Looking around while talking to girls

InvisibleSolid · 2013-04-04T00:43:53+00:00

I'd keep the eye contact, looking around the room while your hitting on women kills the attraction.

NGHTMR · 2013-04-04T00:00:19+00:00

Sounds like you should know best why you're doing it. Avoiding eye contact is usually a sign of being nervous.

TAOofSTEVE · 2013-04-04T02:01:39+00:00

At the very minimum:

Keep eye contact with her while you are doing the talking: what you are saying is important. It show confidence that you are holding eye contact with her and require her to pay attention to what you are saying.
Maintain intermittent eye contact with her while she is talking. It does two things: it shows you are engaged, but not too engaged (aloof) in what she is saying. And it makes her (subconsciously) work harder to gain your approval.

CP_Cuddler · 2013-04-04T01:38:07+00:00

I agree with most of what's been posted. Not keeping eye contact usually comes off as lacking in confidence. People love eye contact, it makes them feel important and valued.

2013-04-04T00:20:32+00:00

i used to be bad at doing this, not looking around a room so much but at other girls, even if they're not as hot. it's even worse when you're attractive and you have wandering eyes because you look like a douche or player

i try to stop myself from doing this all the time because 1) i should already be talking to the most attractive girl there 2) if she's having an actual conversation with you she does deserve most of your attention

some advice here says something like she needs to feel like she could lose you at any moment. that's stupid and manipulative. now when a better-looking or at least more sexual girl's giving you eyes and vibes then yeah i would totally watch her for a few seconds and either excuse myself from the girl i'm talking to or make a note to talk to the other girl later. you can glance around the room to make sure you're not missing anything huge but if you find the room itself more interesting than the girl you should either find a new girl or take ritalin.

"I'm looking for something better" is horrible, don't think like that

NaturalAFC · 2013-04-04T00:54:53+00:00

I keep strong eye contact always, even if my body language isn't showing interest. I just think it's a sign of confidence and it's made a pretty big change in the way I interact with people.

Nathan561 · 2013-04-04T01:49:54+00:00

I can hold it, but when i look at something to long, i start to not focus on it and my peripherals start kicking in.

stqism · 2013-04-04T04:54:40+00:00

I do this to show disinterest whenever Greenpeace/whoever wants to save the whales today attempts to talk to me, I also try to shift attention to whatever's going on in the surroundings, bringing it up in the conversation...lemmie try this on women!

2013-04-04T06:37:03+00:00

If someone did that while talking to me I'd assume they were less than interested in talking to me. "Not giving a fuck" does not mean that you can just treat everyone however you like.

nittutt · 2013-04-04T08:53:38+00:00

It seems very non-needy and outcome independent. It kinda gives off that chill "I don't give a fuck" vibe, which women like.

No. It gives off the "I have no interest in you so i want something better" vibe. It kills attraction and makes you seem less confident (as you can't maintain eye contact).

UnderneathTheBridge · 2013-04-05T01:02:44+00:00

Eye contact 70% of the time. Try it

SethMemVegas · 2013-04-04T04:03:24+00:00

If you are asking, it's not a good thing. You can only pull it off if you have been molded into that "chill, not give a fuck" guy.

Babayaga20000 · 2013-04-04T04:19:52+00:00

I'm always looking around when I talk to people just because I tend to notice who comes and leaves the area. I like to notice everyone who is around me.

Being aware is something I always try to do.

adyboss8 · 2013-04-04T20:19:02+00:00

Ok, so are you reffering to keeping the head towards her and moving only the eyes in certain directions then it could just be eye accessing ques. If you move your whole head then it's not wrong at the beginning, after the approach and a bit more, but then you want to keep as much eye contact as possible.

recyclablebantha · 2013-04-05T05:17:52+00:00

You know what, I haven't seen you in the field. No one here has, I think. That said let's take a look at what you've told us.

Whenever I'm talking to girls at the bar (or just girls that I'm interested in), I always look around the room, then back at them, while talking.

Okay, got it. Seems straight forward, what you've said. I don't know HOW often you're doing this, though. I'll assume it's at least once scan around the room every 5-10 seconds.

It seems very non-needy and outcome independent.

No. no.

It kinda gives off that chill "I don't give a fuck" vibe, which women like.

Nope.

Then again, there is the chance that it makes me seem awkward.

Uh, not quite, but you're getting warmer.

I'd be fucking surprised if this little habit of yours wasn't affecting your game. But if you're doing that to some girl while you're talking to them, the first thing that pops into their head is not, "Oh, this guy is outcome independent and non-needy." They're not thinking, "Wow, this guy doesn't give a fuck, I like it."

They're probably thinking, "This guy has the attention span of a fly. He is trying to pick-up on me but he isn't even waiting until he's finished with me before he looks for another girl to pick-up on."

Regardless of what you might be thinking, what you're doing has a high likelihood of demonstrating:

Lack of attention. Insult to injury here is that, in normal conversation, a girl is giving you information that will essentially tell you how you can proceed. (Or even if you want to proceed.) But if your attention is spread across the room, the chances are increased that you're missing vital information.
Lack of confidence that you're going to succeed.
Lack of commitment to your sales pitch. (For lack of less business-y terminology.) It's half-assed.
Lack of respect.

And the worst part is, you're not only demonstrating these things to the girl you're talking to, but to every girl in the area who sees you talking to that girl.

Caveat: If you're talking about girls younger than about 22 or so.... than maybe they don't care. A lot of girls that age seem to like being treated like shit. Hey, if you want a little girl with all that baggage...... suit yourself. But you're likely to turn a lot of women off once they're past 23 or so.

Reinheardt · 2013-04-04T08:58:30+00:00

My opinion: the fact that you made a post about it makes it needy. In the way that you want to make sure it's cool. But looking around the room doesn't hurt anything, in fact I think it helps. If the girl you're talking to is saying something that she's using to get your attention, and you aren't looking at her. That's pretty cool. I'd still say looking at her works better but if you're trying to play hard to get, it looks good.

Title	Looking around while talking to girls
Author	guitarislife1392
Upvotes	29
Comments	24
Date	April 3, 2013 11:47 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1bmhpg/looking_around_while_talking_to_girls/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/looking-around-while-talking-to-girls.1349942 https://theredarchive.com/post/1349942

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