Question for intermediate and advanced guys!

norwegiandoggo · 2024-02-15T12:01:59+00:00

Writing down three things you did well, and one thing you could have done better - after every approach / instant date / date etc.
Using dating apps.
Going to social events to meet women instead of doing of pure cold approaches on the street.
Working on being non-needy. Right now you're trying extremely hard. How can you approach women while giving the impression that you're not trying at all?

Jolly-Jaguar8664 · 2024-02-15T13:31:07+00:00

for day game: Get a wing, that is more experienced than you, who will mentor you. Theories, ideas etc on the internet can never be as good as direct feedback from someone who actually sees you and what you are doing. He will show you sticking points, you never would have found on your own
don't live alone, live among a mixed group of young people. Then you will not only learn from your own but also the experiences of the others. It also will charge your vibe
cultivate deep male friendships

saulisdating · 2024-02-15T17:29:54+00:00

The following shift in mindset really made a massive difference for me:

I started to approach women not to see if they’d like me. But to find out who they are as people and see if I’d like them, if they were good and interesting people. And if I’d have fun hanging out with them.

Took me over a year to realize this and then a few weeks to internalize the mindset. But boy did it change the whole dynamic of my interactions and my results were much better. It kind of removed most off the pressure I felt.

That’s Inner Game stuff.

When it came to outer game, nothing changed me faster and brought my game to the next level than going to a busy city where no one knew me and literally approaching about 100 women every day, for 2-3 days a week, for a few months during summer. After that a new man was born ;)

No_Plan8250 · 2024-02-15T21:16:18+00:00

I'd have gone travelling earlier haha. I left my country at 25 for Europe, and that was when my success started because I could be exactly who I wanted to be.
We have a common cognitive bias called the "spotlight bias" - we think people are noticing us more than they are. We are way more invisible and forgetful than we think.
I never vibed with day game - locals are busy - but you're a nomad, meet other travellers, they're just as isolated as you are and want to meet people and make memories.
Calibrate after the fact, and do this every single time. What went well, what didn't, what would I have tried given another chance.
Nervousness and excitement look exactly the same in terms of blood flow in our bodies, the only difference is the meaning we attach to it. Change both feeling's labels to 'anticipation' - something is always about to happen.
We're going to die one day. The moment we make peace with that is the moment life truly begins.
Get intimately curious about people. Literally everyone has an incredible story or two buried inside them, it's upto you to be a social archaeologist and find it.
You're in Europe - the greatest lovers of history did the same thing. They went on a grand tour. That is so fucking cool.
From Hitch: "no girl wakes up and says boy, I really hope I don't get swept off my feet today"
Game is called game because it's supposed to be fun.
Everyone loves a secret. Bring them into a secret.

UnkemptGoose339 · 2024-02-15T23:18:45+00:00

Going out solo to busy nightclubs and bars and approaching ALOT. Remembering where I went well and remembering where she suddenly lost interest. Googling that and reading up where I went wrong and how to fix it. There's a series of online posts by a dude named YaReally that taught me A lot as well. I can link it to you if you need it, DM me.

It can be hard when you're first starting out because you just get rejected constantly. But don't let it dissuade you, eventually you will get a girl's number, kiss, etc. Celebrate those victories and milestones, it shows progress.

Keep it consistent, just like going to the gym, don't take a break for too long.

Going out solo or with a solid wingman is great because you've got nothing to do but focus on what you're there for, to get better. Solo, no one you know is judging you, just strangers who could turn into friends or girls you will know. No worries if you get rejected.

Learning to read people's, especially women's body language is required to be good, most often you'll find their body language will be communicating the most, even if they aren't saying anything to you verbally. Which, most often, they won't be.

Understanding when a girl opens up an escalation window for you, where it's good for you to go for the kiss or hug her, or take whatever action to escalate things physically. An escalation window can be her maintaining eye contact with you and leaning into you and nothing more, or it can be an outright verbal, let's go home together, although the latter is much more rare than the former. These might not be apparent to you when starting out, but as you gain experience you'll see them and act them right away.

Well, lmk if you'd like to know more. Most things that women communicate are subtle and you need to read between the lines(body language and certain words). For example, if a girl says to you "we're not having sex tonight." She is certainly thinking about having sex with you and probably will if you don't screw anything up and escalate accordingly when you get an escalation window.

potatoeswithfries · 2024-02-15T14:37:34+00:00

Sounds like you're well on your way to success and you already avoided the worst pitfalls (like reading theory and never applying it).

I also do daygame only. Online dating is not as useful as it once was - it won't hurt to use it, but some people in the comments will oversell it, ignore them.

Jironasaurus · 2024-02-15T18:04:28+00:00

When I first started out, I was completely clueless about what to do. The literature was there. The structure was there. But I tried it and got very mixed results. This lasted for about 1.5 years.

My progress truly accelerated only when I engaged my mentor. And that's the advice I'd give everyone: get a mentor. 4 great things about having a mentor:

1, they help you spot your blindspots and correct your mistakes very quickly,
2, a much more actionable plan for you to execute,
3, great people to model yourself after,
4, the support from the mentor's community.

