not having any success...

2012-01-14T15:44:46+00:00

You did 50 approaches. Good job! It's quite a feat for a beginner.

The key to success with women is long term consistency. You don't become a player overnight. If that were the case, then every guy would be a sex god.

Hate to break it to you, 9 days of practice is NOTHING. Don't get me wrong, 50 approaches is absolutely an INCREDIBLE goal, but 9 days is child's play.

Getting good at any skill requires long term work. Nobody has ever become an artisan after 9 days of practice. But at least you can already see that you have made some success.

1) You got off your fucking ass and approached women. 2) You noticed that your AA went away after a bit of "warm up".

You didn't leave with nothing, because most people never make it past that first (and hardest) step of simply getting off your fucking ass and going outside. And the more going out becomes routine, the more it becomes part of your lifestyle and part of who you are.

Again, 9 days is child's play. Complain when it's been a year without any success.

Don't worry too much about numbers, it's really not a big deal. Even if the girl is attracted to you, chances are, she'll give you a fake or still refuse to give you a number. Your success isn't determined by the amount of numbers you're getting.

Also, a lot of girls in college are young, and many are shy. They're probably not used to being hit on openly in the day, as opposed to an attractive 25 year-old women living in NYC who probably gets hit on by 10 guys a day. There are a million reasons for a rejection, there's no point in getting hung up over it.

Don't forget, though, that you just enlarged your testicles for at least going outside. You made that first step.

Edit: Don't worry too much about how you look. Yes, shower and groom yourself, but you don't need to be decked out to meet women.

LonelyNixon · 2012-01-14T02:55:07+00:00

How do you talk to these women? In other words what exactly are you saying?

puaCurveBall · 2012-01-14T08:04:43+00:00

Give up or just keep creeping girls out?

Dude - Inner Game.

If you have "I'm creeping these girls out" in the back of your head, it is going to come through and wreck your game.

It sounds like you are delivering lines instead of having a conversation, this is a common problem for actors and comedians to have when they over-rehearse, that they spit the lines out without letting the audience actually understand and respond.

How is your eyecontact and pacing? Are you letting them respond before moving onto the next thing? Are you sharing a moment of eyecontact as you deliver the line so you can share the response together?

Obviously, other guys with your appearance / clothing / opener can #close, so we can ignore that stuff. I'd focus on your inner attitudes towards what you are doing and how that might come through in an interaction.

2012-01-14T16:07:45+00:00

You just have to keep on going, eventually you'll get a number. It's weird, but it's a mental hurdle, once you get a number, you start getting lots of numbers. It's as if your mind makes a switch and it just happens, you start knowing when you'll get the number.

It's not YOU, it's just you don't have the reference point. I feel like you're a bit too gamey with the BF remarks. Just turn off your "game" for now, and try to connect with the person you're approaching, and build a meaningful conversation. After you get some reference points, and you're calibrated, you'll be able to just feel when they're comfortable, and when they'll give you their number.

30vanquish · 2012-01-14T07:56:01+00:00

I would usually ask for directions then say. "Ya know what? I'm not really looking for _____. I just thought you were cute and wanted to come say hi"

Do this in the cities.

Go indirect in college. I've approached around 50 so far and I've gotten a few numbers and made a few amazing friends (women) via cold approach (better for my introverted brain).

Why indirect? Girls expect to be friends with people in college. So what you do is have a natural conversation and make her feel comfortable enough for 2 min or so (so she could finally see you as potential mate rather than creeper) talking about what you opened her with. Then after that you have to show WHY you want her #. What makes her the unique snowflake besides the fact that she's hot?

Ex: "Hey what textbook is that?"

Her: Some Sociology class.

"Oh, sociology. So you're one of those girls."

Her: "What does that mean?"

"Haha, means you're somewhat smart. Or just modest."

Her: "Laughs*

"Yeah, well sociology is interesting. The world needs people to study that because we need to know human patterns. What makes humans tick. What makes them happy. I'm pretty sure there's a study that determines why humans are so crazy and emotional." --- notice how much you speak at first so she'll invest in you.

Her: "Yeah"

(Hopefully 90 seconds has passed. Then bring into attraction.)

"Haha, but seriously you're modest. What do you want to do with your sociology?"

Her: "Oh I want to figure people out." Then talk more about anything but make her talk more here.

At the end when you ask for her #, "You seem cool cause you want to figure people out give me your # and we'll hang again"

Indirect is king in college.

You're showing interest too soon with direct.

That works for cities because there's no commonality so you need to force the issue.

tl:dr? You're missing out on good info.

ge99 · 2012-01-14T05:02:40+00:00

You must be doing something wrong.

When I was an ugly badly dressed fat fuck I would get a number every 5 approaches at a bar. Loads of flakes and fake numbers but I worked out those problems.

Do you sound canned and like you have a routine? Do you make them laugh?

ShowcasePUA · 2012-01-14T14:20:08+00:00

Don't take this personally, but I think you might be a serial opener. You can open females all day and night and only see limited learning potential. You want to focus on not the quantity of sets you're opening, but the quality of the interaction. Next time, plow right through the resistance as hard as you can. Don't be so quick to throw out compliments. If you get enough IOD's, then feel free to pop smoke.

jsba · 2012-01-16T17:10:09+00:00

Ok I ordered a new cam and mic.I'm going to record some more approaches and you guys can see whats happening

gyqo0348h · 2012-01-14T18:10:11+00:00

30vanquish has it right, you really can't apply many of the standard PUA principles to college game. I highly recommend checking out Conquer Your Campus. College is all about social circle game.

rmbarnes · 2012-01-14T18:16:23+00:00

Read Paul Janka's ebook, and just go direct from the start, don't start out indirect.

I'm guessing there's something off with your non verbals if you aren't getting one number in 50. Try posting videos of your approaches if you can.

Lanza21 · 2012-01-15T20:16:20+00:00

You're doing something wrong. Record audio of yourself and post it on a new thread in seddit. I've seen fat ugly cavemen go better then 0/50.

vhee · 2012-01-14T03:14:39+00:00

The true question you should be asking yourself is "what is my definition of success?"

Once you can answer this, we can really start.

thethirdcoast · 2012-01-14T05:34:06+00:00

Dump the Chuck Taylors and get some Oxfords, possibly even wingtips depending on the quality of your jeans and shirt.

I say this because most women tend to be intensely interested in shoes, and in college you're better off with shoes that say, "I'm going somewhere in life," rather than, "I have yet to graduate high school."

Title	not having any success...
Author	jsba
Upvotes	12
Comments	37
Date	January 14, 2012 2:45 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ogbqz/not_having_any_success/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/not-having-any-success.1327005 https://theredarchive.com/post/1327005

Comments