletive-deleted · 2011-07-23T17:15:23+00:00

Talk to everyone. I mean everyone. Make a point of it.

Title	Let's talk about going to bars alone. . .
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	52
Comments	48
Date	July 23, 2011 3:19 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ixdxt/lets_talk_about_going_to_bars_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/lets-talk-about-going-to-bars-alone.1320561 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320561

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