New Years pressure

Clyde_Frag · 2016-12-30T16:14:12+00:00

So if I wanted to go to a bar to try and pickup girls then whoever I was with would just judge me.

Who cares? The worst thing that's going to happen is you go home and don't get laid.

This isn't really something you can accomplish prior to New Years, but you should just some Meetups in activities you like. You can make friends and/or girls to hookup with.

I've had similar defeatist mentalities in the past, but the reality was that the times I didn't get laid can all be traced back to a lack of action on my part. Calling yourself shy is an excuse and a pretty bad one.

If you open up a girl in a group, you have to be cognizant of the entire group. Don't just talk to the girl you're interested in, talk to the entire group. If the group goes somewhere else and the girl lingers, then she probably has interest because she'll use any excuse to leave if she does not.

Xanarxses · 2016-12-30T17:45:30+00:00

Man this sort of reminds me of the POV video from College Humor.

Who gives a shit, honestly. Why would you put that unnecessary pressure on yourself?

I know at best I'll be screaming out of my window, drunk as fuck when the year passes.

And at worst I'll be asleep.

I don't care. I don't have any plans or people to go out with so it doesn't really matter honestly.

I'd love to bang my way into the new year but that ain't really happening so who cares.

Honestly, 0 fucks given. If you want some sort of new years pressure, make that pressure about yourself, not some girl you want to kiss.

Do whatever you want, no one is going to care. It's new years. Unless you're in some sort of pious high society slice of the world, it doesn't matter and NO one will remember judging you. Even if they do judge you.

You’ll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.

At the end of the day and at the start of the new year. And every other time of the year. People have their own concerns. If you think about someone else judging you for approaching, then you just won't approach.

People have their own insecurities.

We live with this odd mentality of "ME ME ME".

The realization is to understand EVERYONE lives with that mentality.

I think this video is pretty good to put things in perspective

So basically do what you want. If you really want to sit at home and play XCOM 2. Then do that but if there's something else you'd rather be doing. Then just accept that as fact and do it, provided it's within your resources.

Jack__Knife · 2016-12-30T20:12:18+00:00

The only kiss you are going to get at midnight from XCOM2 is a blister on your palm, and I don't mean from the controller. Go to a bar (with a wing is better) where nobody knows you are a giant pussy. Walk in like a boss, be friendly and flirty with EVERYONE. Go in that fucker with the mind set "I don't fucking care if I get some or not! This is MY New Year, and I'm gonna OWN the bitch." Now doesn't that sound better than telling everyone you stayed home to play games, but really used up a box of Kleenex and a bottle of hand lotion?

IANAPUA_Yet · 2016-12-30T20:48:56+00:00

Basically I'm an introvert when I'm sober and an extrovert when I'm buzzed.

You're probably not introverted. You're probably at least mildly extroverted. It just doesn't show because you have shitty social skills and you're too afraid to actually put yourself out there without liquid courage.

Really just thinking of staying home and playing XCOM 2 but I do want a midnight kiss so..

None of this has anything to do with NYE. Your lack of social skills is a problem that has been building for decades; there's zero chance of it being solved in a day.

It's going to take a prolonged effort to turn your life around. Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice.

Snazzy_Serval · 2016-12-30T22:39:29+00:00

Hah man I'm jealous.

I'm an introvert when I'm sober and I'm an introvert when I'm buzzed/drunk.

I still drag my ass to bars and end up disappointed walking home alone. I do this over and over again for reasons I don't know.

Tomorrow night I'm going to drag myself out again mostly out of obligation.

My motto for these things in life is "Expect nothing, then you won't be disappointed."

Fudgeworth · 2016-12-31T01:43:27+00:00

I always had awesome results at high end events on New Year's Eve. Those are events where there are open bars and girls are all in dresses. I think those are good because everyone is getting fucked up and lots of people want to kiss someone at midnight. People spent good money on tickets and want something to show for it. Lots of single people have the resolution of meeting someone or had that the prior year. What better time to meet someone than at the event they think.

In terms of going out solo, I think you need to set realistic expectations. In the winter I go out one night a week. I pretty much expect that I could go a month or two with no real action. I don't go out with the expectation that I'll meet a girl. I hope that I will and think there's a possibility I will.

Due to circumstances I go out solo all the time now. I've gotten more used to it but at the beginning of the night I still feel awkward. I've just found places where I feel comfortable being solo. Those are usually venues with multiple areas so that I can move around. I also don't like places where people are all sitting down and staying to themselves, there needs to be movement and interaction.

nontoxicreddit · 2016-12-30T16:45:42+00:00

Well first you are putting pressure on yourself to get an outcome, which will cause incongruity and anxiety. I get the pressure though 2016 was a shit year.

