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[–]divB_is_zero 14 points15 points16 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I went out with a couple girls online. In my experience they are either epically desperate or socially inept. Real life is much better.
[–]toodaysthrownaway 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ditto
[–]TIWU 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ditto2
[–]cha_maco 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For me, online dating usually leads to very short relationships--even with surprisingly high match rates (OkCupid), and require way more work than Real Life.
In Real Life; I can find out if there's chemistry/attraction right away--so the dates that do happen, are more fun and engaging.
The (stupid) overly romantic guy in me wants to say that I'll find my wife via online dating, but the realist knows it'll be in Real Life. :)
[–]ace_bandit 6 points7 points8 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I've had a bunch of same night lays and 2 relationships with people I've met online. There will be lots of desperate women and fatties, but there's a lot of girls who just don't like getting hit on by drunk guys at the bar and still want to meet someone.
[–]CrankRED 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
can you give some pointers? would you mind giving me feedback on my profile?
[–]ace_bandit 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah sure. PM me
[–]ace_bandit 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Here's a post a wrote about this
[–]HelloHiHello14 points 13 years ago* [recovered] (19 children) | Copy Link
Online dating isn't ridiculous at all... it's a great tool to have in the arsenal.
That being said, I rarely use it anymore (but I have in the past with good results). I prefer day game, because that's where all the top quality women are, and they're not expecting to be approached, so you have the advantage from the get-go.
With online dating, it's a sheer number's game (gotta send batches of messages, at least 30+ a day), plus it's shitty to think of how much work you have to put in for average quality girls.
There are lots of gorgeous girls around my area during the daytime, so online dating just isn't worth the effort. But it's still a fantastic place to meet girls (especially a lot of them), with a little less work overall.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Damn what's your technique for online? I've got a pretty good formula for first messages that have been getting me a fair amount of replies, but I lose them after that somehow.
[–]MorphineSmile 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I have good success on OKCupid with "Hey _____ ! (try to deduce what her name is based on her screenname, otherwise, just use the screenname itself) and then just a couple sentences noting similar interests. I NEVER complement them on their looks, ever. Then close with something like "If you're free this week, I'd love to get a drink and hear about ____________ . " (some story in her profile). Basically, I only write people that have something similar in the profile as I do (similar band, similar hobby, etc.) because the ones who have a half-assed profile are either not looking, or they only look, or you have to be Brad Pitt to get them to respond.
But, long story short, I've found just about all my online dates to be average-to-boring women. Yes, gotten laid a couple times, but for the most part, just work on your in-person game, and approach. Doesn't have to be an official night out; you can meet women literally anywhere. Just say hi and make them laugh.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hmm my profile is pretty half-assed and mostly a joke... do you think that's bad? Should I be more "serious" about it?
[–]MorphineSmile 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not necessarily, I meant that when a girl does it, it makes it hard for my method to work (I'm not really good at cold approaching without something to go on).
In my profile, I have all pictures of me having fun in various sized groups, but always smiling. I'm serious about my interests, but I kept it short but fun. You're a stranger online, so the best thing you can do is exude confidence and optimism. Make yourself sound fun, and make yourself sound like a guy who has everything under control -- women want to participate in fun things, with someone who will keep them safe. Know what I mean?
At least that's what works for me, but that's who I am as a person in real life. I've been working on pickup/seduction stuff for a while, and it's helped me learn how to outwardly project optimism and confidence, even if those two things aren't completely natural to me.
[–]NotAnotherPUA 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I just stopped dating online the other day, what I did that worked really well was this:
As soon as I get a response from them (or if they message me first), I immediately follow up with this message:
(something funny, or just bring up something about the convo), followed by: Hey, I'm not free this weekend, but I could grab some drinks next week.
That has worked EVERYTIME. Before I would do that, my success at actually going from a short convo to a date was terrible.
They reply...
Then I say, great, if Wednesday at 8:00 works I'll figure out a place and let you know. They say "sounds great!"
I say, Let's go to XYZ! They say: "great!"
I don't text them again until I get there.
[–]HelloHiHello 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
BULK. That's it.
Get professional pictures, tweak your profile a bit (basically make it show that you could care less about online dating).
Send 30 messages/day. Use a spreadsheet if you have to. After 4-5 messages, pitch a date and ask for a phone number.
Online dating is REALLY hit or miss which is why I think it's kinda shitty. But that being said, it's an almost guaranteed way to get laid if you put in the numbers.
[–][deleted] 13 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]HelloHiHello1 points 13 years ago* [recovered] (11 children) | Copy Link
Live in a city with lots of people... San Diego, Phoenix, Austin, NYC, etc.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Where specifically. Say I live in Miami. Where should I go?
