people call us Asshole, how do feel about this?

MARSpu · 2011-09-26T06:20:07+00:00

People are always going to feel negatively inclined to learn seduction. It doesn't matter; let them be. Everyone plays the game but few are as willing to commit to learning it.

frogma · 2011-09-26T06:26:24+00:00

English isn't your first language. When you compliment girls at school, are they speaking your language? If they are, then there's something going on with the way you approach- and it's also, IMO, bad to compliment them on their looks. I don't do that.

With reddit, though, r/seduction is generally hated on. Most people on reddit don't know much (if anything) about seddit. They hear soundbites from other people, or they see random posts on here that don't conform to their worldview (and they often focus on posts from guys here who have bad outlooks). It's generally recommended that you don't try to refer anyone to seddit- if they discover seddit, good for them. If not, the best way to approach it is to just PM the specific person and give them 1-on-1 advice. Then you won't get chastised for it. Don't try going into a random thread and mentioning seddit though, unless you're really good at arguing/persuading and giving value.

Either way, seddit itself won't make you an "asshole" or "creep." Your approach and your vibe is what makes you an asshole or a creep. Also realize, most people would never even think to analyze social dynamics. I have no fuckin clue why, but most people think it's weird to analyze shit like that. Doesn't make any sense, but that's how it is. So don't mention seddit in random threads- instead, either keep your advice vague, or specifically PM the person you want to talk to.

cody_au · 2011-09-26T07:49:04+00:00

becoz he just got out of a relationship

Those guys will rarely be inclined to learn something "they can already do" (by luck).

then one of the guy tell me that seddit are assholes

Sooo true.

my friends start to call me assholes, and flirt, creepy...

It's called social homeostasis; I'd say look it up but the first few hits are worthless. In summary, people don't like the people around them to change, and will try their best to make you revert to your old self.

So the only way to change is to ditch everyone you know. And once you're changed, there's still no going back - they'll never truly accept a better you.

2011-09-26T14:54:14+00:00

For some strange reason, a guy who talks to girls and appears to be faking it is perceived as a creep and an asshole, but a guy who talks to girls and appears confident and geniune is seen as cool. If you're coming across as creepy, there's something wrong with your approach and you need to adjust it. Compliments are not an effective way to get a woman's attention. Try just starting conversations with them on subjects that interest both of you. Don't try too hard to keep them engaged. If the girl thinks you're trying to force her to have a conversation with you, she'll be uncomfortable. Always make it easy for the girl to walk away from the conversation at any time. You have to make them feel confortable talking to you. Once you get the hang of talking to people without coming across as creepy, people will stop accusing you of being an asshole.

YeOldeThrowaway · 2011-09-26T15:46:37+00:00

It's certainly possible to learn all kinds of things from the seduction community and still be the furthest thing in the world from an asshole. The choice is up to you what kind of person to be.

The only debate would be whether being an "asshole" can make you more effective. Personally I think there are aspects of being an asshole that can be effective, but you can incorporate 90% of them and still be a class act.

Hellstruelight · 2011-09-26T18:33:35+00:00

I feel like I know who I am and I really like myself. If somebody else things I'm too big of a flirt, that I'm a player or call me an asshole then my response is to just remove them from my social circle. There are LOTS of other good looking, interesting, active, well rounded people for me to have fun with.

I gauge myself though and focus on positive social interaction, so I'm hardly ever called names by anyone.

azteck008 · 2011-09-26T19:10:53+00:00

People generally fear what they don't understand! In a nutshell you should do what makes you happy. Why be lonely and miserable just because seduction is wrong? Why not be happy instead, with the company of great women!

My dad always said, do whatever makes you happy. And don't worry about what people think or I think or what anyone thinks. What matters is what you think. Just be happy. That's all I want for you! (Man tears were shed after that)

WolfInTheField · 2011-09-27T00:50:45+00:00

People reject you doing it because they don't understand it, because it's different. Fuck that. Serious, you gotta ignore that. Treat it like a child whining for candy- with a gentle pat on the head and a 'one day you'll understand'. It's pretty arrogant, but it works. You can NOT care about that shit.

idomiralin · 2011-09-26T10:09:55+00:00

You can compliment them as much as you want, but this way you won't trigger attraction, but it can help you get rid of approach anxiety, if you suffer from it. For more information about dating and self-improvement, visit http://seduceandattract.blogspot.com/.

Title	people call us Asshole, how do feel about this?
Author	whatwhywhy
Upvotes	0
Comments	16
Date	September 26, 2011 5:29 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/krk1h/people_call_us_asshole_how_do_feel_about_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/people-call-us-asshole-how-do-feel-about-this.1323020 https://theredarchive.com/post/1323020

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