If you have no one to go out with, I recommend finding the most college type or "hip" bar. Nothing that would ever have a "regular" in it. Do you think you are the ONLY single person on NYE? Bro, there are fucking TONS of girls looking for the midnight kiss too. Just because they are in a group doesn't mean they are unapproachable.

There are a ton of guides on how to approach a group as an outsider. I did this with a girl I talked to on tinder. She said she is going to X town, I said me too so I will meet you there. Got there, hung with my friend, then I saw her, approached the group, introduced myself, was nice, laughed, and made friends. I also tried to wing the guy as a "favor". People, especially when drunk, are really really friendly and will most likely not respond negatively if you approach. The trick is to approach either the biggest guy in the group or just the guys in general and strike up convo. Don't approach the girls directly unless its a group of only girls.

Anyway, like I said there are a lot of guides about this. Hope it helps

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2016-12-30T16:46:59+00:00

Make new friends. Its not hard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RJhMT1Vqq4

If you build up a new social circle in 2017, by 2018 you will be a completely different person.

sefmz · 2016-12-31T17:28:11+00:00

I hate the midnight kiss expectation. On the times when I've been out single it just passes as a super awkward moment where everyone stares at/approaches the hot girls from 11:45pm, then midnight happens and everyone subtly tries not to look at each other and be disappointed. Cringe.

I'll probably be out solo tonight, but I live close enough to the bar area that I'll just come the fuck back home from 11:45 - 12:15. I just hate that shit.

As far as your situation, if you're going out you are already ahead of most. Just. Go. Out. Drinking alone at the bar? Ok, fine, that's still a good start. Just see if anyone makes eyes at you and if so then go up and ask how their 2016 was. Don't forget to talk to dudes if they happen to be next to you. You just want to talk and be friendly with anyone/everyone. You can also aim for uggos and work your confidence up from there. Look for girls in pairs. That's the equivalent of girls "going out alone", that means they are out to meet guys and get approached.

GoRedBad · 2017-01-01T00:27:20+00:00

Haha. I am Sat in a bar right now looking at my phone. I went out alone and have been dancing for the last couple of hours, Including a bar where I was the only one on the floor. but really I'm just catching a breather and having a beer before I hit it again.

spez: the funny thing is, I only came out because it felt like the thing to do, and I know when I get home I can play watch dogs 2 which I just bought yesterday.

GoRedBad · 2017-01-01T19:59:12+00:00

Well after posting in this thread, I went on to the dancefloor - it was 12:40 am or so in another bar where I was the only person dancing. I was alone for ten minutes before the floor began to fill again, and I had women approaching me to dance with me. One woman in particular started grinding on me in front of her husband/boyfriend, and I did the thing where you bend her over like you're fucking her from behind. A bit later another chick was doing the same and I kissed her - she was a bad kisser. Another girl was trying to push her single friend on me, but she was too shy. Anyway, I had a good night, didn't take anyone home, and didn't ask for any numbers, but I feel like I owned some dancefloors. Now that I seem to be well over that anxiety of dancing in front of others, I need to get more proactive about getting the girls who come into my orbit.

jsbach123 · 2016-12-31T05:07:45+00:00

When the clock strikes midnight, I would have already been in bed. I'm comfortable with my self-worth and confident 2017 will be a great year. So I don't need to kiss someone or even be out to prove anything to anyone or to prove anything to myself.

j3ly · 2016-12-31T11:43:57+00:00

You're trying to jump to B before fixing A.

Male friends are way more important than girls. Not having any male friends or a group tells us you don't have many social hobbies, or your social skills need some work. Hit meetup.com, join a sports team/board gaming group/fighting game community/paintball team and use tinder or dating websites to set up dates in the meantime.

If you have options from friend groups or online dating, NYE is a great night to write off women and enjoy yourself.

To answer your question - Keep moving around, even if it means visiting 3 clubs in 1 night. Pretend you're drunk even if you're not, and don't let them know you're alone - tell them your friends are in the girls toilet throwing up. Don't let people see you sat down, looking at your phone. Once is bad enough - twice and they'll decide you're no fun.

Don't be a salmon; use your introversion to your advantage and get good with online dating and invest your energy into turning women into lovers by the second date. You can learn everything about her family and her life dreams on the first date and invite her over to yours for dinner and a movie on the second date. Focus your efforts on learning how to build a bond as quickly as possible while giving up as little information about yourself as possible, and being sexually threatening. If on the first date you can run your fingers up her forearm or hold her hand at the table, you're in great shape.

^ that's an introverts guide to seducing women at it's finest.

juloxx · 2016-12-31T00:15:35+00:00

Go to a good party

Get better friends

Title	New Years pressure
Author	Virtuous_Paragon
Upvotes	31
Comments	25
Date	December 30, 2016 3:31 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5l3yse/new_years_pressure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/new-years-pressure.1417839 https://theredarchive.com/post/1417839

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