I've been seeing a lot of posts on oneitis here, lately. Not about how to deal with it, but more "I have oneitis, what do?"

Here's what you do:

  1. Stop trying to get with her. Delete the girl's number. Stop making plans to hang out with her. Disable her from your Facebook feed and unfollow her tweets. Be polite, and don't be a dick, but stop all the actions that make your life revolve around her.
  2. Meet other women. Not one or two. Hundreds. Meet people through activities. You don't even have to necessarily ask them out. But you need to be exposed to lots of people and lots of ideas and lots of interactions, good and bad, to have a base of experience and perspective so that this oneitis bullshit doesn't happen anymore.
  3. Ask out girls that you like. You have no idea where it will lead. Stop thinking about it and just ask them out. Plan no more than 2 steps ahead. This isn't chess, it's about having fun and being spontaneous. Playing the game IS winning. Overthinking and strategizing is equivalent to masturbating.
  4. Get your life right. I'm sorry, but I've never met a fully balanced individual who was handling his shit and having fun with life, who ever had oneitis. Those kinds of guys rarely even need dating advice aside from a reminder to keep their drawer stocked with condoms. Be one of those guys - it's a lot easier when you stop spending 8 hours a day thinking about women who aren't sleeping with you.

Finally, if you want to argue about how your situation is unique and different and how she really is 9000x better than the next girl, then fine. Have oneitis for the rest of your life.

None of us here should have to debate with you about why you should move on from a girl that you're going nowhere with. You're the one with oneitis, so you either start at the bottom like everyone else, or you just prolong the process.

I actually don't even encourage venting about it, because venting is one of those things that actually makes oneitis hang on even harder, because you start justifying and rationalizing that shit. Stop it.

UPDATE: I wrote about this shit on my blog a while back and forgot about it.

-V