1. Background

I am a 24 year old university graduate (scientist). I have had tons of female friends during my studies. I am very social, I have no issues talking to girls (on the contrary) and I have a very high social status.

2. Reason

Despite me being someone very valuable, I haven't had a lot of success with these girls. Hence, I wondered why some guys who seemed to be less valuable had more luck with girls. What motivated my journey is my will to learn how to seduce girls, as they do.

Like most of you, I started checking r/seduction to see what more experienced people had to say on this. I started digging and digging. I have a very good capacity to dig for information since I am a scientist. And I stumbled across posts that recommended two books.

3. Book 1 - No More Mr Nice Guy (Robert A. Glover) Post after reading the book.

The night I discovered this book, I downloaded a pdf and started reading it. What was originally a quest for the mysteries of seduction became a reflection on me. I thought that this book would teach me how to seduce girls, how to get laid with them. Instead, it made me realise everything that was wrong with me.

I told you that I have tons of female friends and I have a very high social status. However, what allowed me to get this is because I was a "Mr Nice Guy" who was very needy and sought for validation. Now, the more I talked to these girls, the less a "nice guy" I was but what initially allowed me to talk to these girls is my "nice guy" behaviour. That's why I wasn't scoring anything with anyone, I wasn't blunt and honest with them. I was having covert contracts with them and expecting things in return.

I realised I had a lack of self-confidence, that I tried to compensate with other aspects in my life. So, I started being honest with people. I started saying what I had in mind, I stopped caring what they would think. In parallel to this book, I proposed things to girl 1 of my circle and started experiencing on her. You can read more about it here.

Initially, she had considered me just as a friend and showed no sign of sexual interest (before reading the book). However, the more honest I started being and the less fucks I started giving, the more I was polarising her. She started to become seduced by me. She flirted with me by commenting my new profile picture by message. She never did that before and my profile pictures are always private, so it was very spontaneous. She also clearly told me that she enjoyed the new me who was more daring than before. I didn't need her validation but I won't hide that this situation had a positive impact on me.

This girl was a previous crush of mine, back then when I was more of a nice guy and more needy. Since I'm starting to become less of that, I am much less interested in her. So, I haven't gotten sexual with her because I am not interested in her.

4. Book 2 - Models (Mark Manson) Post after reading the book.

After reading No More Mr Nice Guy, I had a clear vision of what my life should be from now on. However, I told you that what motivated my journey is my will to understand seduction better. I didn't want to learn a protocol that would allow me to seduce girls but change myself to be more daring and more honest with myself and with girls.

I needed a book to complete No More Mr Nice Guy. I got tons of recommendations but all of them had their flaws. However, Models by Mark Manson was the one that stood out and I started reading it.

The book Models hasn't taught me anything that the book No More Mr Nice Guy didn't. The concepts are basically the same: be honest (blunt) and don't put people on a pedestal (neediness), they are just worded differently and they allow you to better understand them.

However, reading Models allowed me to confirm what I had learned and I started being more daring in other situations, I started getting out of my comfort zone and being surrounded by tons of girls helped me doing things progressively.

4.1 Approaching a girl from my social circle

I asked girl 2 out for a drink with a message, she of course said yes. I spent the whole evening with her and I polarised her a lot because I was honest and blunt (not needy at all). I was just telling her what I had in mind most of the time and I could see she was being polarised. There was sexual tension, I could feel it in my pants, but the thing is that I don't know when and how you must escalate and kiss a girl. So, I just spent the evening with her and didn't go further.

4.2 Approaching a stranger by message

After this, I texted a girl I never talked to. She added me in a social platform and I was disturbed by something in her profile and I asked her by message. I talked to her and a few messages after, I asked her if she wanted to hang out, she said yes, and I asked her number. Although I asked her out after girl 2, I hanged out with her a day before girl 2. We saw at lunch but we spent only 1 hour together, so I had no clue if she interested me and vice versa.

4.3 Approaching a stranger in real life

Yesterday, I took the train and I saw a girl I had already seen in the station. The first day I saw her, I sat next to her and I remember her having a wasp on her. Yesterday, I saw her again and jokingly told her "are you the girl I saw the last time who had a wasp on her ?", she responded positively. We tchit-tchated a bit and I asked her if she wanted to hang out some time. She said yes and I asked her number. This was more challenging than it should be because: 1) we must wear masks (COVID-19), 2) she had AirPods in her ears.

4.4 Other girls

Next to the girls I stated in my previous messages, I have proposed things to 3 other girls (by message and not irl). My intention is not to get sexual with them, this is neediness and I don't need them in my life. My intention is to evaluate if they interest me, and vice versa.

5. Conclusion

My current journey allowed me to realise that what was stopping me from having opportunities with girls was not my looks, not my social status, but me. I have had self-limiting beliefs and a fear of doing things because I have cared more about what others would think of me before what I had in mind.

Facing my fears and facing eventual "rejection" (got rejected only once so far) has allowed me to see the world with more abundance that I could initially see, which boosts my confidence and decreases my overall neediness.

My journey is however not complete. I still haven't escalated with a girl and kissed one in a date, although I have already kissed girls in the past and got laid. I want to be able to make my intentions more clear in other aspects, while respecting of course the girls and not being a narcissist.

All of this occurred in 3 weeks. If I could do this in 3 weeks, imagine what I'll be able to do when I am more daring and much less needy. I will also work out to become stronger.

6. Quotes that inspired me (bonus)

"In nature, the alpha male and the bull moose don’t sit around trying to figure out what will make the girls like them. They are just themselves: fierce, strong, competitive, and sexually proud. Because they are what they are and do what they do, prospective mates are attracted."

"By making their needs a priority and putting themselves first, recovering Nice Guys can come to see the world as a place of abundance."

"Remember, you don’t have to do it perfectly. Just do it."

"Everything you say and do must be honest and authentic (non-needy), not to seek attention or validation. When in doubt, check your intentions."

"You say it because you mean it and mean it because you say it."

"The more nervous it makes you, the better, because it means you’re being authentic and making yourself vulnerable."

"I’m totally OK with the idea of you rejecting me, otherwise I would not be approaching you in this manner. Therefore, I'm comfortable with myself and my prospects."

"Think about it, if a guy wasn’t comfortable with the prospect of a woman rejecting him, he wouldn’t have been honest in the first place. In fact, he would have pretended that he wasn’t actually interested in her!"

"An attractive man expresses his interest unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. This arouses women and when they do reciprocate his interest, their interest is, in fact, a gift in return."

"Greater boldness leads to greater polarisation."

"The more vulnerable you make yourself around her - by leading, by sharing your intentions, by being honest - the more she will trust you and become vulnerable in return."

"Don’t try to hide your fears. Accept them. Embrace them."

"Do the opposite of what you would do."

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