Need serious advice

Available-Note-9652 · 2026-02-12T07:45:58+00:00

For all you know the girl might have slept with you if you were the one to text her. Unlikely, but still a possibility. Focus more on screening girls if you want better odds of closing.

HomelessMilkman · 2026-02-12T11:46:37+00:00

After hitting her up, I barely knew what to talk about over text.

Contrary to what many people weirdly believe, women aren't attracted to you 'just because'.

The whole point of 'game', the whole idea behind 'looks don't matter' is that you need active engagement to keep someone's attention; that even in the best case scenario 'passive attention' only gets you so far.

I can't exactly give you the crash course on being fun, engaging, charismatic, sustainably, that's what the subreddit is for; but the conclusion you should be drawing from here is that it's not random, and she didn't just 'happen' to choose the guy who's engaging her.

Ultimately, he's just being carefree and offering a fun experience while you were stifled, criticising yourself, micromanaging, being 'anti-fun'. That's it. That text you were thinking so deeply about should've been forgotten 2 minutes later, it's not that serious.

Haunting_Bid_408 · 2026-02-12T07:40:41+00:00

Not every girl is gonna fit you and vice versa. Sounds like they clicked really well

TMGP19 · 2026-02-12T12:56:02+00:00

Looks like you're just starting off and complaining about a one out of six conversion. That rate is laughable though. If you ever do thousands of approaches, you'll see that's not the case and most are going to be rejections. Charisma is gained as a consequence of interacting with lots of women, I believe it's developed your youth and adolescence as well. Use texting as a means of setting updates not to build rapport.

ToxicRocketry · 2026-02-12T15:56:25+00:00

“I barely knew what to talk about over text.”

Why the fuck were you trying to have a conversation over text instead of inviting her out? No shit your friend got laid, he probably just asked if she wanted to have sex or something since you handed him a golden ticket.

sparkibarki2000 · 2026-02-12T07:29:22+00:00

You should not pass people’s numbers around without their permission plus, I don’t believe your story

Relevant_Occasion_33 · 2026-02-12T13:09:04+00:00

That’s a decent rate for an average looking guy.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2026-02-12T14:08:58+00:00

As a guy who's done thousands of approaches my conversion rate from number to date is right around 1 in 6. It very much is a numbers game bro. And yes the 1 is usually the least attractive of the 6.

In general, it's going to be easier to bag less attractive chicks. So if you're just looking for easy money, be a bit more realistic with who you target.

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-02-12T19:11:07+00:00

1/6 hookup/number ratio isn't bad. Increase your conversion rate from numbers by having better game during the approach. Stay longer in the interaction. Soft close a date before going for the number. Texting is mostly to set up the logistics for the date.

vertascend · 2026-02-12T20:15:08+00:00

There are a few things I gather from this: Firstly you said your success rate was low; has the only place you been approaching been the college campus or something? What would you expect from girls who’ve just been set free unto the world after high school… they are exploring their options and trust me they have options… heaps of it…do you think you can blow their mind after one encounter to the point that they will be willing to spend their precious time texting you back? Instead you have to be spontaneous and ask them out on the spot … and and if she says yes the exchange details to set up a plan

Second: the fact that you said you barely know what to talk about means that you’re making small talk over the phone, which get bland and boring very fast … which reduces what you can actually talk about in person because that would be redundant … you wanna schedule dates and meetups over the phone and have actual conversations in person which is probably what your friend did and got laid; you never ask a girl to hook up over text

Your solution… still a numbers game; change your playground… secondly no small talk over the phone it’ll kill attraction and they flake

LimpRepeat5758 · 2026-02-13T11:39:59+00:00

advice

if she has socials and is posting about her interests (sports, whatever) then reply to her story asking what it was like / if you like it to / if you dont know much about it. leads to more conversation. DONT BE OVEREAGER and reply to EVERY story. that's too much. show some interest in her life. if shes interested in yours, she'll start asking back.
no instant message back doesn't equal no interest. women have lives, often busy ones with responsibilities. same as any normal guy. do not spam for a response, do not harass.
be patient but know when to move on.

Matter_Still · 2026-02-12T07:57:24+00:00

The solution to your problem is most certainly NOT working on your texting and charisma.

You’ve fallen into a trap that is much too common with people your age group: you ask for a phone number, text, IG, or whatever does an end run on what you truly desire: time with her.

For decades the process was far more direct. You saw a girl, approached her, made small talk, and asked her out. The phone number was tagged on at the end.

Example: (from your own situation):

You: I’ve seen you in Dr. Brooks’ American Lit. class. What do you think of it so far?

Her: It’s o.k. If it wasn’t a required course I don’t think I’d take it.

You: Yeah. Who decides these things?

Her: Not us, for sure.

You: That’s a fact. I’m off for another one, Western Civilization. What would you say about lunch this week? Maybe Thursday? We can plant the seeds of an academic rebellion.

It’s clean, quick, and gives you immediate feedback. There’s no dodging the issue. You’ve pushed your chips to the center of the table.

If she likes what she sees, she’ll agree or make a counterproposal. If she’s not attracted to you, texting pyrotechnics won’t move the needle.

Title	Need serious advice
Author	ConversationNo4177
Upvotes	17
Comments	26
Date	February 12, 2026 7:23 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1r2n20a/need_serious_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-serious-advice.1573311 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573311

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