These 4 points helped supercharge my results. In addition to having good influences around me, I also found emotional support and wingmen from the alumni, which allowed me to keep learning from everyone I know. The stories we exchanged gave me information overload, and it was an overall positive vibe.

Everyone was focused on learning too. The ones who made excuses like how they are ugly and therefore it wouldn't work for them... those people dropped out of the picture very quickly. The ones who stayed were purely about getting results and innovated on whatever they learnt, which helped the rest of the group.

I remember once, I managed to get a 3some going using only online dating, and 2 of my friends were so motivated and competitive, that they went all out to do better. They ended up with a 4some and 5some lol.

Aside from that, you also wanna be very open to experimenting and failing. This is important because you don't wanna limit yourself in any way. The only way to learn what works is to try and try again. Keep doing, be willing to fail A LOT, and be ballsy enough to test out theories.

Don't let your ego get in the way. If you fail, just assume you made a mistake and aim to find out what that mistake is. Don't blame women for anything, assume responsibility for all your failures.

And lastly, work on your mindsets.

The people whom I know, who truly took things to the next level... believed very much in themselves. There is no "she's not attracted to me because XYZ reasons" or "these theories don't work for me because I am different".

Instead, it's always "why wouldn't she be attracted to me? I've got XYZ reasons to back me up why I am attractive".

In fact, you can even say that the ones who get an insane amount of success are delusional. They may seem like they lie to themselves about how great they are. But that mentality of self-belief is so strong, it just draws people into their influence. Women are just attracted, men want to be like them so badly, and it's really amazing to watch when that happens.

Hope that helps.

GG_Sebastian · 2024-02-15T20:32:44+00:00

What made me progress was focusing on being growth oriented not results oriented. I was never focused on “did I get a phone number today? Did I get a kiss? Did I get laid?”. I was focused on “did I improve today? Did my approach get better? Did my escalation get better? Did my (insert skill) get better?”

Results eventually and naturally became a byproduct of my growth

TRTGymBro · 2024-02-16T03:33:37+00:00

The thing that helped me progress much faster is the exact opposite of what you are doing right now.

I mean it's all great that you want to fix this part of your life, but you are going about it from a place of "lack". You are telling yourself you lack skills, lack the ability to attract women, lack social skills, so you go out trying to meet women but carry this needy, lacking vibe and this will kill your attraction 100% of the time every time.

Don't get me wrong. You will have the illusion of progress because you will be doing things you have never done before: talking to strange girls, hitting on them, getting phone numbers, even going on the occasional date. But it won't go anywhere at least not without a ton of work (which is entirely unnecessary), while others guys will be getting laid and getting girlfriends with 1/10 of the effort. It's all because your intention says "I have problems getting women so I have to work like a madman to make up for my lack". But the problem is that this signals the woman that you are inherently a low status guy anyway. It's a catch 22.

Sorry to break it to you, but the answer to getting women consistently isn't to be more needy and desperate and to try harder to get them. It's the opposite. Become non-needy, don't try hard at all, pull back and be less available not more available. The only way to kill your neediness is to learn to be happy without women. Fill your schedule with activities completely for one to two weeks. Only stuff that you do by yourself or socially but none of it for the purpose of meeting women. Make predictions on whether you will enjoy certain activities alone or not. Then when you do the activity, write down if your prediction was correct. Pick activities that sound like they should be fun. Pick activities you'd do with a girlfriend and go do them alone. So the rules are: pick stuff that should be enjoyable and not depressing and pick stuff that has nothing to do with trying to meet women.

You need this empirical evidence to prove to yourself that women and sex are not the answer to happiness or the answer to your problems. Because it's that belief that keeps your attached and needy and feeling like you lack something essential.

Once you have gone through a week or two of this, you should have enough evidence to show you you are capable of happiness and living life to the fullest without women. It does require that you throw yourself at life fully and not do anything half assedly or with a negative mindset. At the end of this experiment, you will devise a new mantra that you will repeat daily after you wake up and before you go to bed: "I'm already happy, I'm already fulfilled, I have everything that I need right here, right now. I truly want nothing from women. Getting them means nothing to me and getting turned down or rejected also means nothing to men, because I never wanted or needed anything from them in the first place."

ROBYoutube · 2024-02-15T12:08:42+00:00

The fastest boost I ever got, ironically, was to be asexual around women. Long story but I basically created 'going my own way' in the 90s while crying hysterically at the age of 12, leading to completely give up on any chance of dating, but recognising that women still needed to be interacted with in a normal life. So I talked to them exactly like I'd talk to men and never expected anything, ever. This led to a massive number of friends of both genders and eventually this got me laid. Then I kept getting laid at an astounding rate. I stopped counting like 20 years ago. To this day the only difference in how I treat women is I flirt back when they flirt, because I know what that looks like now. I don't crush on women, go out of my way to talk to them, or anything special until a girl takes an interest in me. I assess her, and reciprocate or maintain a platonic vibe.

Title	Question for intermediate and advanced guys!
Author	luseek
Upvotes	8
Comments	17
Date	February 15, 2024 11:53 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ardrjd/question_for_intermediate_and_advanced_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/question-for-intermediate-and-advanced-guys.1427626 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427626

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