[–]HelloHiHello14 points 13 years ago* [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
Damn, what a great location!
My philosophy is simple... I've worked very hard in my life to be a high value man. I am outcome independent. I go to the gym three times a week no matter what. I'm self-employed. Point is – my life has value... and this is how you have to view YOUR life for this strategy to work.
With that line of thought, I NEVER go anywhere for the sake of "sarging". "Picking up women" has ceased to exist for me. Instead, I simply run my errands in day-to-day life.
I have fantastic posture and stand up as tall as I possibly can (I'm not tall, by the way). I wear good fitting clothes everywhere I go. If I see a good looking girl, I make eye contact. If she keeps eye contact then drops her gaze down, I approach. If she only looks for a second than looks to the side, I approach. If I smile at her and she smiles back, I approach. Basically, if I'm attracted to a girl, I'll approach no matter what. My opener is "hi". (sometimes, "excuse me, hi")
Then, I make her laugh, ask her if she lives in the area, if she does, tell her we should "hang out some time", then get her number. Then I wait a day and text, plan a meetup, meetup, if I like her, kiss –> escalate to sex.
No clue if my method is ideal... don't really care, since I've used it to bring gorgeous, intelligent women into my life consistently. Just think about it this way... if you had the ability to get the phone number of every hot girl you saw, would you be asking "where should I go?"
Hot girls are EVERYWHERE.
[–]Sergnb 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I like how your approach to "day game" is basically the normal accepted way to meet people, yet if you told someone this was an strategy they would think you are a manipulating piece of shit.
I also enjoy day game and I find it's more enjoyable than night game because you don't have to deal with obnoxious things like competing with the guy next to her trying to grind his crotch on her or having loud music interferring the conversation.
[–]HelloHiHello 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Took me three years solid of doing game, and YEARS of horrible failure before that to figure out "normal" is the best strategy. ;)
But that's what it's all about... getting that depth. I may be acting "normal", but I know exactly what I'm doing, and why I'm doing it.
[–]Sergnb 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, don't underestimate "normal" because it's called like that. Getting to that level is REALLY tough unless you have absolute 0 confidence and self-steem problems (which is a pretty rare thing in today's society)
[–]HelloHiHello 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I actually think you can only reach this level if you DO have confidence and self-esteem problems. Because it's through working HARD to overcome these problems that we gain the confidence and outcome independence that suits the lifestyle.
[–]Sergnb 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well put, I agree.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Very helpful advice, thanks!
[–]bananaboy92 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sound advice. thanks man.
[–]with_gusto 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This may just be my social ineptitude talking, but HOW do you make her laugh?
For me, the middle part always seem to missing, making her laugh in this case. Otherwise you just have the underpants gnomes' recipe for success:
I dont doubt anything you wrote and it is quite inspiring, but for someone like me without the social skills you have, i need specifics and examples as well as inspiration.
[–]HelloHiHello 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well a few things to note starting out... getting girls laughing during the approach has NOTHING to do with "being funny". Although I generally say absurd/cocky+funny things, I'm not just cracking jokes or being witty. In fact, that's an almost certain way to ensure a girl isn't attracted to you!
In male/female interaction, there always exists a degree of tension. ALWAYS. Even if I was talking to the ugliest fat chick on the planet, there would still be that inherent tension... it's purely biological.
What does laughing do? It releases tension. Therefore, her laughing isn't so much a response to a joke or something I've said... it's a reaction to her awareness that sexual tension building up.
For example, this happens all the time – I'll approach a girl, get her attention, and just say "Hi" in an obvious manner. Then I'll say nothing. And we'll hold eye contact for a bit. ... and then she'll giggle.
Damn! I must be hilarious if I can make a woman giggle at just saying "hi"! But that's not really what it's about... it's about her realizing that there's sexual tension, and if she doesn't disperse it somehow, she'd fuck me in the middle of the street in broad daylight. Once again, this tension build up happens regardless of who you are or what you look like. If you want a WAY better explanation of this phenomenon, check out 60 Year's of Challenge's material (yes, that's his "name").
So as a guy, I want to make sure the tension builds up as much as possible. Now that I think of it, I pretty much NEVER laugh during an approach. Contrast this with a lot of guys (and myself in the beginning) who giggle and laugh just to ease tension. Tension is your friend, but you MUST get comfortable with it.
So hopefully, you can see that being "funny" isn't really about social skills or anything like that... in fact, the "funny" that IS about being social will HURT you in seduction!
Take it from me... being funny has been a "gift" for me, meaning, since I can remember, I've been funny. I can make anyone laugh. Man, woman, child, adult...
But before you think I had things easy as a result, know that this ability is quite possibly the SOLE REASON I didn't get laid until I was 20 years old, even though I wanted to get laid SO BADLY ever since elementary school. It's because me being funny ruined the sexual tension constantly, and I had no clue. While girls were rolling in laughter because of what I said, they would never even THINK about fucking me.
It was only after I realized that there's a big difference between "humor" and sexual tension being released that I got laid. When girls say "I want a guy who makes me laugh", they're not talking about the jokester across the street. They're talking about the guy who turns them on so much and so quickly, that they HAVE to laugh or they'll jump on his dick immediately!
You don't have to be funny to be good at seduction. Simply approach in a good frame of mind (the MOST IMPORTANT PART, hands down!), and don't give in to the tension... let her do that.
Now, it's still good to be funny... it's great for being social and making friends. But people seem to think it's the solution for everything, which I'm glad I can definitively say, no, it is NOT.
[–]agentargoh 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've had some good success with OKC. Just get a good quality profile picture of your face, fill out the details and be interesting. It's definitely a numbers game, but you can do it while watching TV or w/e. I started out with pretty poor luck, but got better at it after a week or two.
I've definitely met up with some whose photos made them look much more attractive than they actually are and a few that were just fucking weird. Because of this, I usually make a date that has a definite ending and if I am into them meet up later that night for drinks. For example, we do lunch at noon, but I have to "help my friend move a couch at 1:30". If things go well I tell them I'll call them later and we can finish up with some drinks. That system has been working pretty well for me.
And of course, don't let it affect your sarging.
[–]RedShirtedAss 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Its not ridiculous but picture a hot girl's inbox. Its going to be flooded with thousands of messages, so its going to be very hard for you to stand out. That's why daygame is so much easier because the guys that online date don't approach these girls in person, so when you do an approach in person you stand out a lot more. Bravo does a decent clinic on online dating, you should check out the video on youtube.
[–]SupALupRT 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Online dating isnt great. You gain more points then you realize for just manning up and approaching in person. Online dating usually you'll be settling for someone 2 points or more lower than you can pull in person. So much of what we say is in our body language and how we say it, and with what energy. Of the girls I've hooked up with via online only 2 were hot, rest were like 6s :| Sometimes the fact that I'm 33 with a kid weakens me haha.
[–]slan45 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
It's a great supplement to going out and doing the real thing. Dating is a numbers game. With online dating, particularly okcupid, you already know a lot about the girl before meeting in person, making it very easy to close if you're interested.
I've had two long term relationships with girls I've met online and lots of 1st date f-closes as well. (All HB8-10)
These were not girls who were desperate or socially inept.
[–]frankdux9 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I love the seddit rating system. Last time i checked online dating sites the hottest woman in the whole damn city was like an hb8. I used to think it was -2 points on every hb rating on this site, now ive decided its -3
[–]slan45 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ratings are subjective and every city is different.
[–]backtothegame -2 points-1 points0 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
It's advanced A+++ level pua. If you have mastered in person pickup and gotten pickier and pickier it's worth looking at, there is a definite system to it.
Most guys shotgun it and then are disappointed with the results. Basically the AFC's of the online world and thank god for that cause it makes the competition weak.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
So how do you recommend doing it?
[+]backtothegame -6 points-5 points-4 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So you're saying that you're an advanced PUA but have been in this forum for 4 months and not contributed a single field report?
[–][deleted] 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]backtothegame 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
See my comment history for a little more information. It's not one tiny thing, it's everything just like PUA is to an AFC. If you want to go online because you're having a hard time in person you're going to have a bad time. I'm willing to spend time to help a few people with it but it's wasted on someone who isn't already at a high level closing with girls in person. It also depends on a lot of original painstakingly developed material.
I don't understand this... even if you were incredible at online dating, the selection is still average. Yes there are some decent looking girls, but it's mainly a place where you go to hook up relatively easily.
From that perspective, the only method I see value in is doing mass messaging.
Interested in your thoughts.
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[–]divB_is_zero 14 points15 points16 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]toodaysthrownaway 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TIWU 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cha_maco 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ace_bandit 6 points7 points8 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]CrankRED 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ace_bandit 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ace_bandit 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HelloHiHello14 points [recovered] (19 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]MorphineSmile 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MorphineSmile 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NotAnotherPUA 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HelloHiHello 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]HelloHiHello1 points [recovered] (11 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]HelloHiHello14 points [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sergnb 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]HelloHiHello 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sergnb 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]HelloHiHello 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Sergnb 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bananaboy92 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]with_gusto 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HelloHiHello 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]agentargoh 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedShirtedAss 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SupALupRT 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]slan45 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]frankdux9 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]slan45 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]backtothegame -2 points-1 points0 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+]backtothegame -6 points-5 points-4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]backtothegame 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]HelloHiHello 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link